Qs and As for TLOTR but I only want WRONG answers

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

What did Frodo dream of in Bombadil's house?

Something with an axe-wielding carrot chasing him through a library, only all of the books were made out of fondant icing, and they were all How to Win Friends and Influence People. And the librarian was a penguin in a top hat.
I know this because it's all in the dream diary that he kept for his psychiatrist (HoME XV).

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What was Legolas's favourite food?

By a strange and possibly sinister coincidence, it was butterscotch fondant icing.

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What is a common Hobbit expression for some bizarre or unbelievable piece of information?