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08-12-2008, 01:01 PM
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#1081 |
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Doubting Dwimmerlaik
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Heaven's basement
Posts: 2,466
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Sir Hamilton Beach-Bundt,
Your 'Letter to the Editor' has me steamed, and note that I'm stewing over and brewing up an appropriate response. All of this brouhaha over banned kettles is overdone, and your whining about the 'little flambé' is obviously half-baked, hard-boiled and over-toasted.  Sincerely, - alatar
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There is naught that you can do, other than to resist, with hope or without it.
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08-12-2008, 02:49 PM
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#1082 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,515
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To: Mr. Al Atar, esq.
From: Sir Hamilton Beach-Bundt VC, BC, KG, OBE, LOL Date: XII August, MMVIII Re: Your impertinence Dear Sir: In reply to your reply regarding my editorial reply to the article "Kettle Experiment Has Disastrous Results", I can only pan your observations and equate your simmering anger to your time in the stir. It is quite likely you haven't blended well with the prison population, as it is evident that even in such a roiling mixing bowl of pot-heads, burn-outs and small-fry criminals, you are in hot water. Your retorts are strained and your pronouncements parboiled -- mere re-hashed pablum -- and grist for the mill of scalding invective. Although the wheels of justice grind slowly, eventually your goose shall be cooked. But if having your feet held to the fire is not your cup of tea, if such a roasting causes you to blanche, then atone for your criminality or you shall be toast. Perhaps by pleading guilty in short-order, justice will have mercy on you. After all, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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08-13-2008, 11:24 AM
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#1083 |
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Doubting Dwimmerlaik
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Heaven's basement
Posts: 2,466
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Sir Hamilton Beach-Bundt,
Why you continually grind away at this froth is to me, well, just nuts. Maybe we need to peel away what lies beneath your thin-skin to see why you are making such a feast from such dredging. What be my crime? Without science, and my experimentation, we will never know if the kettle can ever truly call the pot blackened or otherwise. And though you seem to coddle visions of me battered and beatened while on ice, I must assure you that I've already scrambled far from the pound, whisking away to start cobbling together yet another tincture in a teapot. In the future, you may want to temper your gristing. - alatar, on the lamb
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There is naught that you can do, other than to resist, with hope or without it.
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08-13-2008, 07:51 PM
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#1084 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,515
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To: Mr. Al Atar, esq.
From: Sir Hamilton Beach-Bundt VC, BC, KG, OBE, FTW Date: XIII August, MMVIII Re: Your continued impertinence Dear Sir: My, you are saucy! It is a fine kettle of fish when one is subject to the foaming blather of a greasy convict, make no bones about it! But I am not daunted, and can dish it out as well as take it. Stew in your fermenting juices, if you wish, but have a care not to disembogue the congealed offal of your tepid intellect against one of your butters...I mean betters. You, sir, are at a fork in the road, and you are running out of tine.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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08-14-2008, 02:54 AM
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#1085 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: As with the flygja
Posts: 1,403
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Quote:
 ~ devilry advocating Ka
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
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08-14-2008, 08:46 AM
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#1086 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Well, you'll probably be wanting your next dose of Phantom and Alien rubbish, won't you? No? Tough! Here it is anyway!
 Episode 006 Episode 005 Episode 004 Episode 003 Episode 002 Episode 001 Who knows what will happen next? Apart from me?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-14-2008, 05:03 PM
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#1087 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Hmm... this new character looks pretty threatening. Does he have a name?
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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08-14-2008, 05:12 PM
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#1088 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
He first appeared in EPISODE 12. He was in the 100th episode. It's Morsul the Dark! The joke with him is that he has a bizarre vendetta against The Phantom which is NEVER EXPLAINED and probably never will be. I suspect Phantom ate his sandwich once... But do look out for new characters. Very few of them are insignificant to the plot. Even old Gross the Boss may have his day.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 08-15-2008 at 06:29 AM. |
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08-15-2008, 01:00 PM
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#1089 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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I like the way that The Phantom doesn't even notice him!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-15-2008, 01:31 PM
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#1090 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Quote:
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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08-15-2008, 01:38 PM
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#1091 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-16-2008, 05:02 PM
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#1092 |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Just in time for the eleventyfirst!
This just in, happy 100th issue to the Downer! Special Correspondent Oddwen Floddball gets her assigned special correspondence in *cough* on time!
In 2004, Tolkien fans were pleased to hear that a formerly undiscovered culture had been discovered in Indonesia, and that they were being called 'Hobbits'. So inspired was one fan, that she went digging in her own North American backyard... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJpeKtHu6Q4 Starring Oddwen and Oliphaunts_Rule.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
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08-17-2008, 05:01 PM
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#1093 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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An Eleventy First Downer! Phew!
To celebrate this most unusual of occurrences, may I present the first ever Downer with the main headline written by someone else? Yes? Good. When Legate, in a video, commented on the fact that there may be a Downer article about his antics, I didn't want to oblige. However, the phantom did...  The continuing story of The Phantom and Alien... continues! This is the first of a two parter...  Episode 007 Episode 006 Episode 005 Episode 004 Episode 003 Episode 002 Episode 001
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-17-2008, 05:41 PM
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#1094 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,515
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
To like teh dude who owns the paper or whatever: Ummm...I was, like, reading your paper (as if!), and I, like, read where you were saying stuff, like, about having everyone talking foreign and stuff. And I said ummm, like, WHOA! It took me years to like speak like normal, you know? And like, I aint got time to start speaking like some Englishy-type person. Where are they from anyway? And then my GF (ummm...not like I'm lesbo or something, she's like a good friend, you know?), and you know what she said? She said, like, British stuff is just like American speaking only it sounds funny, and I said, like, whatever, and she said whatever back, and then we watched this dorky Britishy movie about little guys called habits, and all the guys in the movie had like beards and swords and wore dresses or robes or something, and they had this big eye ball, like, shoved on top of a tower (which I guess is, like, how they get cell phone service, or whatever) and my GF (just a friend, K?) said that all the dudes in England wore dresses and stuff, cos her uncle is from Scotsdale or Scotlin or something and thats just like England 'cept they talk even weirder. And I said no way! and she said way! So I guess it's true. But that Leggo-my-eggo guy in the movie was, like, pretty hot, and he wasnt wearing a dress so he's, like, awright. Anyways, why don't you guys like speak American, cos I have to, like, go shopping and stuff, so I got no time to, like, learn and stuff, KK? BRB AFK, Tiffani Blatherskite LA USA
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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08-17-2008, 06:06 PM
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#1095 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Very entertaining cover story, Hookbill, I couldn't stop laughing at that penguin remark!
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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08-18-2008, 02:14 AM
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#1096 |
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Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Hookbill - I loved the mini-heads.
tp - the article was hilarious.
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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08-18-2008, 02:46 AM
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#1097 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-18-2008, 09:59 AM
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#1098 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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I was waiting for this the whole week!
I want to have a British accent and get rid of this horrid American one! I should've taken Oddwen's class!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-18-2008, 10:13 AM
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#1099 | |
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Shady She-Penguin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 8,093
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Quote:
*runs away before tp comes*
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Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris
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08-18-2008, 10:18 AM
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#1100 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-18-2008, 10:19 AM
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#1101 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Quote:
 )I just noticed that the Downer has me shaving my face away. It's a little late reporting it, I did that LAST week. My face has grown back since then.
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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08-18-2008, 10:29 AM
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#1102 | ||
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
Quote:
Or are you one of those people who think that 'British' means 'Stereotypical English bloke'? I grieve for the world, some times. In other News... For all you Oxonmooters... Work on the Special paper has begun! It will probably be printed on A3 sized paper and consist of; Front Page, two inside pages and one back page. There may even by a special Phantom and Alien there too. So, if you're heading to the moot, don't be surprised if I shove one of these in your face and, while you're distracted, steal your shoes. At the moment I'm planning on bringing about 6, maybe 7. I can't seem to get a definite figure on the number of Wights attending, but I'd rather take too many than not enough.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-18-2008, 10:39 AM
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#1103 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-18-2008, 11:29 AM
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#1104 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Quote:
 , sounds a lot nicer (probably because it's more rugged) than English.
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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08-18-2008, 12:24 PM
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#1105 | |
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Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,461
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Quote:
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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08-19-2008, 01:11 PM
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#1106 |
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Woman of Secret Shadow
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: in hollow halls beneath the fells
Posts: 4,511
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So typical of phantom to ask me out and then call the reporters...
 That guy is so full of himself. And I always knew that Legate was up to no good!
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He bit me, and I was not gentle. |
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08-19-2008, 01:26 PM
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#1107 | |
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Flame of the Ainulindalë
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Wearing rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves in a field behaving as the wind behaves
Posts: 9,308
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Quote:
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Upon the hearth the fire is red Beneath the roof there is a bed; But not yet weary are our feet... |
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08-19-2008, 06:50 PM
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#1108 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
And finally Legate's evil plan is uncovered... Although I still haven't figured out what that is though...
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-19-2008, 09:29 PM
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#1109 | |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,145
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Quote:
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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08-19-2008, 09:42 PM
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#1110 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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Faking an accent is a worthwhile skill. My buds and I have done it before to get better service at stores and restaurants.
And what's wrong with calling the reporters, Agan? You should be flattered that I'm proud to have the story reported.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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08-19-2008, 09:52 PM
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#1111 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
And I've tried faking an accent before, it doesn't work out very well... Maybe I could take Oddwen's nice lessons!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-19-2008, 09:55 PM
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#1112 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
Can I just put it on Hookbill's Barrow-Card?
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-19-2008, 10:04 PM
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#1113 |
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Beloved Shadow
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Stadium
Posts: 5,971
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English, Scottish, German, Russian, and Czech.
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the phantom has posted.
This thread is now important. |
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08-20-2008, 07:16 AM
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#1114 | |
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Woman of Secret Shadow
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: in hollow halls beneath the fells
Posts: 4,511
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Quote:
TGEW, I could teach you to speak in a Finnish accent for free.
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He bit me, and I was not gentle. |
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08-20-2008, 07:28 AM
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#1115 | |
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Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
Posts: 3,928
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Quote:
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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08-20-2008, 05:00 PM
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#1116 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Episode 9
Okay, it's Thursday... Apparently. So here's your second dose of Phalian goodness. Warning: may damage your health.
 Episode 008 Episode 007 Episode 006 Episode 005 Episode 004 Episode 003 Episode 002 Episode 001 Have we heard of a fish man before?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-20-2008, 05:15 PM
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#1117 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Hmmm... I wonder which movie Alien saw?
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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08-20-2008, 05:42 PM
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#1118 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Quote:
As for Alien, he should make sure the popcorn has extra butter, melted from a cube in the microwave (extremely messy but delicious.)
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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08-21-2008, 11:31 PM
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#1119 | |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 347
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Quote:
The attempted murder story was brilliant, but I think the next breaking story should feature a gang of eels running amok in Rune's Quality Beef. |
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08-22-2008, 08:34 AM
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#1120 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Why don't you write an article, Lauri? If I can, so can you.
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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Linear Mode
