Tolkien Translated... into Googlese

[LadyBrooke]

“Bless us and splash us, my precioussss! I guess it’s a choice feast; at least a tasty morsel it’d make us, gollum!”

quickly descends into Gollum becoming Conan. Highlights from 56 translations.

To bless us and the beginning for us, precioussss my country! I think it was in the party elections, at least a large part of that will make us, Conan! "

Not sure what party elections have to do with becoming a different person, Gollum.

To bless us in the beginning for us, precioussss my country! I think that elections in the country, at least most of them will allow us, Conan!

Allow you Conan how Are you a celebrity stalker waiting to kidnap and murder them?

Let's start with a greeting precioussss home! I think the electoral situation, but at least we give Conan! '

Make up your mind. First you are him, then you want the government to allow you to do something to him, now you're giving him away.

we go! I think the elections, we Conan the situation, at least!

How do you Conan a situation?

I think our election Canon status, at least!

What election? Who got elected?? Aragorn held elections??? WHAT??????????

I think our position options for the Canon, at least!

What position? You and Smeagul can't agree on a thing.

I think our options for our attitudes, Canon, at least!

Well, yes, the fact that you have multiple personalities and they can't agree with each other is canon.

I think our options for our relationship, Canon, at least!

There aren't options in canon. You two are never going to be anything but arguing with each other.

I think our choice for our relationship, Canon, at least!

You don't have a choice. You're a fictional character. You do what the author says.

I think our choice for our relationship, cannon, at least!

HEY! Why are you aiming a cannon at me? Wait what are you *bang*

[Guinevere]

Incredible!
I noticed that the more translations, the shorter the quote gets i.e. the more words get left out. I wonder why.

[Aiwendil]

I love how "Conan" appears out of nowhere, eventually becomes "Canon", and finally ends up as "cannon".

Of course, neither Conan nor cannons are in the Canon.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Of course, we do not see the data in the dark! "The Hobbit" is being held in the evening because it would undermine the rain, I know!

Does anybody else love how it translates to "The Hobbit?"

A rather obvious one here:

What kind of things, to break the path of wisdom.

And now, translating from the famous Upper-Left-Hand Corner:

Dark place, not our destination if we really live, the right to retain or lose, but the problem is less a breakthrough.

[Rikae]

1. ------ see every page, I can not go to the final cost of any change in our music, however.

2. Have a friend or an enemy, the devil Annick Election Guide, or the death of another person in the world can do without laws, and love in hell or evil, or God, not the power of the game, not ----- Taoyan protect children, but in either steal or find a ---------.

Names that didn't change removed.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Wow. This gets insane at large amounts of translations (which I didn't try before since it took a while to do even the minimum 10 translations from my iPad, which is what I was posting from before).

Hill, curiosity and fear of war dead bird. This is a group of three people to help buy a thunderbird?

Rainy days in port the day before. But if you understand the concerns of Western Consumers.

And yes, that came from TOLKIEN.

And the whopper:

Gold weight and length - of losses, lost 0, the second is, you will see a shadow.

For reference, that's the first six lines (it wouldn't let me enter the rest) of the poem about Strider. I'm giving you the answer on this one because I think it's frankly impossible to guess.

"Some issues and some problems in my family is happy dragon, I think?"

is translated from

"The Ring! Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing? And I have seen if only for an instant in the house of Elrond. Could I not have a sight of it again?"

"All Ages, stone age, he is the owner of the horse she is black."

Since this can alllllmost be guessed, I'll leave it alone. :P

""Home koukhgrongsnamamgr park pirates! Finally cool."

I think something didn't get translated back . . . Maybe there wasn't an equivalent for it in English? That happened once when it translated something to Arabic - it showed one of the words in English.

[Evisse the Blue]

Original text:

"We cannot use the Ruling Ring. That we now know too well. It belongs to Sauron and was made by him alone, and is altogether evil. Its strength, Boromir, is too great for anyone to wield at will, save only those who have already a great power of their own. But for them it holds an even deadlier peril. The very desire of it corrupts the heart. "

...30 translations later we get:

"We can not remove the ring. Now we know. The best part of the evil Sauron. Boluomier main effects of individual or team. Risk of death. I really do not want a broken heart."

Hey this sounds like a regular movie script :P

Also:

Original text:

"The fleeting moment had passed, beyond recall. 'Sneaking, sneaking!' he hissed. 'Hobbits always so polite, yes. O nice hobbits! Sméagol brings them up secret ways that nobody else could find. Tired he is, thirsty he is, yes thirsty; and he guides them and he searches for paths, and they say sneak, sneak . Very nice friends, O yes my precious, very nice.'"

...20 translations later we get:

"Authorized an immediate reaction. Craven, nonsense! And teeth. The Hobbit hobby is very polite, friendly. Oh! Smeagol fine, nobody is. Tired of Hu Jintao, seven, seven, who is responsible, I say unto you, dissemination and infiltration. A good friend of my son too. ""

This is strange, I picked an 'easier' passage on purpose and it got even more messed up than a difficult one (if the degree of 'mess-up' can even be accurately measured with these things...)