Kim Kardashian said to have the 'body of a hobbit'

[Faramir Jones]

An episode of the TV show South Park last year had the character Wendy Testaburger denouncing Kim Kardashian as a bad role model for girls:

Kim Kardashian is a short, overweight woman who manipulates her image and makes average girls feel horrible about themselves!

When denounced by a boy as a 'liar' she replied:

Look it up, stupid! In real life Kim Kardashian has the body of a hobbit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU-J-SHuuYI

Later in the relevant episode, Ms. Kardashian's fiance, Kanye West, appears to deny that she is a hobbit, but ends up making things worse.

If hobbits existed in real life, how do people think they would respond? Would they regard it as a compliment, turning the insult around? Would they make their own comments about Kim Kardashian, some of them perhaps strong enough for Tolkien not to translate?

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Faramir Jones

If hobbits existed in real life, how do people think they would respond? Would they regard it as a compliment, turning the insult around? Would they make their own comments about Kim Kardashian, some of them perhaps strong enough for Tolkien not to translate?

I'd be more apt to put Kardashian in the Gollum-mold, at least as far as behavior goes.

Since Hobbits are generally regarded as good-natured and affable rather than nice-looking, one's reaction on being compared to one would depend on personal priorities of importance. Someone obsessed with their own physical beauty would be apt to take offense, whereas those with an appreciation for "inner" attributes might enjoy the comparison.

[Morthoron]

Ms. Kardashian's derriere is reminiscent of Bag-end.

[Andsigil]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Ms. Kardashian's derriere is reminiscent of Bag-end.

The older I get, the more I turn into Shallow Hal. As a result, every time I see her, I'm looking for a prehensile tail and a forked tongue.

[Faramir Jones]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Ms. Kardashian's derriere is reminiscent of Bag-end.

I think that's a little harsh; and I say it as someone who has no time for her or her family.

Paris Hilton has been the one frequently compared to Gollum, not Ms. Kardashian. On one TV programme, I remember someone saying that having sex (I'm using a euphemism here) with Ms. Hilton would be like having sex with Gollum, which made me feel very sad for the latter.

There's a photograph speculating that if Paris Hilton and Gollum had a child, this is what it would look like:

http://cheezburger.com/3730422528

Of possible remote interest is that the New Zealand singer Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O'Connor (otherwise Lorde) has said that, after looking at the playback of her live performances, she looks like Gollum:

http://perezhilton.com/2013-12-24-lo....6BfgI14d.dpbs

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Faramir Jones

Paris Hilton has been the one frequently compared to Gollum, not Ms. Kardashian.

All right, Kardashian is Glaurung, then. Sitting contentedly on wealth, vain, secure in a sense of invulnerability....don't know about the trail of slime though. Some things are better consigned to the Void.

[Faramir Jones]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

All right, Kardashian is Glaurung, then. Sitting contentedly on wealth, vain, secure in a sense of invulnerability....don't know about the trail of slime though. Some things are better consigned to the Void.

If she is Glaurung, then I would expect that dragon to wander around Beleriand, wearing as many jewels as possible, including the Nauglamír, and ask everyone he, she or it meets to remark on his, her or its beauty and intelligence.

Eventually, due to the adverse reports on that dragon in the Elvish and Edainian tabloids, a large number of orcs overcome their fear and complain to Morgoth, who summons Glaurung, threatening dire punishments if that worm doesn't get back to killing people...