Itaril - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

TheMisfortuneTeller · 06-29-2011, 03:59 PM

If at first you can't sell Mary Sue as "itaril," change the spelling of her name to T-a-u-r-i-e-l and try again.

A Name by any other Name ...

Daughter of vegetation,
Child of the flowers and plants,
Offspring of trite derivation,
Sweetheart of movie romance,

Formula role for an actor,
Paid to look lovely on cue,
Storywise, hardly a factor:
Anything sexy will do.

Show up for filming and fake it
Who’s to care what you might do?
Jiggle and wiggle and shake it.
Strike a cute pose for the crew

Try to look fierce yet alluring
Try to look deadly but sweet
Prior to, after, and during
Scenes where you turn up the heat

“What’s in a name?” you inquire.
“Nothing at all,” we reply.
Just fan the flames of desire
Then have the good grace to die.

Michael Murry, The Misfortune Teller

TheMisfortuneTeller · 09-25-2011, 07:10 AM

Actress Evangeline Lily worries that Tolkien "purists" won't like her wet-T-shirt impression of an elf-chick security guard named Itaril/Tauriel (or, whatever) who just so happens to have no place in the story that Tolkien wrote. Speaking only for my impure self, I'd say she has good cause to feel that way. I had almost forgotten her, but If she makes one more public announcement reminding me of her needless and pointless presence in The Hobbit, I may have to write another scatological poem in her dishonor. ...

http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2011...r-hobbit-role/

Galadriel55 · 09-25-2011, 07:50 AM

Quote:

But Lilly admits she is terrified Tolkien devotees won't respond well when the movie epic is released next year

She better be! Though it's not her fault. Blame PJ.

Quote:

"The Hobbit didn't include female characters at all. I can see why additional characters were needed to round out the story as an adaptation, especially female characters.

"I am very concerned that people will watch and I'll be the black mark on the film. I know how adamant the purists are and I'm one of them."

I kinda wonder if she really is, or if she's saying this just to please me... well, us, "purists". If I was asked to play a stupid hot elf-chick (not that I'd ever be

) I would refuse, unless I was up to my ears in debt and needed money that badly.

Mithalwen · 09-25-2011, 12:38 PM

Well it depends what her role is. If it just happens that there is a raft elf who happens to be a female named Tauriel I doubt many will be so bothered as if she in some way befriends Frodo and aids him liberate the dwarves. Which I fear since I don't htinkI have seen casting for the chief Gaoler and Galion.

Galadriel55 · 09-25-2011, 01:38 PM

But, you see, the point is that there shouldn't be a female rafter. What would a female do on the raft? They have better things to do. There must be some purpose for such a character. And that could be no other than playing the hot-elf-chick-princess-Xena.

Her role has to be very important, otherwise why would they go through all the trouble with Ronan, and then with Lily? Obviously it's not just a random rafter (that is both uncanonical and pointless)...

Mithalwen · 09-26-2011, 02:11 AM

Not necessarily so. Obviously the silvan elves in HoME Tolkien says that among the Eldar while some tasks tended to be carried out by neri or nissi there was no absolute bar (save I think Lembas) and women only fought in defence... it amuses me that food cooking was largely the province of male elves which leads me to suspect that barbecue featured heavily and hope that they did their own washing up....

TheMisfortuneTeller · 10-04-2011, 02:48 PM

http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2011...iel-in-elvish/

She just won't shut up. She keeps telling anyone who will listen that, yes, she really does have a part in this movie -- no matter how lame and unnecessary -- and also that she gets to practice all sorts of language and stuff for whatever she gets to do in a movie that doesn't require her presence.

Itaril/Tauriel
Please shut your trap a spell

Elvish or English
You're just not what we would wish

OK, you got a part:
Wet T-shirt Hooters' tart

Just what The Hobbit needs:
Elf-chick that really bleeds

06-29-2011, 03:59 PM	#1
TheMisfortuneTeller Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 63	A Name by any other Name If at first you can't sell Mary Sue as "itaril," change the spelling of her name to T-a-u-r-i-e-l and try again. A Name by any other Name ... Daughter of vegetation, Child of the flowers and plants, Offspring of trite derivation, Sweetheart of movie romance, Formula role for an actor, Paid to look lovely on cue, Storywise, hardly a factor: Anything sexy will do. Show up for filming and fake it Who’s to care what you might do? Jiggle and wiggle and shake it. Strike a cute pose for the crew Try to look fierce yet alluring Try to look deadly but sweet Prior to, after, and during Scenes where you turn up the heat “What’s in a name?” you inquire. “Nothing at all,” we reply. Just fan the flames of desire Then have the good grace to die. Michael Murry, The Misfortune Teller __________________ "If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." -- Tweedledee

09-25-2011, 07:10 AM	#2
TheMisfortuneTeller Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 63	Oh, What if they don't like me? Actress Evangeline Lily worries that Tolkien "purists" won't like her wet-T-shirt impression of an elf-chick security guard named Itaril/Tauriel (or, whatever) who just so happens to have no place in the story that Tolkien wrote. Speaking only for my impure self, I'd say she has good cause to feel that way. I had almost forgotten her, but If she makes one more public announcement reminding me of her needless and pointless presence in The Hobbit, I may have to write another scatological poem in her dishonor. ... http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2011...r-hobbit-role/ __________________ "If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." -- Tweedledee

09-25-2011, 12:38 PM	#4
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,461	Well it depends what her role is. If it just happens that there is a raft elf who happens to be a female named Tauriel I doubt many will be so bothered as if she in some way befriends Frodo and aids him liberate the dwarves. Which I fear since I don't htinkI have seen casting for the chief Gaoler and Galion. __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

09-25-2011, 01:38 PM	#5
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,512	But, you see, the point is that there shouldn't be a female rafter. What would a female do on the raft? They have better things to do. There must be some purpose for such a character. And that could be no other than playing the hot-elf-chick-princess-Xena. Her role has to be very important, otherwise why would they go through all the trouble with Ronan, and then with Lily? Obviously it's not just a random rafter (that is both uncanonical and pointless)... __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

09-26-2011, 02:11 AM	#6
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,461	Not necessarily so. Obviously the silvan elves in HoME Tolkien says that among the Eldar while some tasks tended to be carried out by neri or nissi there was no absolute bar (save I think Lembas) and women only fought in defence... it amuses me that food cooking was largely the province of male elves which leads me to suspect that barbecue featured heavily and hope that they did their own washing up.... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

10-04-2011, 02:48 PM	#7
TheMisfortuneTeller Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 63	The gift that won't stop giving http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2011...iel-in-elvish/ She just won't shut up. She keeps telling anyone who will listen that, yes, she really does have a part in this movie -- no matter how lame and unnecessary -- and also that she gets to practice all sorts of language and stuff for whatever she gets to do in a movie that doesn't require her presence. Itaril/Tauriel Please shut your trap a spell Elvish or English You're just not what we would wish OK, you got a part: Wet T-shirt Hooters' tart Just what The Hobbit needs: Elf-chick that really bleeds __________________ "If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." -- Tweedledee