A fascinating insider's interview

[Lalwendë]

So the Tolkiens had an au pair!

You get the impression there was a little friction between mother and her helper, with the talking in Icelandic banned, and the lack of days out permitted. I wonder if being financially restricted caused them to be a bit frugal with the entertaining too? That part about the one cake reminded me of Bilbo's flapping at the start of The Hobbit.

[Lalaith]

I think it's all very sad though....the dresses never worn, the piano never played.

[Rumil]

My word,

what a find Lalaith! The psychologists would have a field day!

A few thoughts off the top of my head.

Social position in those days often brought insecurity with it, doubly so in a place such as Oxford I should imagine. Was Edith perhaps frightened in a way of 'letting down' her husband with his highly prestigious position as Professor? No doubt the dons were a difficult bunch to interact with socially, even for a respectable married woman. Seems very sad as Lalaith says, but 30s Britain was class-concious to an extreme, most intimidating no doubt.

Still there are worrying tones of Lobelia.

I love the Prof's colourful waistcoats! I hope he replaced the brass buttons with big gold ones like Bilbo's after the books became successful.

I wonder if Adda was stereotypically Icelandic - blonde hair, blue eyes etc, no wonder Edith kept a close eye! Was Adda proto-Eowyn perhaps??

[Lalaith]

Judging from the family snaps, Adda was quite pleasant-looking but not a stunner - short darkish bob rather than blonde tresses...

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Judging from the family snaps, Adda was quite pleasant-looking but not a stunner - short darkish bob rather than blonde tresses...

More of a Bjork type then?

I'm wondering why the piano was never touched. Because the Prof wanted quiet in order to work or because Edith herself didn't want to play it? As for the wardrobes full of frocks, I can understand that, she was probably a hoarder. Though not going to social functions suggests she had a big lack of self confidence - something you can appreciate given the high level of intelligence people might have displayed in Tolkien's social circle, it might have been very intimidating trying to make chit chat with professors and their brilliant wives!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Fascinating indeed! Thanks very much, Lalaith, for sharing this with us. I too am wondering why Edith didn't play piano at that time; perhaps she needed all her energy for a household with four children and little money. If I remember rightly from the biography, she did play again later in life.

Carpenter's biography does support the impression that Edith was uncertain in her position and suggests that she compensated by imposing strict rules within the family. She apparently never felt comfortable in academic society.

[Lalaith]

Edith was uncertain in her position and suggests that she compensated by imposing strict rules within the family

That is definitely the impression given by Adda. Poor old Professor, sleeping in the spare room after making too free with the port at college dinners....the old nanny's theory is also interesting. She (Mrs Gro the nanny) said that Tolkien's Catholic guardians did not feel Edith was good enough for him and that probably didn't help.

The piano...again, the impression given is definitely that Edith didn't *want* to play, not that she was discouraged to. I had a few theories...perhaps post-natal depression? The comment Adda makes about Edith spending a lot of time upstairs during the day, perhaps lying down, made me wonder...
Adda is of course coming to the household from the egalitarian social structure of Iceland, so the rigid class system of Oxford really baffled and surprised her. She also came from a society where people worked very hard, so she would not have been used to the idea of ladies of leisure...she (Adda) looked after the children, and the cleaning lady came every day, she says Edith did some cooking and dressed and bathed Priscilla in the mornings but that was about it.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

I think it's all very sad though....the dresses never worn, the piano never played.

typically Victorian-English, a tropical girl thinks. a bit Jane Eyre-ish, on the reverse. keep those feelings inside until you're sure there's nobody who would see you cry or something.

But then didn't society at that time encourage ladies of class to know how to play piano and play it for guests, family affairs, or just for recreation?

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Lindale

typically Victorian-English, a tropical girl thinks. a bit Jane Eyre-ish, on the reverse. keep those feelings inside until you're sure there's nobody who would see you cry or something.

But then didn't society at that time encourage ladies of class to know how to play piano and play it for guests, family affairs, or just for recreation?

Unfortunately Edith was brought up in a world where showing your emotion wasn't really done... and while ladies were expected to be accomplished and learn an instrument to provide entertainment in the days when if you wanted music you ahd to play it. However it seems that Edith had a talent beyond the competence needed for a sing a long or whatever. There is a world of difference between someone who can amuse their family and themselves (such as my mother playing nursery rhymes and old songs for me as a child) and a concert standard executant such as my great aunt and potentially Edith who would be no more fulfil their talent by playing for their family than a great chef would be by boiling an egg. Sadly the musical talent skipped me - I have done some choral singing but I don't have a "voice" alas, but have friends who are professional and it is a different league.

The practice is not a always pleasure for a casual listener oir even an interested one. It can be hours of repetition of a single phrase in the room with the best acoustics - not really practical with an academic husband and four small children. And why bother if you aren't going to perform.

[Lush]

Thanks for this, Lalaith. It's so intimate. It scares me how much I can identify with the Edith portrayed here.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Unfortunately Edith was brought up in a world where showing your emotion wasn't really done... and while ladies were expected to be accomplished and learn an instrument to provide entertainment in the days when if you wanted music you ahd to play it. However it seems that Edith had a talent beyond the competence needed for a sing a long or whatever. There is a world of difference between someone who can amuse their family and themselves (such as my mother playing nursery rhymes and old songs for me as a child) and a concert standard executant such as my great aunt and potentially Edith who would be no more fulfil their talent by playing for their family than a great chef would be by boiling an egg. Sadly the musical talent skipped me - I have done some choral singing but I don't have a "voice" alas, but have friends who are professional and it is a different league.

The practice is not a always pleasure for a casual listener oir even an interested one. It can be hours of repetition of a single phrase in the room with the best acoustics - not really practical with an academic husband and four small children. And why bother if you aren't going to perform.

The thought did cross my mind that the reason she didn't bother with the piano much might have been that they had bought a Wireless

[Lalaith]

My own dear mother was a martyr indeed

This quote sent a chill into my heart on poor Edith's behalf. A dead saintly mother who died while the son had not yet reached the rational seperation stage...what wife could compete?

[Maerbenn]

Lalaith: Where and when was the article published?