If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would.... - Page 4 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Lindale · 08-14-2008, 11:48 PM

tell them they just can't come in for tea, or for coffee, or for dinner, they are just too many.

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-15-2008, 03:09 AM

I'd ask them if they thought they were paying too much for their car insureance...

OR

Say, "I'm not in at the moment; please leave a message after the beep... BEEP!"

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 08-15-2008, 01:10 PM

I'd just ask them if they'd like to go swimming, and then take them to the inlet by the mud flats and let them go out there...(and if you know anything about mud flats, you know what happens next)

Laurinquë · 08-30-2008, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glirdan

Probably run around yelling at the top of my voice. Then stop, think about it, and continue running around the house, but this time happily because I would be in a movie!!!!!

Or just send them to Alaska. Ya, let's go with the Alaska one.

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

Lindale · 08-30-2008, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

If you don't want them in Alaska send them here to the tropics, that way I might put them on a town feria and make money along the way.

Rikae · 08-30-2008, 09:17 AM

Tell my oldest daughter that, while her new group of friends is an improvement on the old one, they still aren't quite the sort I want her to associate with.

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 09-01-2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindale

If you don't want them in Alaska send them here to the tropics, that way I might put them on a town feria and make money along the way.

Well, having orcs in Alaska might not be a bad thing, just send them to Barrow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

Why not epee? Anyway, who would come to our aid? Certainly not the police!

If I found them on MY front door, I'd call the newspaper... and ask them what the 'ell they were doing at my door.

Lindale · 09-02-2008, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

If I found them on MY front door, I'd call the newspaper... and ask them what the 'ell they were doing at my door.

I'd call the newspaper and have those orcs printed on the front page.

narfforc · 09-02-2008, 01:29 PM

Open my back door and let the 200,000 elves out of my yard....

Lindale · 09-03-2008, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by narfforc

Open my back door and let the 200,000 elves out of my yard....

and when they start to kill each other, Narfforc, what do you do with the corpses?

narfforc · 09-03-2008, 12:58 PM

Put them in my waste paper bin next to the U.F.O that somehow crashed into my roof last week....

Groin Redbeard · 09-03-2008, 01:56 PM

I'd ask them if Verizon Wireless is their network!

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 09-04-2008, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

I'd ask them if Verizon Wireless is their network!

I didn't know that orcs possessed cell phones... But apparently they do.

HerenIstarion · 09-06-2008, 11:31 AM

Not exactly that many, and not exactly orks, and not exactly on my front door, but fly I did

skip spence · 09-06-2008, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

Not exactly that many, and not exactly orks, and not exactly on my front door, but fly I did

Ah, you are from Georgia right? I hope the situation over there improves and that you and your family are and remain safe!

narfforc · 09-06-2008, 09:40 PM

I second that, sad to see The Land of the Golden Fleece in such a predicament.

Laurinquë · 09-17-2008, 08:50 PM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door I would probably be delighted, I mean Orcs at the door? That means they actually exist! That Hobbits actually exist! It would be wonderful!

I would revel in the glory of that for about 5 seconds, before an Orc knocked me out fo wearing such a silly grin on my face.

Lindale · 09-18-2008, 03:27 AM

Lend them to the red-head activists back in school who always clamor for more rally people to join. Will benefit me, having gotten rid of the orcs, will benefit the activists, who don't get too much people anymore on rallies, and will benefit the orcs by having an enemy. And my, I think our darling government may actually tremble, if 200,000 orcs came rallying against it.

Mithennor · 10-13-2008, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neurion

Well, what would you do? How about it chaps?

I think I'd want to know who I ****ed off, and how I ended up in the bad end of my wildest dreams...I'd then start looking for the elves that should be in the area

Eönwë · 10-13-2008, 04:01 PM

Set myself on fire, and jump off (somehow covering the distance in seconds).

Annalaliath · 12-15-2008, 01:22 AM

I would have to try beating them to death with my wooden sword and then trying to push my grandparents out the back door and over the fence.... but they are real old so I would have to knock the fence down. We wouldn't get very far.

Morthoron · 12-15-2008, 07:12 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs at my front door, I would...

call Orkin Pest Control:
http://www.orkin.com/

Having Orcs on the premises is embarrassing (I mean, really, what would the neighbors say?), and Orc defecation is unsightly and unhealthy! So have your home sprayed biannually to eradicate those pesky Orc infestations.

Annalaliath · 12-15-2008, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morthoron

If I found 200,000 orcs at my front door, I would...

call Orkin Pest Control:
http://www.orkin.com/

Having Orcs on the premises is embarrassing (I mean, really, what would the neighbors say?), and Orc defecation is unsightly and unhealthy! So have your home sprayed biannually to eradicate those pesky Orc infestations.

Yeah, I guess we could call our pest control guys, but the problem would be the orcs themselves I don't think would like getting sprayed in the face with poison.

Meneltarmacil · 12-17-2008, 04:33 PM

200,000 orcs, huh?

Well, in that case, DANCE PARTY! It ought to be pretty fun with that many orcs involved.

Galadriel55 · 11-20-2010, 05:22 PM

Put a "closed, please come again tomorrow" sign on my door.
If that doesn't work, I'll ask them to prove that there really are 200,000 orcs there. That should give me time enough to think of something better.

Pitchwife · 11-20-2010, 07:37 PM

1) Take a photo through the window and post it on the "I see Middle-earth" thread.
2) Wonder if that's enough of them to change a light bulb.
3) Try to teach them how to play Fizzbin.

Galadriel55 · 11-20-2010, 08:51 PM

Yeah, you could ask them to change a light bulb and slip away while they're at it. One reason for Sauron's army to be so big is that he doesn't have to many light bulbs

Almesiva Moonshadow · 11-23-2010, 10:00 AM

If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would say:
"Hey guys,each of you owes me 10 dollars"

...just imagine how much money would I collect...

...LOL...naive suckers...what a greedy bastard I am...

Galadriel55 · 11-23-2010, 11:53 AM

how long do you think it would take them to count the money that they owe?

Almesiva Moonshadow · 11-25-2010, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

how long do you think it would take them to count the money that they owe?

I guess it would take them a very long time...but in the end...
...it would all pay off...

Blind Guardian · 11-26-2010, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

how long do you think it would take them to count the money that they owe?

Can they count?

Nerwen · 11-27-2010, 08:20 AM

But Almesiva, what makes you think the Orcs would pay up? They're Orcs, after all.

Almesiva Moonshadow · 11-27-2010, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerwen

But Almesiva, what makes you think the Orcs would pay up? They're Orcs, after all.

...That is a hard question indeed Nerwen...
...and I cant seem to find the right answer...damnit...

Okay,I admit...you beat me in this one...

Galadriel55 · 12-08-2010, 08:14 PM

If I found 200 000 orcs on my front door I'd send them all to hell. Or rather to Mordor? But Lothlorien may be a "better" hell for orcs...hmmm...which one would it be? I'll just say oh go to hell and leave it up to them to figure out where's their hell.

That brings up an interesting question: where would they go?
Mordor
Lothlorien
Shelob's lair
Minas Tirith/Anor
Rivendell
Doriath
Anywhere near Gandalf
Anywhere near Glorfindel
Too near a Balrog
Close to an angry Nazgul
Fangorn Forest
Haudh-en-Elleth
Fingolfin's grave
Being anywhere under sunlight (unless they are the Uruk-hai)
Many more

Bom Tombadillo · 07-10-2011, 10:10 PM

*ahem* Go out the back door into the yard, start up the lawnmower, and charge them on the lawnmower wielding bow and arrow. I'd also take a moment to start my smartphone's mp3 music player up and play "I Am The Doctor" at maximum volume - since I'm sure anybody who's heard it would agree that it is the only appropriate music for such a feat.

Alternatively, I would curl up in a ball and scream like a little girl (something I am quite adept at). Yeah, probably that.

sassyfriend · 09-10-2011, 07:31 PM

Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!

Galadriel55 · 09-10-2011, 07:37 PM

Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing.

Or,

Tell them that they are only 199, 999.

Or,

Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive.

sassyfriend · 09-10-2011, 07:47 PM

Lol!!!!! I wouldn't say I'd be right back though!!!!!!

Galadriel55 · 09-10-2011, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassyfriend

Lol!!!!! I wouldn't say I'd be right back though!!!!!!

Why not? I mean, you can say it...

Pulling a Fatty Bolger doesn't seem to be a bad idea (teaser teaser! "Books only" character!)

sassyfriend · 09-10-2011, 08:47 PM

I would sic my dog Cotton on em!

08-14-2008, 11:48 PM	#121
Lindale Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: midway upon... in a forest dark Posts: 975	tell them they just can't come in for tea, or for coffee, or for dinner, they are just too many. __________________ The heart does things for reasons Reason itself cannot comprehend. - Blaise Pascal Legal Madness.

08-15-2008, 03:09 AM	#122
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	I'd ask them if they thought they were paying too much for their car insureance... OR Say, "I'm not in at the moment; please leave a message after the beep... BEEP!" __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

08-15-2008, 01:10 PM	#123
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	I'd just ask them if they'd like to go swimming, and then take them to the inlet by the mud flats and let them go out there...(and if you know anything about mud flats, you know what happens next) __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.

09-02-2008, 01:29 PM	#129
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Open my back door and let the 200,000 elves out of my yard.... __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

09-03-2008, 12:58 PM	#131
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Put them in my waste paper bin next to the U.F.O that somehow crashed into my roof last week.... __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

08-30-2008, 09:17 AM	#126
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Tell my oldest daughter that, while her new group of friends is an improvement on the old one, they still aren't quite the sort I want her to associate with.

09-03-2008, 01:56 PM	#132
Groin Redbeard Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope! Posts: 1,635	I'd ask them if Verizon Wireless is their network! __________________ I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

09-06-2008, 11:31 AM	#134
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,244	Not exactly that many, and not exactly orks, and not exactly on my front door, but fly I did __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

09-06-2008, 09:40 PM	#136
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	I second that, sad to see The Land of the Golden Fleece in such a predicament. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

09-17-2008, 08:50 PM	#137
Laurinquë Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 347	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door I would probably be delighted, I mean Orcs at the door? That means they actually exist! That Hobbits actually exist! It would be wonderful! I would revel in the glory of that for about 5 seconds, before an Orc knocked me out fo wearing such a silly grin on my face.

09-18-2008, 03:27 AM	#138
Lindale Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: midway upon... in a forest dark Posts: 975	"Rebolusyon! Rebolusyon!" cried the orcs... Lend them to the red-head activists back in school who always clamor for more rally people to join. Will benefit me, having gotten rid of the orcs, will benefit the activists, who don't get too much people anymore on rallies, and will benefit the orcs by having an enemy. And my, I think our darling government may actually tremble, if 200,000 orcs came rallying against it. __________________ The heart does things for reasons Reason itself cannot comprehend. - Blaise Pascal Legal Madness.

10-13-2008, 04:01 PM	#140
Eönwë Flame Imperishable Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Right here Posts: 3,928	Set myself on fire, and jump off (somehow covering the distance in seconds). __________________ Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place

12-15-2008, 01:22 AM	#141
Annalaliath Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 380	I would have to try beating them to death with my wooden sword and then trying to push my grandparents out the back door and over the fence.... but they are real old so I would have to knock the fence down. We wouldn't get very far. __________________ Bloody Stumps!!!

12-15-2008, 07:12 AM	#142
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	If I found 200,000 orcs at my front door, I would... call Orkin Pest Control: http://www.orkin.com/ Having Orcs on the premises is embarrassing (I mean, really, what would the neighbors say?), and Orc defecation is unsightly and unhealthy! So have your home sprayed biannually to eradicate those pesky Orc infestations. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

12-17-2008, 04:33 PM	#144
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	200,000 orcs, huh? Well, in that case, DANCE PARTY! It ought to be pretty fun with that many orcs involved. __________________ I ♣ baby seals.

11-20-2010, 05:22 PM	#145
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,517	Put a "closed, please come again tomorrow" sign on my door. If that doesn't work, I'll ask them to prove that there really are 200,000 orcs there. That should give me time enough to think of something better. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera Last edited by Galadriel55; 11-20-2010 at 08:49 PM.

11-20-2010, 07:37 PM	#146
Pitchwife Wight of the Old Forest Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Unattended on the railway station, in the litter at the dancehall Posts: 3,329	1) Take a photo through the window and post it on the "I see Middle-earth" thread. 2) Wonder if that's enough of them to change a light bulb. 3) Try to teach them how to play Fizzbin. __________________ Und aus dem Erebos kamen viele seelen herauf der abgeschiedenen toten.- Homer, Odyssey, Canto XI

11-20-2010, 08:51 PM	#147
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,517	Yeah, you could ask them to change a light bulb and slip away while they're at it. One reason for Sauron's army to be so big is that he doesn't have to many light bulbs __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

11-23-2010, 10:00 AM	#148
Almesiva Moonshadow Animated Skeleton Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Serbia Posts: 34	If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would say: "Hey guys,each of you owes me 10 dollars" ...just imagine how much money would I collect... ...LOL...naive suckers...what a greedy bastard I am... __________________ "...Aim for the moon,if you miss,you may hit a star..." -W.Clement Stone-

11-23-2010, 11:53 AM	#149
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,517	how long do you think it would take them to count the money that they owe? __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

11-27-2010, 08:20 AM	#152
Nerwen Wisest of the Noldor Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: ˙˙˙ssɐןƃ ƃuıʞooן ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥʇ Posts: 6,694	But Almesiva, what makes you think the Orcs would pay up? They're Orcs, after all. __________________ "Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo.

12-08-2010, 08:14 PM	#154
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,517	If I found 200 000 orcs on my front door I'd send them all to hell. Or rather to Mordor? But Lothlorien may be a "better" hell for orcs...hmmm...which one would it be? I'll just say oh go to hell and leave it up to them to figure out where's their hell. That brings up an interesting question: where would they go? Mordor Lothlorien Shelob's lair Minas Tirith/Anor Rivendell Doriath Anywhere near Gandalf Anywhere near Glorfindel Too near a Balrog Close to an angry Nazgul Fangorn Forest Haudh-en-Elleth Fingolfin's grave Being anywhere under sunlight (unless they are the Uruk-hai) Many more __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

07-10-2011, 10:10 PM	#155
Bom Tombadillo Wight Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Behind you . . . . BOO! Posts: 222	ahem Go out the back door into the yard, start up the lawnmower, and charge them on the lawnmower wielding bow and arrow. I'd also take a moment to start my smartphone's mp3 music player up and play "I Am The Doctor" at maximum volume - since I'm sure anybody who's heard it would agree that it is the only appropriate music for such a feat. Alternatively, I would curl up in a ball and scream like a little girl (something I am quite adept at). Yeah, probably that. __________________ Every human should have a cat or two in their care, to teach them the meaning of the word, and to correct them. Phenris Dorph Last edited by Bom Tombadillo; 07-10-2011 at 10:15 PM.

09-10-2011, 07:31 PM	#156
sassyfriend Wight Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 165	Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!

09-10-2011, 07:37 PM	#157
Galadriel55 Blossom of Dwimordene Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: The realm of forgotten words Posts: 10,517	Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing. Or, Tell them that they are only 199, 999. Or, Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive. __________________ You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

09-10-2011, 07:47 PM	#158
sassyfriend Wight Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 165	Lol!!!!! I wouldn't say I'd be right back though!!!!!!

09-10-2011, 08:47 PM	#160
sassyfriend Wight Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 165	I would sic my dog Cotton on em!