Three Times The Hobbit?

[Kuruharan]

Like butter that has been scraped over too much bread” was how JRR Tolkien described the supernatural world-weariness of Bilbo Baggins in the opening chapter of The Lord of the Rings.

What a great opening line for the review, especially the way it was used.

The stuffing is required because Jackson and Warner Bros have divided Tolkien’s fairly short story into three incredibly long films, which will mean vastly inflated box office revenues at the small cost of artistic worth and entertainment.

Way to go for the jugular! I don't think there is any better way to sum up this mess.

Here, Gandalf has an interminable conversation with Galadriel (Cate Blanchett), Saruman (Christopher Lee) and Elrond (Hugo Weaving), which gets so boring that Bilbo and the dwarves leave without them.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

I have decided I like this critic!

Thus spake Kuruharan.