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| Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page | 
|  03-04-2008, 12:25 PM | #1 | 
| Newly Deceased Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Barad-Dur, hurling something at those blasted, noisy orcs.... 
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				Funny Middle Earth Books
			 
			
			During yet another stultifying day at work, my friens and I came up with another odd category: Shortest, or least popular, books in the realm of Arda: For Example: Denethor's guide to parenting. Gollum's grammar guide. Any suggestions? | 
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|  03-04-2008, 02:31 PM | #2 | 
| Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth 
					Posts: 3,489
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			Decluttering your Hobbit Hole Family Camping in the Old Forest Are YOU Entitled to Immortality? A Legal Guide for Half-Elves Rosie Cotton's Birth Control Encyclopedia 101 Ways to Eat a Silmaril Melkor's Introduction to Music Theory | 
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|  03-05-2008, 02:43 PM | #3 | 
| Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) 
					Posts: 7,500
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			Fun thread idea, Tar-Elara! How about: Bilbo and Frodo's Marriage Manual Arwen's Sewing Primer Ioreth's "Sound of Silence" Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" Saruman's Construction Manual for Spiky Wheels 
				__________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' | 
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|  03-11-2008, 01:57 AM | #4 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
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			The Dwarven Book of Dating. The Hobbit Book of Dieting. The Balrog Book of Flight. Identity Crisis by Gothmog of Minas Morgul. Die Young Stay Pretty by Queen Arwen. Memoirs of an Invisible Man by Isildur. Fly Fishing by Deagol. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  03-12-2008, 01:52 AM | #5 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			Tree Husbandry by The Ent-wives.
		 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  03-12-2008, 02:11 AM | #6 | 
| Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla 
					Posts: 5,912
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			- The Big Book of Entish abbreviations - Dealing with depression by Turin Turambar - Morgoth's book of Practical Jokes 
				__________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... | 
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|  03-12-2008, 07:17 AM | #7 | 
| Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The cave under the Misty Mountains.  Just take a wrong turn in the goblin's tunnels. 
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			- Dude, where's my Ring? By Sauroman - Gollum's Guide to Eating Healthy - 101 Things To Do With Taters. By Sam - The Only Way To Eat a Brace Of Coneys. By Sam 
				__________________ Leave now, and never come back! Gollum, Gollum! See? You made him mad. | 
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|  03-12-2008, 08:17 AM | #8 | 
| Wisest of the Noldor | 
			
			*cough* Who is this "Sauroman"?
		 
				__________________ "Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo. | 
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|  03-12-2008, 10:12 AM | #9 | 
| Newly Deceased Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Barad-Dur, hurling something at those blasted, noisy orcs.... 
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			Yea! These book suggestions are v. amusing. I have thought of some more as well... -The Art of Honesty by Sauron -The Orc Poetry Collection 
				__________________ "Yes, dear, I'll keep an eye out for your ring....." | 
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|  03-12-2008, 11:15 AM | #10 | 
| Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The cave under the Misty Mountains.  Just take a wrong turn in the goblin's tunnels. 
					Posts: 34
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			I know I misspealled Saruman.  Kwit korecting mi speling.
		 
				__________________ Leave now, and never come back! Gollum, Gollum! See? You made him mad. | 
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|  03-13-2008, 02:16 AM | #11 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			Swimming for Beginners by Drogo Baggins. Gollums Big Book of Sushi by Smeagol. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. Last edited by narfforc; 03-13-2008 at 02:21 AM. | 
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|  03-13-2008, 02:48 PM | #12 | 
| A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed 
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			Eowyn's Book of Household Management
		 
				__________________ Gordon's alive! | 
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|  03-14-2008, 02:45 AM | #13 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			How to be a Firefighter by Denethor. How to bleach your clothes White by Gandalf the Once-Grey. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  04-14-2009, 02:01 AM | #14 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			Health and Safety Practises for Swordsmen by Turin. Long Jump Techniques by Saeros of Doriath. Naturism by Bjorn the Bare.........(sorry). Guitar Playing by Maedhros. How to spot a Fraudster by Celebrimbor. How to make a Fool of People by Annatar. Patience by Aule. Hobbit Stew and Dumplings by Grishnakh. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  04-14-2009, 02:45 AM | #15 | 
| Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla 
					Posts: 5,912
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			How to read books by Pereguin Took Fashion tips for Pentioners by Saruman of Many Colours Baths and how to avoid them by Aragorn 
				__________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... | 
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|  04-14-2009, 03:56 AM | #16 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			I'm Nobody's Child by Tom Bombadil. What War? by Radagast the Brown. Cracking Good Food by Old Man Willow. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  04-14-2009, 05:14 AM | #17 | 
| Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits 
					Posts: 2,515
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			The Whitewater Rafting Guide by Boromir You're Never Alone With a Schizophrenic by Smeagol Orcs with Forks: A Modern Guide to Table Etiquette by Gorbag, Shagrat, et al. English Pronunciation and Grammar by Hamfast Gamgee Treatment of Conjuctivitis, Blepharitis and Red Eye Symptoms by Sauron 
				__________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. | 
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|  04-14-2009, 08:22 AM | #18 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The Deepest Forges of Ered Luin 
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			How to Win Friends and Influence People by Azog Basic Spelunking by Smaug How YOU can Overcome OCD by Fëanor A Beginner's Guide to Field Hygiene by Gollum Finding Harmony in Your Consanguineous Marriage by Ar-Pharazôn 
				__________________ Even as fog continues to lie in the valleys, so does ancient sin cling to the low places, the depression in the world consciousness. | 
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|  05-05-2009, 08:12 PM | #19 | 
| Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America 
					Posts: 2,230
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			How about: How to Get Over Stolen Property by Feanor 
				__________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.  | 
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|  05-05-2009, 08:41 PM | #20 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan | 
			
			A Hobbits' Guide to Safe Boating By Bungo and Belladonna Baggins Zen and the Art of Meara Maintenance By Eorl A Stone Troll's Guide to Fine Dining By William Huggins, Esq. 
				__________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.' | 
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|  05-06-2009, 02:32 AM | #22 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			The Dangerous Book for Girls by The Witch-king of Angmar.
		 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-06-2009, 06:56 AM | #23 | |
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan | Quote: 
 The Dangerous Book For Hobbits By Ted Sandyman. 
				__________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.' | |
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|  05-06-2009, 07:23 AM | #24 | 
| Shade of Carn Dűm |   
			
			"Abandonned wifes of Arda,unite!'' dy Erendis ''The complete guide for wood-camping'' BY Gildor Inglorion ''Perfect nails and other beauty tips " by Saruman the White "Maskarah?Not for me!'' by the Great Eye ''The high art of diplomacy'' by the mouth of Sauron "Bungee jumping for starters'' by Nienor/Niniel 
				__________________ Ah,it's good to be home again! | 
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|  05-06-2009, 06:41 PM | #25 | 
| Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America 
					Posts: 2,230
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			How To Avoid Getting Killed By Your Friends by Beleg Strongbow How to Be A Good Friend by Beleg Strongbow How To Keep Healthy, Happy Hair by Smeagol 
				__________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.  | 
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|  05-11-2009, 01:22 AM | #26 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			The Cure for Memory Loss by Barliman Butterbur. How to Suck-up to The Boss by Ted Sandyman. My Life in Wrestling Spandex by Tulkas the Strong. How to pick the right Girdle by Melian. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-11-2009, 02:12 AM | #27 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: midway upon... in a forest dark 
					Posts: 975
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			Luthien's Guide to Teenage Rebellion The Bible (Manwe Version) 
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|  05-11-2009, 03:20 AM | #28 | 
| Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla 
					Posts: 5,912
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			Fighting the Napoleonic War by Boromir (if you get the reference, you deserve a prize) Keeping Brightly coloured clothing clean in a hostile, woodland area. by Tom Bombadil 
				__________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 05-11-2009 at 04:47 AM. | 
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|  05-11-2009, 04:00 AM | #29 | 
| Shade of Carn Dűm |   
			
			Are you sure it is ''Neopolionic''? "Aragorn's travel guide-complete series" Book 1:RIVENDEL AND HOLlIN >> 2:WOODEN REALM,LAKETOWN,DALE >> 3:LORIEN >> 4:RHUN >> 5:ADUIN >> 6,7:GONDOR,ROHAN >> 8:HARAND(INCLUDING BOTH NEAR AND FAR) >> 9:MORDOR >>10,11;ERIANDOR >> 12:UNIVERSE 
				__________________ Ah,it's good to be home again! | 
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|  05-11-2009, 06:39 PM | #30 | |
| Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America 
					Posts: 2,230
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 How about, How to Get Yourself Out Of The Barrow-Downs Without the Help of Tom Bombadil by Tom Bombadil and Frodo Baggins 
				__________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.  | |
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|  05-12-2009, 03:29 AM | #31 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			Bear With Me, It's a Long Story by Beorn. Swimming Lessons in Armour by Isildur. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-12-2009, 06:29 AM | #32 | 
| Shade of Carn Dűm Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Minas Morgul 
					Posts: 431
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			Are Women Human? by the Witch-King of Angmar Outwitting Fish by Gollum How Goood is Good Enough by Faramir How to Stay Fit and Healthy Indefinitely by Gandalf the Gray How to Make people Like you in 90 Seconds or Less by Saruman the White How to Steal a Dog by Luthien Tinuviel (Titles taken directly from Amazon)   | 
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|  05-12-2009, 07:07 AM | #33 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan | 
			
			Everything I Need To Know About The One Ring I Learned In Kindergarten , by Denethor 
				__________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.' | 
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|  05-12-2009, 09:01 AM | #34 | 
| Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again 
					Posts: 633
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			Get rich quick with me in Moria by Balin Bombur's Diet Tips Sexy tips to spice up your love life by Grishnakh 
				__________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering. | 
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|  05-13-2009, 12:12 AM | #35 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			The Value of Antique Silverware by Otho and Lobelia Sackville Baggins.
		 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-22-2009, 06:02 PM | #36 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			So near and yet so Far by Arathorn II.
		 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-23-2009, 10:38 AM | #37 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			Teaching Your Child To Social Climb by Huor. How to Avoid Troublesome Cousins by Tuor. 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-23-2009, 10:56 AM | #38 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth 
					Posts: 1,297
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			What Did You Do That For? by Beleg Cuthalion.
		 
				__________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. | 
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|  05-23-2009, 11:37 AM | #39 | 
| Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 
					Posts: 6,003
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			The Theory and Practice of Carding and Spinning by Shelob Rainy Day Woman by Tom Bombadil Ilúvatar's Perfect Storm by Eru Second Time Lucky by Eowyn Star Trek as Gene Roddenberry Never Imagined It by Eärendil 
				__________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. | 
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|  05-23-2009, 11:49 AM | #40 | 
| Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Something close like Shire 
					Posts: 769
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			Complete Horse Riding Manual by Gimli son of Gloin Avoiding Temptations by Peregrin "the Fool of a" Took 
				__________________ Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. | 
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