Tolkien dozen - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Morthoron · 12-05-2018, 12:07 PM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.

Pervinca Took · 12-05-2018, 12:33 PM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).

Andsigil · 12-06-2018, 09:04 AM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.

Huinesoron · 12-06-2018, 09:08 AM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.

(Oh, wait, you said it had to CHANGE the character of the chapter, right? P. sure this is an accurate retelling of the final days of Numenor.

)

Pervinca Took · 12-06-2018, 12:06 PM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).

Galadriel55 · 12-07-2018, 02:18 PM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).[/QUOTE]
11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian.

Pervinca Took · 12-07-2018, 04:55 PM

1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave.
2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last.
3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll!
4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs!
5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon.
6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers.
7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it).
8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine.
9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor.
10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).
11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - Little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian.
12. The Window On The Vest - An exclusive insight into Captain Faramir's Thermal Underwear Range.

12-05-2018, 12:07 PM	#1
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

12-05-2018, 12:33 PM	#2
Pervinca Took Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Treetops, C/O Great Smials Posts: 5,035	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. 7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it). __________________ "Sit by the firelight's glow; tell us an old tale we know. Tell of adventures strange and rare; never to change, ever to share! Stories we tell will cast their spell, now and for always."

12-06-2018, 09:04 AM	#3
Andsigil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The Deepest Forges of Ered Luin Posts: 733	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. 7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it). 8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine. __________________ Even as fog continues to lie in the valleys, so does ancient sin cling to the low places, the depression in the world consciousness.

12-06-2018, 12:06 PM	#5
Pervinca Took Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Treetops, C/O Great Smials Posts: 5,035	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. 7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it). 8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine. 9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor. 10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders). __________________ "Sit by the firelight's glow; tell us an old tale we know. Tell of adventures strange and rare; never to change, ever to share! Stories we tell will cast their spell, now and for always." Last edited by Pervinca Took; 12-06-2018 at 12:24 PM.

12-07-2018, 02:18 PM	#6
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,495	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. 7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it). 8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine. 9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor. 10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders).[/QUOTE] 11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

12-06-2018, 09:08 AM	#4
Huinesoron Overshadowed Eagle Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea Posts: 3,959	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. 7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it). 8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine. 9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor. (Oh, wait, you said it had to CHANGE the character of the chapter, right? P. sure this is an accurate retelling of the final days of Numenor. )

12-07-2018, 04:55 PM	#7
Pervinca Took Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Treetops, C/O Great Smials Posts: 5,035	1. Piddles in the Dark - When you are in danger of being eaten underground but really need the toilet OR Be careful where you tread in Gollum's cave. 2. Of the Coming of Men into the Nest - Beowulf of the First House of the Edain treads softly. The ultimate end of the Great Dragon Hunt is come at last. 3. Mount Vroom - Forget Oliver's Mount - orc bikers race to the top of Orodruin in an attempt to capture the Ringbearer at the last minute - last one there is a troll! 4. The Mustard of Rohan - Theoden invents a condiment that not only tastes great on bratwurst, but it also repels Orcs! 5. Tot At Home - Smaug looks after a baby dragon. 6. Of Tuor and the Mall of Gondolin -- Tuor goes on a perplexing and dangerous quest to find Idril the perfect Yule present, battling for parking spaces, facing off against ravenous shoppers, and matching wits with witless cashiers. 7. Foamward Bound - Month in the wild or not, Galadriel considers Aragorn's and Boromir's beards to be thoroughly ridiculous, and sends them to the bathroom with plenty of elvish shaving foam (made by elves chiefly for mortals; Cirdan politely declines to use it). 8. Insider Information - Bilbo visits Smaug in Erebor to discuss some plans to corner the market in Dorwinion wine. 9. The Downfall of Doomenor - "How could this happen?!" cried Fated (son of Omen, son of Destiny, son of Horrible'Things McHappenToYa), last survivor of the island kingdom of Ominous Doomenor. 10. Gothlorien - The Fellowship arrive in the once-golden wood to find that Galadriel has gone over to the Dark Side and filled said wood with Mewlips - she and they eat the Fellowship, put their bones in their store-cupboard, and count their gold, which now includes a small, shiny, circular object. (The wood is now dark grey and also full of cobwebs and spiders). 11. Frog on the Barrow Downs - Little was known that the chief of the wights was actually an amphibian. 12. The Window On The Vest - An exclusive insight into Captain Faramir's Thermal Underwear Range. __________________ "Sit by the firelight's glow; tell us an old tale we know. Tell of adventures strange and rare; never to change, ever to share! Stories we tell will cast their spell, now and for always." Last edited by Pervinca Took; 12-07-2018 at 04:59 PM.