Five Word Story - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

narfforc · 07-14-2009, 12:30 PM

............droppings left by oversized eagles........

Tuor in Gondolin · 07-14-2009, 01:06 PM

(Edited story so far)

It was a dark and dismal pit for the orcs into which they dragged Smeagol
and left. After a few harsh words to their prisoner they started fighting each other,
which happened to include several nazgul who wanted Smeagol to go to Valinor
to retrieve some strange coloured weed which the residents had begun to
wrap in liquorice paper and relish with great pleasure by smoking pipes provided by Olorin.

The fact is that it distracted the Vala as Gollum peeped over the rim of
Yavanna's large iron cooking pot which contained many brightly coloured strange weeds, which Gollum stole and used for many sinister reasons, but mainly for halitosis (to escape from the nazgul) which had been following him by scent until stepped on by Treebeard who decided that he didn't think nazgul should torture Smeagol with feathers tickling his feet and many other unbearable tortures such as frying his fish and listening to Ioreth chat.

There should be another way to torture Smeagol such as diction tutor to stone trolls, dressing him up in skirts, and reading him a story about a man named Jed. Jed was, of course, a poor mountaineer man from Gondor who barely kept his family fed.

Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.
...The guano made Jed rich...

mormegil · 07-14-2009, 01:14 PM

"but riches had their price"

narfforc · 07-14-2009, 02:06 PM

.........£5 a bag for manure.........

Tuor in Gondolin · 07-14-2009, 02:51 PM

Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.

The guano made Jed rich. But riches had their price, £5 a bag for guano.
...Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien...

narfforc · 07-14-2009, 11:53 PM

..........with his bags of money!......

(sorry)

Tuor in Gondolin · 07-15-2009, 07:47 AM

Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles.

The guano made Jed rich. But riches had their price, £5 a bag for guano.
Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien with his bags
...while eschewing any scatalogical humor...

Also, please note the comment I made at the beginning of this thread

Quote:

The primary conceptual factors were 1) to have a story that might develop along a steady storyline and 2) avoid (a personal proclivity here) a tendency towards overuse of "bathroom humor" and story tangents. In pursuit of objective "2" I'd like to employ an occasional moderating editorial voice by myself to edit addditions to the story (if okay with moderators).

I hope no one takes offense, certainly there are various views on humor, but I find an overuse of body humor tiresome, and rather
un-Tolkien/Middle-earthish. Just a personal attittude, but there you are.

Thanks.

07-14-2009, 12:30 PM	#1
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	............droppings left by oversized eagles........ __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

07-14-2009, 01:06 PM	#2
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	(Edited story so far) It was a dark and dismal pit for the orcs into which they dragged Smeagol and left. After a few harsh words to their prisoner they started fighting each other, which happened to include several nazgul who wanted Smeagol to go to Valinor to retrieve some strange coloured weed which the residents had begun to wrap in liquorice paper and relish with great pleasure by smoking pipes provided by Olorin. The fact is that it distracted the Vala as Gollum peeped over the rim of Yavanna's large iron cooking pot which contained many brightly coloured strange weeds, which Gollum stole and used for many sinister reasons, but mainly for halitosis (to escape from the nazgul) which had been following him by scent until stepped on by Treebeard who decided that he didn't think nazgul should torture Smeagol with feathers tickling his feet and many other unbearable tortures such as frying his fish and listening to Ioreth chat. There should be another way to torture Smeagol such as diction tutor to stone trolls, dressing him up in skirts, and reading him a story about a man named Jed. Jed was, of course, a poor mountaineer man from Gondor who barely kept his family fed. Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles. ...The guano made Jed rich... __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

07-14-2009, 01:14 PM	#3
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,651	"but riches had their price" __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

07-14-2009, 02:06 PM	#4
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	.........£5 a bag for manure......... __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

07-14-2009, 02:51 PM	#5
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Jed desired to be a troll because he wanted to kill tricksey wizardses who turn trolls into oversized garden gnomes for the elvish gardens in Lorien, which were already full of droppings left by oversized eagles. The guano made Jed rich. But riches had their price, £5 a bag for guano. ...Millionaire Jed moved to Lorien... __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

07-14-2009, 11:53 PM	#6
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	..........with his bags of money!...... (sorry) __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. Last edited by narfforc; 07-15-2009 at 08:31 AM.