The Narn i Chîn Húrin: Beleg & Falivirn - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Findegil · 04-19-2009, 10:46 AM

I must say that I disagree with you Aiwendil. The Lay is in this part for sure the most detailed text we have. That makes in natrually to our basic text. From that we have two tasks: 1. we have to bring the text to the cannon version of the story line in generall and in detail and 2. we have to add details otherwise lost if possible. A compareable situation we have had in the Lay of Leithian. We were in the lucky situation that we only found one very small passages at the departure of Beren and Felagund from Nargothrond, were we had to actually produce ryming lines. But we did aviod breaking the poem by prose inserts and we did so by propose. Here prose inserts are more acceptable here, that is true, because we already jump backward and forward between prose and poem.
But in this case we would aviod a break between a 290 line part of poem and a 560 line part. And the prose froming that break is only 5 lines of which 1 1/2 is an anyway an artifical expansion of an note from the author.

Aran, I like your lines, so I have to agree to Aiwendil that you might have used a bit to much freedom with the text. At least I would aviod the jump back to Beleg as observer. The two lines 'And seeing this heaume, __ with sight of elves,/Beleg the bowman __ did burn with cold wrath:' could be skipt with an semikolon in the line above.
And so I know that it is alway easy to critisise, I still have to say that 'casque' is hard to bear. It is too french.

Respectfully
Findegil

04-19-2009, 10:46 AM	#31
Findegil King's Writer Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 1,721	I must say that I disagree with you Aiwendil. The Lay is in this part for sure the most detailed text we have. That makes in natrually to our basic text. From that we have two tasks: 1. we have to bring the text to the cannon version of the story line in generall and in detail and 2. we have to add details otherwise lost if possible. A compareable situation we have had in the Lay of Leithian. We were in the lucky situation that we only found one very small passages at the departure of Beren and Felagund from Nargothrond, were we had to actually produce ryming lines. But we did aviod breaking the poem by prose inserts and we did so by propose. Here prose inserts are more acceptable here, that is true, because we already jump backward and forward between prose and poem. But in this case we would aviod a break between a 290 line part of poem and a 560 line part. And the prose froming that break is only 5 lines of which 1 1/2 is an anyway an artifical expansion of an note from the author. Aran, I like your lines, so I have to agree to Aiwendil that you might have used a bit to much freedom with the text. At least I would aviod the jump back to Beleg as observer. The two lines 'And seeing this heaume, __ with sight of elves,/Beleg the bowman __ did burn with cold wrath:' could be skipt with an semikolon in the line above. And so I know that it is alway easy to critisise, I still have to say that 'casque' is hard to bear. It is too french. Respectfully Findegil