The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

I think, even before we decide on the scenario, we should lay down some basic rules. Here are my suggestions:


1. Try to upstage everyone else as much as possible, making your character the centre of attention at all costs. Remember: When you're a Sue, it's all about you.

2. Your character's beautiful appearance (particularly the hair and eyes) must be described at least once per day, using a minimum of four adjectives on each occasion.

3. Your character must also appear in a stunning new outfit at frequent intervals– even if your character is on a long, arduous journey in the wilderness. In fact, make that especially if your character is on a long, arduous journey in the wilderness.

4. You may launch into a detailed account of your character's beauty, talents, tragic past etc. at any time, regardless of what else is going on. (Yes, I do mean in the middle of a fight.)

*snickers*

perhaps add the following:

5. The death of a parent or loved one (usually done in by orcs) is central to your character's melancholia.

6. The desire for an unrequited love, a love who has already sailed into the West, or in any case a love who is far off, is central to your character's melancholia.

7. A weapon of unlimited and arcane power is naturally a requirement.

8. Your character must have abilities that are not necessarily canonical to Tolkien (ie., telepathy over hundreds of miles, magic in a non-magic race, beserker power to slay hundreds of orcs at one sitting, etc.).

9. Your character should either speak in a heightened, almost-Shakepearean manner, or else talk in modern slang.

10. Without our aid, the ring-bearer will ultimately fail.