Arda Cup Football 2013

[the phantom]

Pre-Tournament Tidbits From Eru
by Philip McPhantom, MESPN News

At a brief press conference last night, Eru gave a thumbs-up to this year's cup, and announced the new financials.

"The Downs team and Tol-In-Gaurhoth seem to be taking their roster demands in stride, and it looks like all the expensive squads are a bit more reasonably priced," said Eru, putting forth that the new team min & max and luxury tax rules have nudged the teams towards greater competitive balance.

When asked if he was happy with the amount of roster turnover, Eru said it was "just right", pointing out several stars or pairings that were staying put and then comparing it to previous years. "Arda Cup shouldn't just be a display of talent- or a trophy up for sale. This way there is more consistency and flavor to it all, and gives people everywhere a bigger reason to watch."

And looking at last year's numbers, overall attendance and viewership was indeed up, and thanks in part to the new viewing and stadium contracts Eru announced that Arda Cup would be paying out 75 million more this year- which brings the total award money to 2.56 billion. This change was a result of bringing the 1st place award money down to 135 million, in concert with raising the minimum award to 65 million. Eru felt this change was in keeping with the salary cap and competitive balance.

The mood at the press conference was cheery and celebratory, and one brave reporter *ahem* even had the cheek to ask Eru for a tournament prediction.

[Galadriel55]

As the team rosters are filling up, Morgoth was accused of letting too many cats on his team. “Telvido we can understand,” allowed the indignant voices, “he’s been around for a while and he sometimes even deserves his 9 million. But what about that sidekick Oikeroi?” The indignant voices snorted. “That cat doesn’t do anything, he just hangs around admiring Telvido and distracting everyone around him.”

Yet this is not all – recently a rumour came out that Umuiyan the cat will be completing the catty trio in the Angband team. The indignant voices became outraged. “I used to actually like this team,” and outraged indignant voice proclaimed, “but now it’s all catty! I have a feeling that there’s something cooking in that team. Next year,” he pronounced ominously, “Morgoth will not captain this team. If we do not do something about it, next year’s captain will be Telvido!”

However, some people are not as upset about the cat trio in the team. They predict that the trio will be on par with the (in)famous pairs of Nerdanel and Miriel, and of Celegorm and Curufin. They don’t care if the team is taken over by cats if it wins the Cup.

There is another accusation thrown at Umuiyan. The addition of this cat into the team makes the stats as follows: almost half the players’ names start with U! “It is udiculous!” the indignant voices continues whining indignantly. “Nobody allows so many players with the same initial on a team!” Umuriyan wished to respond to such unfair criticism. When the mic was brought to him, he launched unto a tirade that sounded like “mearrraw” repeated fourty-six and a half times.

Also, Oikeroi was caught eating cactuses.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

• It's official: AC Bel's Beren and Doriath's Lúthien have signed with Inter Beleriand for a currently undisclosed fee. Said team captain Maedhros: 'Beren will give our team an extra scoring punch and bring energy to our midfield, and Lúthien will give added solidity to our team's back line.' She is expected to slot in one of the full-back positions, left empty after Maedhros confirmed the departure of Balrog #5.
  
  
• AC Beleriand might have let go of the Man who gave them five goals and an assist, but Fëanor seems not to have batted an eyelash and signed Havens wide midfielders Angrod and Aegnor. The AC Bel captain refused to answer the media's questions after the announcement, but Angrod commented: 'It would be hard to fill in for a player like Beren, but uncle told us that we won't be expected to play as he did. He told us to play our way, our style.' The 'AC Bel needs a Plan B' debate might have been put to rest with these signings.
  
  
• Another husband-and-wife pair signs for the same team: FC Valinor midfielder Idril and Havens forward Tuor return to Gondolin, confirms team captain Maeglin. He also confirms that Gothmog has left the team, our second Balrog departure of this round-up. But let us digest this first: Maeglin and Tuor fielded as a strike partnership? Is this the magic of football?
  
  
• And now back to brothers: Valimar centre-back pairing Amrod and Amras, as well as Cup-winning centre-back Caranthir, who played a blinder in the finals (he should have made our 2nd All-Tournament Team instead of Nazgûl #6--our apologies), join their grandfather Finwë's Tirion squad. Finally, the team upon Túna has a real backbone to its defence. But are they playing three at the back again? Said Caranthir: 'I can play full-back; so can any of my brothers. Our parents taught us to be proficient in all aspects of the game.'
  
  
• Hithlum's Nienor has confirmed her tranfer to Finrod's Nargothrond--but without her brother, Túrin, it seems. Is Turambar's nemesis Glaurung still playing for the Cave Elves, then?
  
  
• The rest of the round-up: Finrod's sister Galadriel confirms that she had joined Dwarves United, returning to her original role as a goalkeeper. So, who will Dwarves United's signing-to-improve-their-offence be? / Gondor's Hyarmendacil passed a medical and completes his transfer to the Sea. Ulmo hopes that his signing would help improve their defence from last year. The previous goalkeeper Voronwë has moved to the midfield--could he be the playmaker the Sea needs? / Minas Tirith captain Denethor II confirms that his son Faramir has exercised his opt-out option and left the team. In his place as attacking midfielder is Rohan's Éomer. 'Our ancient allies have heeded our call,' the last ruling Steward said to the press. 'The same, sadly, cannot be said of my sons.'