"The Hobbit: There And Back Again" To be Renamed "The Battle of the Five Armies"

[Zigûr]

Beaten me to the punch, Kuru, I was about to post this.

Gut-punch more like.

Dwarves riding rams. For goodness' sake.

"It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."

[alatar]

Can't wait to get into the heated discussion of which is faster: Radagast's bunny sled or this Dwarven chariot.

[Aganzir]

I'm unimpressed. The amount of recycling old imagery in these films hurts as it is, and now we're even getting Galadriel's feet.

Peter Jackson shows he hasn't improved as a director one bit in these 15 years. Most of the youtube comments seemed doubtful too.

Some scenes did look visually better than the first two films in general, though. And mind you I'm not talking about the CGI and the unrealistic fighting choreographies here.

[Inziladun]

"I will have war!"

Give me a break.

It all seems very much darker than the book. They're trying to build it up to a climax rivaling the big showdown at the Morannon in ROTK. "Recycled" is the best word I can think to describe it. And why does PJ have only two modes with these films: goofy slapstick and overblown dramatics?

[Aganzir]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

And why does PJ have only two modes with these films: goofy slapstick and overblown dramatics?

That's the only two modes I've ever seen in PJ's films anyway. Perhaps he's like that in real life too. Now that I think of it, those modes would make for an entertaining family comedy.

If they wanted a bigger climax they should have done the War of Wrath, not the prequel to the climax of the Third Age.

[Kuruharan]

Another point that adds to the silliness of the rams; the dwarves were shown in the first movie riding large ponies. What is the need to have them riding rams?

Obviously, they do have to ride. They can't just march into battle like they did in the book. That would be silly.

We have to recreate the charge of Rohirrim from ROTK after all.

[Morthoron]

"Peter Jackson has got your goat!"
I snicker with a sheepish grin:
First coneys and sleds to rabbit on,
And just as the plot wore thin,
This new haresy to aggravate ewe --
A film-induced coma
From the barnyard aroma
Wafting above the din.

But Pete shall ram his petty view --
This parody, this jest, this mock --
Down the collective throats of those
Like lambs who wait patiently in the dock,
And blindly submit
While they sit through the sh*t
This fleecing of the flock.

[Zigûr]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

And why does PJ have only two modes with these films: goofy slapstick and overblown dramatics?

I feel like that is something which has become true of all kinds of adventure and capital-r Romance media in general (which we might otherwise clinically term 'speculative fiction'). It all feels like 'soap operas and sit coms but with dragons and robots' to me these days, nothing with that "applicability" which was so valuable to Professor Tolkien.

In my opinion the modern, mainstream Western 'culture industry' may currently be at one of its lowest points in terms of anti-intellectualism and fatuousness (yes I know 'fatuous' is one of my favourite words), turning everything into this sort of homogenous cultural gruel of adaptations, reboots and revivals of older texts and properties which are chewed up and regurgitated as identical, generic slop. As a wise man once said, "I guess if you feed humanity flavourless wallpaper paste for decades then you shouldn't be surprised if that's all they want to eat now." But it's a chicken-and-egg problem really, the industry feeding the consumers and vice-versa. That being said, I think a lot of blame lies with the current intensity of the corporatocratic grip on our politics and economics: lazy, stock storytelling feeds the bottom line a lot more readily than, I don't know, dignity or meaning.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Zigûr

In my opinion the modern, mainstream Western 'culture industry' may currently be at one of its lowest points in terms of anti-intellectualism and fatuousness (yes I know 'fatuous' is one of my favourite words), turning everything into this sort of homogenous cultural gruel of adaptations, reboots and revivals of older texts and properties which are chewed up and regurgitated as identical, generic slop. As a wise man once said, "I guess if you feed humanity flavourless wallpaper paste for decades then you shouldn't be surprised if that's all they want to eat now." But it's a chicken-and-egg problem really, the industry feeding the consumers and vice-versa. That being said, I think a lot of blame lies with the current intensity of the corporatocratic grip on our politics and economics: lazy, stock storytelling feeds the bottom line a lot more readily than, I don't know, dignity or meaning.

And this is precisely the reason I have so little use for the vast majority of films released in the last 15 years or so. I'm only hoping a reboot won't be in the cards for LOTR ever. Noting the trend of such movies, I have no illusion it would be any sort of improvement over PJ, but I fear would instead be an even worse example of hack-and-slash Michael Beyism.

[Smug the Fabulous]

So...the mind of Peter Jackson:
"Pfft! Horses are overrated! A white horse for Radagast like in the books? Nope! Let's have him on a sled drawn by bunnies...Rhosgobel Rabbits, shall we say, eh, loyal book fans?" (wink wink) "And let's have Thranduil riding an elk, cause he's from the woods and who has ever heard of horses in a wood, am I right? And let's now give the dwarves a chariot drawn by rams...oh, Jackson, you've done it again, you masterful storyteller, you!" (Reclines on a chair and looks at the comment section on his Facebook page).

But in all seriousness, the computer effects looked...well, terrible and...
The. Attempts. At. Being. DRAMATIC!

...are still cringey. I have yet to come up with the amount of jokes I had with The Desolation of Smaug trailer. I have a feeling this might be the worst film of them all (though I've only watched An Unexpected Journey and felt like watching DOS for the sake of it, but the fan comments on Peter Jackson's Facebook seriously put me off with the whole "But books and films are different mediums" and the usual nonsense).

Sorry to suddenly barge in on the conversation. This is my first time posting on the site but I just watched this teaser and felt I really needed to say something about it.

[Kuruharan]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

And this is precisely the reason I have so little use for the vast majority of films released in the last 15 years or so. I'm only hoping a reboot won't be in the cards for LOTR ever. Noting the trend of such movies, I have no illusion it would be any sort of improvement over PJ, but I fear would instead be an even worse example of hack-and-slash Michael Beyism.

I'm using the excuse that Michael Bey has already been referenced in this thread as an excuse to share this.

On a serious note, this satire does show much of what is wrong with contemporary movie making.

We now return to the regularly scheduled thread.