The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Morai]

I love the army of orange people, nice shading effect. Also, I continue to love the how ominous Mr. Underhill looks, like a shadow with slits for eyes.

[Morthoron]

To the editorial staff --
I must make plain my displeasure at your copyreader's inability to properly spell check your headlines, particularly when the blurb regards yours truly. In the 'Downer edition from Week #144, I noticed the following: "Rivendel elects Moth as new leader". Let's ignore the fact that the Westron variation of Imladris is spelled R-i-v-e-n-d-e-l-l, but the text in total should have read: Rivendell elects Morth as new leader". Yes, the Dark Elves have taken over Imladris from the decadent Noldorin pansies.

We of the Moriquendi have been for quite some time taken aback by the Noldor's seeming nonchalance at prostituting out their daughters to mere mortals. The whole Aragorn/Arwen debacle was the straw that broke the mûmak's back, so to speak. Add to that Galadriel playing a strumpet to a Dwarf, and one can plainly see that the Noldorin leadership is evidently a few strands short of a full head of hair, and the Moriquendi have taken action, shipping the remaining Noldorin faction to a long retirement in Valinor (where they can eternally bask in the glow of Manwe for all we care).

In conclusion, we request that your copyreader be executed post-haste for gross negligence. Torture will not be necessary, unless it eventually ends the life of said copyreader.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation,
Morthoron
Executive Officer of the Week (elected in turn, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting
by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more pressing matters relating to national and/or international referendums)
Dark Elves Revolting Against Noldorin Gratuitous Engagements
-- An Anarcho-syndicalist Commune of Rivendell