The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 02-20-2011, 06:56 PM

It's time for a news stomach!!

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Today, we have a really bad joke. Even by p&a standards...

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

sorry it's a bit late, people. I've been distracted by a strange wizard who keeps eating my chair. I wish he'd stop, but he says he can't or he'll turn into a tadpole again.

the phantom · 02-21-2011, 11:45 AM

We have a brand new "Dear Downer" today! Thank you to everyone who sent in their questions to be answered by this week's guest columnist- Legate!
(Our guest columnist for some reason wanted us to be sure and mention that Lommy is visiting him currently.)

**********************
**********************

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Legate, with Lommy visiting

Eomer writes- Do you have any tips for playing the bagpipes?
Legate answers- Glad to HELP a friend. I AM an excellent player, BEING a graduate of the Scottish National Conservatory. First, be sure the bag is HELD firmly but gently AGAINST your side. Second, consider, “Is MY chanter properly attached?” But then none of that matters if your instrument isn’t top quality. I have world class pipes myself. Should I die I’ll be sure and leave them to you in my WILL.

Kath writes- You and Lommy are so cute together! How long do you see it lasting?
Legate answers- Ha ha, yes, we’re quite the pair. She's looking over my shoulder as I answer these as a matter of fact. As far as us lasting- I’m imagine it will last until the end of my life, just as I am sure that all of you reading this will be certain to look over all of my answers extremely carefully, looking for hidden meaning and such.

Phantom writes- I was wondering if you had any more pudding jokes. That one Greenie told me was just hysterical.
Legate answers- Ah, actually, I think I might have one for you. One time there was a Czech pudding that went over to visit a Finnish éclair intending to inform her that their flavors just didn’t blend very well, but the éclair got mad and captured the pudding and insisted that given enough time he’d see dessert her way. Funny eh? Do you get the joke? Pleeeeease say that you get it!

02-20-2011, 06:56 PM	#1
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	It's time for a news stomach!! And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian. Today, we have a really bad joke. Even by p&a standards... Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING sorry it's a bit late, people. I've been distracted by a strange wizard who keeps eating my chair. I wish he'd stop, but he says he can't or he'll turn into a tadpole again. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

02-21-2011, 11:45 AM	#2
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	We have a brand new "Dear Downer" today! Thank you to everyone who sent in their questions to be answered by this week's guest columnist- Legate! (Our guest columnist for some reason wanted us to be sure and mention that Lommy is visiting him currently.) ******************** ****************** DEAR DOWNER THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Legate, with Lommy visiting Eomer writes- Do you have any tips for playing the bagpipes? Legate answers- Glad to HELP a friend. I AM an excellent player, BEING a graduate of the Scottish National Conservatory. First, be sure the bag is HELD firmly but gently AGAINST your side. Second, consider, “Is MY chanter properly attached?” But then none of that matters if your instrument isn’t top quality. I have world class pipes myself. Should I die I’ll be sure and leave them to you in my WILL. Kath writes- You and Lommy are so cute together! How long do you see it lasting? Legate answers- Ha ha, yes, we’re quite the pair. She's looking over my shoulder as I answer these as a matter of fact. As far as us lasting- I’m imagine it will last until the end of my life, just as I am sure that all of you reading this will be certain to look over all of my answers extremely carefully, looking for hidden meaning and such. Phantom writes- I was wondering if you had any more pudding jokes. That one Greenie told me was just hysterical. Legate answers- Ah, actually, I think I might have one for you. One time there was a Czech pudding that went over to visit a Finnish éclair intending to inform her that their flavors just didn’t blend very well, but the éclair got mad and captured the pudding and insisted that given enough time he’d see dessert her way. Funny eh? Do you get the joke? Pleeeeease say that you get it! __________________ the phantom** has posted. This thread is now important.