Why take over Middle Earth?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I can't argue with that, Bruce. Straight from the horse's mouth, as they say.

It all comes back to the male preoccupation with size, how big your kingdom is, and whatnot.

The Freudian-inadequacy theory of war. That could work. All of those long-barrelled guns, sleek missiles, huge battleships and engines of power and destruction. Then in earlier wars, the big axes, hammers, swords and spears; not to mention the act of sliding such a weapon into the body of one's enemy and seeing the look in his eyes... "'War is an act of homo-eroticism': discuss".

Incidentally, the Norse god of war was also their god of poetry, which brings in another fascinating parallel: Calliope as the consort of Ares. [EDIT, 20 Feb 06: Actually this isn't even slightly unusual, since epic poetry is usually heavily concerned with war.]

You would rather die than give it to me...

"...Your proposal is acceptable"