"The Hobbit: There And Back Again" To be Renamed "The Battle of the Five Armies"

[Zigûr]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Exactly. I am just profoundly depresed having read an. Piece by an alleged Tolkien scholar claiming that becausecTolkien tweaked the Hobbit to fit with the Rings it was ok for PJ to inflict all this stuff on the Hobbit. Assuming there is a turbine roar in vicinity of Wolvercote cemetery...

Yes I also see a lot of people saying "But Tolkien attempted to re-write The Hobbit!" and when people respond "But he stopped early on because it wouldn't have been The Hobbit anymore," they don't seem to have much of an answer.

This film looks unbelievably cliché, overblown and stupid but I think I was so beaten down by 'The Desolation of Smaug' that I've gone beyond the point of frustration into a space where I've actually become curious about how mind-blowingly awful it might be. I'm honestly expecting a masterpiece of awfulness where the corporate wasteland of the Hollywood imagination reaches its zenith.

[Tar-Jêx]

Originally Posted by Zigûr

Yes I also see a lot of people saying "But Tolkien attempted to re-write The Hobbit!" and when people respond "But he stopped early on because it wouldn't have been The Hobbit anymore," they don't seem to have much of an answer.

This film looks unbelievably cliché, overblown and stupid but I think I was so beaten down by 'The Desolation of Smaug' that I've gone beyond the point of frustration into a space where I've actually become curious about how mind-blowingly awful it might be. I'm honestly expecting a masterpiece of awfulness where the corporate wasteland of the Hollywood imagination reaches its zenith.

I wouldn't even care about the changes at all if they made the movie fun and interesting. They don't. As well as being an absolutely terrible adaptation, the movies are also reasonably ungood. When you make changes to make an interesting movie, and they make it significantly worse, then you have done something wrong.

I would've been completely fine with Azog leading the orc army into the Battle of the Five Armies, because he makes for an antagonist figure after Smaug is dead, which I do believe was the purpose to begin with. I am not fine, however, with the weird extra plot lines with the dwarves, because they just shouldn't be there. Nobody likes them. The moviegoers find them confusing, and pointless, while the readers think it's insulting, and pointless.

Of all the unnecessary PJ changes, Tauriel was probably the worst. She creates a disgusting side plot which actually everyone (save a few) can't stand how cringeworthy it is, and accomplishes NOTHING in the overarching plot. Even this whole Sauron crap sidestory is better, because it ties into the overarching plot, and gives Ian McKellan more screentime, which is something that people demanded.

[alatar]

Oh my...those might be Morgul bats...which can be slain only by athelas arrows.

Liked the Trolls with the catapults strapped to their backs.

[Kuruharan]

Originally Posted by alatar

Oh my...those might be Morgul bats...which can be slain only by athelas arrows.

Fortunately, the Elves have brought a store of athelas arrows with them on campaign.

They use these arrows because the athelas is poisonous to the orcs.

[alatar]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Fortunately, the Elves have brought a store of athelas arrows with them on campaign.

They use these arrows because the athelas is poisonous to the orcs.

Be exact. Morgul orcs respond to athelas. Use DDT for Morian orcs and organic cellulosic orcicide for White Handers.

[Kuruharan]

Right you are!

Here I am criticizing Jackson for his slipshod work and then there I go using such lazy and general terms in my own criticisms.

I may never live down the shame.

[Tar-Jêx]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

Right you are!

Here I am criticizing Jackson for his slipshod work and then there I go using such lazy and general terms in my own criticisms.

I may never live down the shame.

We shall write stories of how one who criticized PJ suffered mental torture after failing to use the correct terminology!

We should surely eradicate any who dares to have any ounce of 'wrong'-ness in their work! Ironically, that includes all of us, too! World purging, ho!

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by alatar

...organic cellulosic orcicide for White Handers.

Amusingly, in the States there is a pest control company named Orkin.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Amusingly, in the States there is a pest control company named Orkin.

Evidently the founders stumbled on a chemical extracted from a common but often overlooked plant...