The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Morthoron · 06-29-2008, 09:51 PM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Mortals:

I believe that your ignominious article 'Gnomes Demand To Be Counted Among The Noldor' should be gnominated as the worst piece of propaganda ever gnown. I am sure this type of accusation is gnothing gnu to you, but I have a gnawing suspicion (based on the article's gnauseously gnuanced gnomenclature) that this report was spread by the Order of Gnomonically Respectable Elves (OGRE), a gnomadic group of Gnomes under the gnominal leadership of the Gnoldor...errr, excuse me, Noldor. Under the gnom de plume OGRE, this fallacious faction of gnonconformist Gnomes has long sought linkage with the Noldor (and received agnonymous subsidization from them).

We at the Affiliated Brethren Counter-Demanding an Elf-Free Gnomic Homeland (ABCDEFGH) want nothing to do with the gnaughty, haughty Noldor; however, please don't confuse us with the Hallowed Gnomes Fighting Elvish Domination: Currently, Before and After (HGFEDCBA), as they are merely a splinter group with gnumerous policy flaws and a horrid acronym. The ABCDEFGH remains commited to fighting Noldorin domination with gnathic tenacity, gnashing clenched teeth against the oppression and kin-strife gnarling elvish history in a gnumber of gnasty gnots.

Gnotably yours,
Gnonesuch the Gnome
Gnotary of the ABCDEFGH

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 06-29-2008, 10:08 PM

I would rather like one of those multicoloured coats! I think that I'll go buy one with Hookbill's life savings!

How do I get my hands on a copy of the 'Annoyingly Thick' magazine? I would like to read the stories in there!

Laurinquë · 06-30-2008, 02:12 AM

Ha! undoubtbly cheese induced! Hear that GEW? I love that.

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 06-30-2008, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Ha! undoubtbly cheese induced! Hear that GEW? I love that.

I haven't eaten cheese since... the last time I had those dreams!

Maybe it was cheese induced... I ate cheese today, in my beans... Will I have strange dreams when I finally go to bed?

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-01-2008, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morthoron

LETTER TO THE EDITOR
From
Gnonesuch the Gnome
Gnotary of the ABCDEFGH

Dear Gnonesuch,

I don't much like your tone of voice. Therefore, I'm sending you a life-time supply of sulfuric acid through your water pipes.

Take a bath!
- Jim the Public relations officer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volo

Black mail to the Editor
from
Olov the Scaled
Janitor of the Black Mail Historians

Dear sir,

The Downer refuses to engage in legitimate business proposals. Our accountant has all the illegal and highly morally questionable money to deal with. We are therefore forwarding your letter on to the Editor in Chief of The Barrow tabloid newspaper.
Hoping you have success,

- Harrold the new Public relations officer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

Wait, he's the most wonderful wight living? And here I was thinking that Barrow-Wights were all dead...
Nut I agree with you, Hookbill is the most wonderful wight! And I did not write the article. I'm pretty sure Hookbill did...

Actually, if you take a care to READ what was written, it becomes clear that that excellent article was written by Mr Formendacil. Great scotsman's ghost, don't people read anymore? Do I have to use the Hitler poster again?

Eönwë · 07-01-2008, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

The Downer refuses to engage in legitimate business proposals. Our accountant has all the illegal and highly morally questionable money to deal with. We are therefore forwarding your letter on to the Editor in Chief of The Barrow tabloid newspaper.
Hoping you have success,

- Harrold the new Public relations officer.

You don't think they might right about it, do you? That would just be preposterous! Showing an eemy newspaper in a bad light like that!

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 07-01-2008, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Actually, if you take a care to READ what was written, it becomes clear that that excellent article was written by Mr Formendacil. Great scotsman's ghost, don't people read anymore? Do I have to use the Hitler poster again?

Yes I read it, I wasn't sure which article was his though.... Of course I'm not the brightest of people, so I could've missed it.

06-29-2008, 09:51 PM	#1
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Mortals: I believe that your ignominious article 'Gnomes Demand To Be Counted Among The Noldor' should be gnominated as the worst piece of propaganda ever gnown. I am sure this type of accusation is gnothing gnu to you, but I have a gnawing suspicion (based on the article's gnauseously gnuanced gnomenclature) that this report was spread by the Order of Gnomonically Respectable Elves (OGRE), a gnomadic group of Gnomes under the gnominal leadership of the Gnoldor...errr, excuse me, Noldor. Under the gnom de plume OGRE, this fallacious faction of gnonconformist Gnomes has long sought linkage with the Noldor (and received agnonymous subsidization from them). We at the Affiliated Brethren Counter-Demanding an Elf-Free Gnomic Homeland (ABCDEFGH) want nothing to do with the gnaughty, haughty Noldor; however, please don't confuse us with the Hallowed Gnomes Fighting Elvish Domination: Currently, Before and After (HGFEDCBA), as they are merely a splinter group with gnumerous policy flaws and a horrid acronym. The ABCDEFGH remains commited to fighting Noldorin domination with gnathic tenacity, gnashing clenched teeth against the oppression and kin-strife gnarling elvish history in a gnumber of gnasty gnots. Gnotably yours, Gnonesuch the Gnome Gnotary of the ABCDEFGH __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 06-30-2008 at 07:21 PM.

06-29-2008, 10:08 PM	#2
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	Am I a sensible people? I would rather like one of those multicoloured coats! I think that I'll go buy one with Hookbill's life savings! How do I get my hands on a copy of the 'Annoyingly Thick' magazine? I would like to read the stories in there! __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.

06-30-2008, 02:12 AM	#3
Laurinquë Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 347	Ha! undoubtbly cheese induced! Hear that GEW? I love that.