What do you assign to Mordor?

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

*hides her many rap CDs*

Alas, even fair Lalwende has succumbed to the wicked wiles of the Dark Lord!

*Prepares the crucifixes, chrisms, holy water and wooden stakes*

Now, my dear Lal, this will only hurt for a moment...

'The harmony of the Beatles compels you! The power of Zeppelin compels you! The lyricism of Dylan compels you!'

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Alas, even fair Lalwende has succumbed to the wicked wiles of the Dark Lord!

*Prepares the crucifixes, chrisms, holy water and wooden stakes*

Now, my dear Lal, this will only hurt for a moment...

'The harmony of the Beatles compels you! The power of Zeppelin compels you! The lyricism of Dylan compels you!'

Yeah but if you listen to De La Soul they have Steely Dan and Johnny Cash samples

[Lalaith]

I assign Rap music. Personally, I see no redeeming quality in the genre.

The Message.
That is all.
Dylan, on the other hand...he is my Marmite. As in, lots of people seem to like it but I just don't get it.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Yeah but if you listen to De La Soul they have Steely Dan and Johnny Cash samples

Lal, samples are what is offered by a pimply clerk with a plastic spork in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store. Samples do not constitute an actual meal, like one prepared by a master chef.

Originally Posted by Lalaith

The Message. That is all.

And the message that is imparted is...what? Pimpin' ho's and drinkin' on gin and juice (wif' mah mind on mah money and mah money on mind).

Brilliant.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. I guess the message sounds better with a droning drum machine and three notes on a keyboard repeated over and over.

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Dylan, on the other hand...he is my Marmite. As in, lots of people seem to like it but I just don't get it.

Would you like to hear the first rap song ever, and one with an actual message? Try this from the mid-1960's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAbtg9dz5P0

[Oddwen]

Very very very very audacious shoplifters. You've gone too far this time.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Very very very very audacious shoplifters. You've gone too far this time.

I was assigned in my Creative Writing class to write a short less-than-500-words work on the subject. It's found on my blog, provided on my sig, entitled Lessons. My latest attempt to produce good literature, that I assign to Mordor.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Lal, samples are what is offered by a pimply clerk with a plastic spork in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store. Samples do not constitute an actual meal, like one prepared by a master chef.

Now now. I'd lay money that you like Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, and that's full of the sneaky things

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. I guess the message sounds better with a droning drum machine and three notes on a keyboard repeated over and over.

What if the three notes and drum machine don't even have any lyrics? I had better not inflict any Nightmares On Wax or Sweet Exorcist on you

I assign trying to give directions to people over the phone when they do not know the difference between uphill and downhill.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Now now. I'd lay money that you like Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, and that's full of the sneaky things

Bah! Alright, I will back off from my previously rigid stance. But only for the holidays...in keeping with the season and all.

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

What if the three notes and drum machine don't even have any lyrics? I had better not inflict any Nightmares On Wax or Sweet Exorcist on you

I don't care for any three chord repetition, whether it be rap or rock or some esoteric Phillip Glass or John Cage composition. A guitar has an entire fretboard and a keyboard has a full set of keys. One shouldn't limit oneself to just three chords, unless you're the Kinks pre-1968.

[Lalaith]

Pimpin' ho's and drinkin' on gin and juice (wif' mah mind on mah money and mah money on mind).

Tsk. You misunderstand. I use caps for a reason. The Message, by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. One of the first, and still the best, rap songs, a searing and poetic indictment of social injustice and the poverty trap in 80s New York.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3kRuJhIVIo

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Women that just takes and takes, what more is they manipulate you to think it is you who actually want to give it away. . . I am of course talking about my hairdresser who cut of my wonderful hair.

I just wanted to look my best for The Julefrokost-season and instead I end up feeling slightly insecure because of this short short hair.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I don't care for any three chord repetition, whether it be rap or rock or some esoteric Phillip Glass or John Cage composition. A guitar has an entire fretboard and a keyboard has a full set of keys. One shouldn't limit oneself to just three chords, unless you're the Kinks pre-1968.

I'll agree with you if you're talking Status Quo (possibly one of the most cheesy, over-rated rock bands ever), but done well, being minimalist works wonders - and the end results are often not entirely different to pieces of music made involving as many notes as possible - see Atmospheres by Ligeti for an example of that!

EDIT
I've just seen what won X Factor this year and I send Simon Cowell not only to Mordor but to The Void. The cover version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah they've done is so awful, I can't even speak about it on here without cursing....

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I'll agree with you if you're talking Status Quo (possibly one of the most cheesy, over-rated rock bands ever), but done well, being minimalist works wonders - and the end results are often not entirely different to pieces of music made involving as many notes as possible - see Atmospheres by Ligeti for an example of that!

Well, conversely, I will agree that overly ornate music (pretension for pretension's sake) is as annoying as simplicity without purpose (or talent).

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

EDIT
I've just seen what won X Factor this year and I send Simon Cowell not only to Mordor but to The Void. The cover version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah they've done is so awful, I can't even speak about it on here without cursing....

How sad, particularly since the renditions by John Cale (from the movie Shrek, of all places) or Jeff Buckley are both glorious. But Simon Cowell, as musically aware as he is puported to be, is rather ignorant when it comes to musical knowledge as far as I've seen. I imagine he listened to light-weight New Wave (like Depeche Mode or Duran Duran) and Broadway show tunes as a teenager. He was the type I'd have mocked in school. What a poseur.

We could probably start a separate thread dedicated to the worst cover songs ever recorded.

I'd assign Devo's 'Satisfaction' (Keith Richards would be rolling in his grave if he were dead -- or is he?) to Mordor for starters.