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#1 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,605
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The Last Alliance
This is the first draft of the chapter The Last Alliance in the part The Black Years.
The Basic Text in this chapter is of course from Of the Rings of Power out of the Sil77, nonetheless and I will give source information for each part that is used. The markings are: BY-HL-zz for Black Years, Head-Lines, marking all headlines for the chapters in this part. LA-SL-zz for The Last Alliance, Story-Line, to document all changes that construct the main text. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the text that is mentioned in the source information of each insert. Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks {example} = text that should be deleted [example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes <source example> = additions with source information example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason /example/ = outline expansion Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next. Quote:
BY-HL-20: I did not find a good head line of Tolkien for this. I do not like it much to invent one, but I did not see any better choice. LA-SL-01: We have to add here a kind of indication to what this refers, since the ‘There’ has lost its reference. LA-SL-02: A lot of text was have added between the last mention of Pelargir, therefore I think we should give the name here again. LA-SL-03: This seems to be the right place to give the reason for the title ‘Prince’ that the Lords of Dol-Amroth held. And as I understand the Note about Dor-en-Ernil, Ernil was the name of the Lord that received that title. LA-SL-04: The oath of the later dead men of Dunharrow belongs chronologically here and there seems no better text than that from LotR. LA-SL-05: I used this older text because it has a bit more details about the oath. LA-SL-06: The preliminary version of this are either nearly exactly as this as the final or completely different. LA-SL-07: At least for this info we have a different wording form this older version. LA-SL-08: We avoided to give this information as outlook to the future when we told the story of Gil-galad receiving the rings, so it has to come in here. LA-SL-09: I do not gladly take up sentences from LotR, but here I don’t see any better chance. LA-SL-10: The same is true here. But in this case it might be acceptable since Elrond the narrator is the sole eye witness we have. LA-SL-11: A Detail found nowhere else again. LA-SL-12: We do not have many details about the Battle, so think we have to take whatever we can get. LA-SL-13: I would like to tell this here and not later in retrospect. LA-SL-14: A note from the Appendix is safer to take: It must have had a source in the internal recording in Middle-earth, so such details must have been told some where. LA-SL-15: This is a construction from some passages in the retelling of Elrond during the council in Imlardis. LA-SL-16: I moved this from later in the text, since I think it belongs rather to end of the Second age instead of the beginning of the Third. LA-SL-17: At the end of the text I had again no choice but to use Elrond’s account. For me this chapter should end here and we should use the text of the following paragraph from Of the Rings of Power and Thrid Age ‘Thus began the Third Age of the World, after the Eldest Days and the Black Years …’ somewhere at the start of the part ‘The fading Years’. Respectfully Findegil Last edited by Findegil; 06-12-2018 at 05:18 PM. |
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#2 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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BY-HL-20: What about the name of the HoME book: Sauron Defeated
LA-SL-01: I think we can take the entire opening of the paragraph instead of editing. I know it is a slight repeat of what was said in the last chapter, but there was an interlude between these things, and I think it is preferable to leave things as they are instead of changing the wording for such a little reason. LA-SL-02: I would say 'at Pelargir' since we have already given this name before. LA-SL-03: I think that this note actually simply says that they are reffering to the Prince of Dol Amroth when they say 'prince.' The word ernil is a Sindarin word for 'prince.' Therefore, I think the use of it here as a name is far too great a liberty. I also think that we should keep the origin of the name 'Dol Amroth' and I do not think it can be inserted later easily. Without a name, I do not think this note can be re-worked. Therefore I think we should keep it in its original place as a footnote to Cirion and Eorl. It is a minor note and will not be a big deal if it is not kept in the chronological narrative. LA-SL-04: Agreed LA-SL-05: Agreed, but I would return to the Of the Rings of Power text with "{and in}In the circle of Angrenost" because it flows better. LA-SL-05.5: Right after this paragraph, I think we can add in this bit from the Rivers and Beacon Hills of Gondor: Quote:
LA-SL-07: Agreed, but for the last tense change, it should be 'lay' not 'lied.' LA-SL-08: Agreed LA-SL-09: I am not sure this addition is justified, since it is such a small detail, and taking from a published text without good reason (like so) seems like it needs a very good reason. LA-SL-10: Agreed LA-SL-11: Agreed LA-SL-12: Agreed, but we agreed to change the name Malgalad to Amdír. LA-SL-13: I disagree with placing this here. We give this detail in the very next chapter, where the two are introduced as characters, and it fits much more smoothly there. I see no compelling reason to shift it here. LA-SL-14: Agreed LA-SL-15: Agreed LA-SL-16: I think we should end the chapter right where it leaves off before this addition. In my draft for the next chapter, I had this paragraph in the beginning as is, and I see no reason to place this here. The phrase "Then Sauron was for that time vanquished, and he forsook his body, and his spirit fled far away and hid in waste places; and he took no visible shape again for many long years." is a much more definitive ending to the entirety of the Second Age narrative, and I think it leaves us on a good final note. LA-SL-17: I do not think that this addition is needed, as it simply restates in slightly different words the meaning of the previous sentences. Therefore I do not see a good reason to take this passage from LotR, especially if the entire paragraph is used in its proper place next chapter. As to the following paragraph, I used it as the opening paragraph for the first chapter of the Fading Years. Last edited by ArcusCalion; 06-12-2018 at 08:55 PM. |
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#3 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,605
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BY-HL-20: 'Sauron Defeated' is a good idea, I didn't thought about that.
LA-SL-01:So you would start with 'Yet there came at length a stay in the onslaugth of Sauron upon the westlands.'? That does not strike me as a good starting sentence. I as well very much dislike to tell in short hand the story just given in full narrative. LA-SL-02: Agreed. LA-SL-03: Okay, I was not aware that Ernil is Sindarin for Prince. But I still think we should us the not here. I would edit it thus: Quote:
LA-SL-05.5: Agreed. LA-SL-07: Oops. of course you are right. The Rest later today. Respectfully Findegil |
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#4 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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BY-HL-20: Is this agreed then?
LA-SL-01: Like so: Quote:
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#5 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
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One thing, if I remember well, Cirdan was the owner of Narya from the beginning, despite of the later note, because is published in TToYotTA in the Appendices of TLotR.
Greetings |
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#6 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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Gondowe, the Tale of years of the Third Age says this:
Quote:
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#7 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
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But I think at least CT thought Cirdan had owned it from the beginning , is said by him in some book, possibly UT. Nevertheless it is more factible that one ring-->one elf. And of course this will fix that Mithrandir would come to ME at TA. (Don't know if you reached a conclusion about that matter)
Greetings Last edited by gondowe; 06-13-2018 at 12:23 PM. |
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#8 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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I am confused as to what you are proposing. In all the documents that give details about the transmission of ownership of the rings, two were given to Gil-galad, and he distributed them to Elrond and Cirdan. This is in Of the Rings of Power and The History of Galadriel and Celeborn. The only text that says it was given directly to Cirdan is the VERY brief snippet in the Tale of Years of the Third Age, which is so compressed as to be barely a source of historical movement. I see no argument to give the ring to Cirdan directly, as this would go against all the source texts. As to the time of Gandalf's landing, there is also no debate. All the texts say that Gandalf, Saruman, and Radgast came during the Third Age around the time when the Shadow first came upon Mirkwood. Therefore there is also no reason to change or debate this. I included this event in my drafts for the Third Age, with some slight editing to reflect the new change that the two Blue Wizards came earlier in the Second Age.
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#9 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
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I'm not proposing anything.
I only say that "they had been held at first", was for me meant that Cirdan had Narya from the beginning (given by Gil-galad at the beginning as is stated in CGaC, despite the other note that says he gave him in the Last Alliance) of course it is, I think, a later note, but if the sentence in TLotR was, as I believed it was, would be definitive for have been published by the author. In my text is said that Celebrimbor gave Vilya and Narya to Gil-galad and Gil-galad gave Narya to Cirdan at the beginning (not in TLast Alliance period). Greetings |
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#10 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
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I have downloaded a UT book (digital) to check, and in the note 11 of THoGaC, CT says:
Earlier in this narrative (p.249) it is said that Gil-galad gave Narya, the Red Ring, to Círdan as soon as he himself received it from Celebrimbor, and this agrees with the statements in Appendix B to The Lord of the Rings and in Of the Rings of Power, that Círdan held it from the beginning. The statement here, at variance with the others, was added in the margin of the text. I think this is why I thought what I am saying, for the published text. Greetings |
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#11 | ||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,605
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BY-HL-20: Yes, that is agreed, sorry for not being clear about this at once.
LA-SL-01: Okay, that is a better start. Agreed. LA-SL-08: Good to have you discussing with us gondowe! I think that you are right. The statement in LotR, Appendix B is not so unspecifc, in my oppinion. Specially if taken together with the first version of Concerning Galadriel and Celeborn it makes the use of the later nearly note impossible. I suggest therefore to change in this chapter to skip L-SL-08 but add the following: Quote:
Quote:
LA-SL-09: I can understand your concerns and I am not adamant on this addition. If you really think it superficial we can let it out. LA-SL-12: Oops, Malgalad to Amdír was a late change from ‘private Draft’ to ‘Draft’ in the earlier chapters and I missed to make it through out. LA-SL-13: The description of the War is already week. I think that this recapture of Minas Ithil is an essential part of the War strategy of the West. But you might of course be right that we will miss this passage dearly in the next chapter. I suppose we leave this point undecided until we have the full picture in both chapters and then chose were to use this passage. LA-SL-16: It is always a bit difficult to place a chapter break when working only on one side of it. So I for the moment agree to place this in the next chapter. If when discussing this I feel that it would better be move we can easily re-open this point. LA-SL-17: Yes, when used in the next chapter this sentence is superficial. I used it because I was unwilling to state that Isildur moved to Minas Anor next, which is what followed in The Rings of Power. Respectfully Findegil Last edited by Findegil; 06-14-2018 at 04:05 PM. |
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#12 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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LA-SL-08: I think the second option is best. Personally I think 'before he died' is not specific, and so we should simply leave the text as it is, and not include RP-SL-24.5 and LA-SL-15.5.
LA-SL-09: I think it is safer to leave it out. LA-SL-13/16/17: This is fair. We can re-open discussion on these points later if you find the next chapter inadequate. I think with that we have reached the end of the first round of edits on the entirety of the Second Age material! That's incredible, especially considering the unfinished and uncertain state of most of the Second Age events, and I think we have made an incredible narrative out of some very difficult source material! I'll try to prep the first Fading Years chapter for tomorrow. Last edited by ArcusCalion; 06-13-2018 at 11:53 PM. |
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#13 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
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In principle, that's fine. But I would like to think on how the Rings were "hold".
I mean. It is assumed that when Sauron made the One Ring the Elves took Theirs from their hands to hide them but not hold them (on their fingers). Then it always seemed strange to me that Gil-galad would take Vilya in the war against Sauron since HE had the One in his hand. Unless Gil-galad took IT as Frodo did with a chain. So, "before he died" should be taken into account "just before" or in a previous time? What is your opinion? How could it be handled? I personally maintained that Gil-galad gave Vilya to Elrond when he says in GaC, for consistency. But it's something that always gnawed at me. Greetings Last edited by gondowe; 06-14-2018 at 10:11 AM. |
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#14 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,605
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Who received the Ring when? I think we must split the discussion a bit:
LA-SL-08 or RP-SL-09b and RP-SL-25b: I think, it can not be denied, that LotR, Appendix B states that Círdan held Narya while Gil-gald held Vilya. Thus Gil-galad gave Narya to Círdan when he received the Rings from Celebrimbor. That means the removal of LA-SL-08 and the change to RP-SL-09b and RP-SL-25b is necessary. RP-SL-24.5 & LA-SL-15.5: The choice we have is only between: A) Gil-gald giving Vilya to Elrond during the first White Council (RP-SL-24.5 and LA-SL-15.5 not used) or B) right before his death (RP-SL-24.5 and LA-SL-15.5 used) From the textual situation I lean rather to B). But from logical point of view thinks look different: - Of course keeping a Ring of Power even without using it has some influence on the potential of the Keeper (enhancement in ‘Valinórean stature’?), e.g. Sam at Cirith Ungol or Frodo dealing with Gollum at the slope of Orodruin. But Gil-galad was as King of the Noldor holding the greatest authority and real might of the candidates Gil-galad, Galadriel, Círdan and Elrond (even if others like Celeborn, Glorfindel, Galdor, Erestor or Gildor where considered, that does not change the picture). - To give Vilya to Elrond at the moment of his promotion to Vice regent of Eriador and Lord of the independent stronghold of Imlardis fits into the picture. He is younger than many of the others and as an Half-elf might have been considered wielding less authority over his subjects. Thus from Gil-galads point of view and enhancement of Elrond makes more sense than on of himself. Or any one else. - Anyhow from the perspective of Gil-galad the Rings were unusable (only the potential not the real ‘might’ is changed). - Because of the lure to use them they were a burden. - If Gil-galad kept Vilya two Rings would have been bestowed within the same Elvish realm (Lindon), which might be considered as risky. - Going into the mortal combat with Sauron and holding Vilya would have been foolish. The luring would have helped Sauron in the contest as long as he wielded the One and if Sauron would have gained Vilya during the contest that would have been even worth for the other combatants than the death of Gil-galad alone, because Sauron could use the Ring and would gain what so ever advantage the Ring could offer. I don’t see the text of LotR, Appendix B if read specific giving us the freeness to stat that Gil-galad gave Vilya to Elrond before the combat. That is taking too much liberty since we have absolutely no evidence of this from JRR Tolkien. Thus at the long last A) is the logical choice, for me. Do we agree on this? Respectfully Findegil |
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#15 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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I agree to the Cirdan bit. The revisions are good.
Edit: I am sorry, I misread everything in the post haha. Forgive me, it has been a long night.... I also agree with A) Last edited by ArcusCalion; 06-14-2018 at 12:40 PM. |
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#16 |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 217
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A) Gil-gald giving Vilya to Elrond during the first White Council
B) right before his death As I said before I think that TLOTR must be taken as "law". In this case "before he died", what does it mean or can it mean? Giving the ring to Elrond at the time of the White Council IS before he died, though a long time, it is true. On the other hand what I wanted to say is that when Celebrimbror felt that Sauron had put the One Ring, in turn he removed the one that at that moment would take, because he would know that "one ring to rule them all". And for that reason the decision to hide them not wearing them (while Sauron was wearing the One Ring). However powerful Gil-galad might be, wearing Vilya could mean that Sauron could dominate him and therefore defeat him. Possibly, as speculation, for this reason is the marginal note of Tolkien, I do not know. Therefore for consistency I have to choose and in fact I always chose A), although as I said before is perhaps one of those passages, let's say, impossible to do entirely coherent without showing them a bit "forced". Greetings Or maybe leave the marginal note, instead of for Cirdan, for Elrond, that is, gave Vilya to Elrond before leaving for the war in the Time of the Last Alliance. Of course, leaving it safely in Imladris, would it be possible? Last edited by gondowe; 06-14-2018 at 12:47 PM. |
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#17 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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Yes that is very true Gondowe. I misread Fin's post (apologies all) and so I find that I agree with you both. It seems we are all in agreement.
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#18 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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I found another addition worth including from a draft of the Numenor material in Appendix A, given under the Tale of Years for the Second Age draft material in HoME 12:
Quote:
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#19 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,605
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Nice find! I agree to include it.
Respectfully Findegil |
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#20 | |||
Wight
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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I think this chapter came together nicely. For what it's worth, I also agree that option A) was the best choice with respect to the ring-giving debate. I had always read "before he died" as referring to some unspecified time long before his death. Some comments:
1) This sentence is really long, and with the addition the parallelism of the original first sentence is gone: Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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#21 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 515
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1) I like this, since you're quite right that the sentence is really long.
2) This is also a good change, well done. I agree with it. |
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#22 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,605
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1) LA-SL-04: Agreed.
2) LA-SL-12.5: Agreed. Respectfully Findegil |
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