Let's not cast the Silmarillion - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-26-2008, 06:54 AM

Maybe Keanu should play Maedhros instead?

Morthoron · 06-26-2008, 07:00 AM

How about an all-Italian dwarvish contingent: Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? The Brooklyn accents would heighten the drama.

Nerwen · 06-26-2008, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

Maybe Keanu should play Maedhros instead?

No, no, he has to be able to display his "talent" for "romance". (See the Matrix trilogy for some fine examples.)

Besides, while unlike Mith I like Beren and Lúthien, I do think Keanu is right for the part in some kind of terribly wrong way, if you see what I mean... (Okay, you probably don't.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morthoron

How about an all-Italian dwarvish contingent: Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? The Brooklyn accents would heighten the drama.

As well as providing the obligatory Dwarvish comic relief!

WANTED: Irritating and stupid brunette actress to play Lúthien. Singing talent optional.

Suggestions?

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 06-26-2008, 08:09 AM

Tyra Banks.

Oddwen · 06-26-2008, 08:26 AM

Kiera Knightley!

I wish to nominate Hayden Christiansen for the part of Feanor - and as his seven sons, all of them should be played by James Franco. Because a regular movie-goer wouldn't be able to tell them apart anyway. And also, 'twould be painfully amusing to watch such a wooden family. "Inner Fire" indeed.

Nerwen · 06-26-2008, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

I wish to nominate Hayden Christiansen for the part of Feanor.

Oddwen– are you a mind-reader? I was just about to suggest that!

Mithalwen · 06-26-2008, 11:01 AM

Oh yes Keanu and Keira would be perfectly cast as the gruesome twosome.

Not that I particularly dislike them, in fact compared to how I feel about B&L , I would be a fan, I just think that they are overrated - but good luck to anyone who can make a little talent go such a long way.

How about Paris Hilton as Nienor?

Galadriel55 · 06-13-2011, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerwen

WANTED: Irritating and stupid brunette actress to play Lúthien. Singing talent optional.

Liv Tyler. Who can be more stupid and more irritating?

Pitchwife · 06-13-2011, 12:00 PM

Julia Roberts in any female role would do the trick for me. Preferably a strong & tough one - Haleth?
And Ralph Fiennes as one of the bland good guys - Ingwë or Finarfin. (Just think of his hyper-affected portrayal of Voldemort, especially the resurrection scene in Goblet of Fire.)

EDIT: Have we decided what to do with Tom Cruise? I'd suggest some absolutely minor role - let's say, Amlach or Imlach, or Beren & Finrod's companion #9.

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 06-13-2011, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

Liv Tyler. Who can be more stupid and more irritating?

But Liv Tyler can actually sing. So she must be out of the question.

LadyBrooke · 06-13-2011, 12:53 PM

David Bowie as Maglor - He can sing and he's not a bad actor, as seen in the Labyrinth (yes, I'm one of those girls

) but it'd be ridiculously comedic...dance magic dance and all that.

Also, Dick Van Dyke as Daeron...once again, not a bad actor or singer, but the only thing I would be able to think of was Burt from Mary Poppins. Oh it's a jolly holiday with Luthien....

Archaic Elf · 07-30-2011, 11:49 PM

Sorry for reviving, but this thread is hilarious. Found it while searching for something completely unrelated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Only problem is that I hate Beren and Luthien so much that I really think Keanu would be perfect .... with some irritating and stupid brunette as the canary....

How can this be??? Has your opinion changed on Beren and Luthien?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morthoron

How about an all-Italian dwarvish contingent: Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? The Brooklyn accents would heighten the drama.

Thingol: Give me back the Silmaril and the Nauglamir.

Dwarf (played by De Niro): Are you talking to me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

I wish to nominate Hayden Christiansen for the part of Feanor - and as his seven sons, all of them should be played by James Franco.

LOL. That sums it up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond18

Hayden Christiensen really needs to play Turin Turambar. Not Feanor. Come on, think about it! It would be "perfect."

Agreed. That's what I thought as soon as I saw his name pop up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Morwen would have to be played by someone irredeemably upbeat and perky.

I suggest Reece Witherspoon.

That would be hilarious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

Hasselhoff surely will bring the fullest elements to the crucial aspect of elven hair. Maybe the colour isn't exactly right, but his casting could ensure that his elven character would never have a bad hair day.

Hasselhoff should play the elf that always taunted Turin and told him to comb his hair. Sadly, that elf dies...

Completely Hollywood Version of Silmarillion

Director - Wes Anderson (I haven't seen any of his films, but they seem quirky enough.)

Actually, "Hollywood" would probably film this like they film every horrible reality show. Up close sit down interviews with the characters filmed in a studio spliced into the storyline every ten seconds for whatever dumb reason the characters need to explain the storyline and what's going on.

Feanor - James Franco

His Two Sons (Hollywood has a budget).
Maedros - Robert Twilight Pattinson
Maglor - Justin Timberlake

Beren - Tom Cruise
Luthien - Katie Holmes

Thingol - Brad Pitt
Melian - Angelina Jolie

Turin - Hayden Darth Vader Christiansen
Nienor - Natalie Portman
Beleg Strongbow - Johnny Depp (that would be cool, but he would be killed off early)
Hurin - Joe Pesci

Tuor - Will Smith
Turgon - Sean Connory
Maeglin - Robert Downey Jr.
Glorfindel - Orlando Bloom

Earendil - Mickey Rourke
Elwing - Miley Cyrus

Isildur - Jack Black

Galadriel - Meghan Fox
Celeborn - Leonardo DiCaprio
Cirdan - Chuck Norris
Elrond - Morgan Freeman
Elros - Bill Murray

Gandalf - Justin Bieber (he's a young, hip Gandalf that the kids can relate to)
Saruman - Crispin Glover

Manwe - Will Ferrell
Varda - Lindsey Lohan
Aule - Michael Clarke Duncan
Ulmo - Michael Phelps
Mandos - Jet Li
Yavanna - Jennifer Aniston

Morgoth - Agent Smith, Hugo Weaving
Sauron - Russel Brand
Glaurong - James Earl Jones
Gothmog - Jim Carrey

Smeagol - Charlie Sheen

Mithalwen · 06-26-2008, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morthoron

How about an all-Italian dwarvish contingent: Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? The Brooklyn accents would heighten the drama.

I'd say add Anthony La Paglia, even though I really like him, I cna't quite see him in the Sil...

And another overrated actress, Kate Witless as Finduilas because little would give me more pleasure than to see her skewered to a tree. There is a reason why the best parts for English women tend to go to Blanchett, Paltrow or Zellweger

Ibrîniðilpathânezel · 06-26-2008, 11:19 AM

Two people I've always felt fall squarely in the "wooden acting" category are Uma Thurman and Nicholas Cage. I'd be hard pressed to find a sufficiently wooden role for either of them, though (particularly given that Cage's face always makes me think of a sad beagle...)

Lalaith · 06-26-2008, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Beren: Keanu Reeves.

Actually, there is definitely a place in Tolkien for a wooden but pretty matinee idol type. So I am rather liking this concept of Keanu as Beren.
And Orlando would make a lovely Tuor. Ah.

Here is my Nightmare on Middle Earth Sil cast list:
Nicholas Cage as Feanor.
Michael Douglas as Manwe.
Jim Carrey as Hurin.

Nerwen · 06-26-2008, 11:37 AM

I'd completely forgotten Nicholas Cage! How could I?

Morthoron · 06-26-2008, 01:16 PM

Woody Allen as Morgoth. Somehow, the thought of the evil supreme being as a hypochondriacal, neurotic Jewish nebbish cracks me up.

Beregond · 06-26-2008, 01:37 PM

Oooh, great idea for a fun thread.

Let us see...

Turin: Keanu Reaves

Finduilas: Jessica Alba

Melian: Cameron Diaz

Barahir: Harrison Ford

Beren: Justin Timberlake (beat that!

)

Luthien: Angelina Jolie

Feanor: Hugh Jackman or Gerard Butler

Maglor: Ewan MacGregor

And of course,

Mim: Jack Black

Diamond18 · 06-26-2008, 02:37 PM

All this talk about wooden acting forces me to comment:

We are talking about The Silmarillion, yes?

...do I really have to say it? Okay I will. The Silmarillion is all about the woodenness. All these "stoic" actors would be absolutely perfect for such a book.

I was all ready to jump around screaming "Keira Knightley!" but then Oddwen stole my thunder.

I must now go pout.

Okay, I'm back.

I think Richard Dreyfuss should play Eru and we could rename the story "Mr. Iluvatar's Opus."

Also, Johnny Depp should play Beren, as this would provide him a wonderful opportunity to play yet another character with "hand" in his surname.

Hayden Christiensen really needs to play Turin Turambar. Not Feanor. Come on, think about it! It would be "perfect."

Ibrîniðilpathânezel · 06-26-2008, 02:55 PM

I suppose one could always wander from the realm of wooden to the absurd, and cast Jim Carrey as Namo. That would be one VERY strange pronouncement of the Doom of the Noldor...

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 06-26-2008, 03:40 PM

We totally need to cast Jim Carrey in the Sil, he would totally ruin it!

06-26-2008, 07:00 AM	#2
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	How about an all-Italian dwarvish contingent: Al Pacino, Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? The Brooklyn accents would heighten the drama. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

06-26-2008, 08:09 AM	#4
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Tyra Banks. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

06-26-2008, 08:26 AM	#5
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Kiera Knightley! I wish to nominate Hayden Christiansen for the part of Feanor - and as his seven sons, all of them should be played by James Franco. Because a regular movie-goer wouldn't be able to tell them apart anyway. And also, 'twould be painfully amusing to watch such a wooden family. "Inner Fire" indeed. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-26-2008, 11:01 AM	#7
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,461	Oh yes Keanu and Keira would be perfectly cast as the gruesome twosome. Not that I particularly dislike them, in fact compared to how I feel about B&L , I would be a fan, I just think that they are overrated - but good luck to anyone who can make a little talent go such a long way. How about Paris Hilton as Nienor? __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

06-13-2011, 12:53 PM	#11
LadyBrooke Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: The modern day version of Edoras: horses, wind, rolling plains =) Posts: 507	David Bowie as Maglor - He can sing and he's not a bad actor, as seen in the Labyrinth (yes, I'm one of those girls ) but it'd be ridiculously comedic...dance magic dance and all that. Also, Dick Van Dyke as Daeron...once again, not a bad actor or singer, but the only thing I would be able to think of was Burt from Mary Poppins. Oh it's a jolly holiday with Luthien.... __________________ Busy, Busy, Busy...hoping for more free time soon.

06-13-2011, 12:00 PM	#9
Pitchwife Wight of the Old Forest Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Unattended on the railway station, in the litter at the dancehall Posts: 3,329	Julia Roberts in any female role would do the trick for me. Preferably a strong & tough one - Haleth? And Ralph Fiennes as one of the bland good guys - Ingwë or Finarfin. (Just think of his hyper-affected portrayal of Voldemort, especially the resurrection scene in Goblet of Fire.) EDIT: Have we decided what to do with Tom Cruise? I'd suggest some absolutely minor role - let's say, Amlach or Imlach, or Beren & Finrod's companion #9. __________________ Und aus dem Erebos kamen viele seelen herauf der abgeschiedenen toten.- Homer, Odyssey, Canto XI Last edited by Pitchwife; 06-13-2011 at 12:06 PM.

06-26-2008, 11:19 AM	#14
Ibrîniðilpathânezel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Back on the Helcaraxe Posts: 733	Two people I've always felt fall squarely in the "wooden acting" category are Uma Thurman and Nicholas Cage. I'd be hard pressed to find a sufficiently wooden role for either of them, though (particularly given that Cage's face always makes me think of a sad beagle...) __________________ Call me Ibrin (or Ibri) :) Originality is the one thing that unoriginal minds cannot feel the use of. — John Stewart Mill

06-26-2008, 11:37 AM	#16
Nerwen Wisest of the Noldor Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: ˙˙˙ssɐןƃ ƃuıʞooן ǝɥʇ ɥƃnoɹɥʇ Posts: 6,694	I'd completely forgotten Nicholas Cage! How could I? __________________ "Even Nerwen wasn't evil in the beginning." –Elmo.

06-26-2008, 01:16 PM	#17
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	Woody Allen as Morgoth. Somehow, the thought of the evil supreme being as a hypochondriacal, neurotic Jewish nebbish cracks me up. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

06-26-2008, 01:37 PM	#18
Beregond Playful Ghoul Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,251	Oooh, great idea for a fun thread. Let us see... Turin: Keanu Reaves Finduilas: Jessica Alba Melian: Cameron Diaz Barahir: Harrison Ford Beren: Justin Timberlake (beat that! ) Luthien: Angelina Jolie Feanor: Hugh Jackman or Gerard Butler Maglor: Ewan MacGregor And of course, Mim: Jack Black __________________ "Hope and memory shall live still in some hidden valley where the grass is green."

06-26-2008, 02:37 PM	#19
Diamond18 Eidolon of a Took Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: my own private fantasy world Posts: 3,460	All this talk about wooden acting forces me to comment: We are talking about The Silmarillion, yes? ...do I really have to say it? Okay I will. The Silmarillion is all about the woodenness. All these "stoic" actors would be absolutely perfect for such a book. I was all ready to jump around screaming "Keira Knightley!" but then Oddwen stole my thunder. I must now go pout. Okay, I'm back. I think Richard Dreyfuss should play Eru and we could rename the story "Mr. Iluvatar's Opus." Also, Johnny Depp should play Beren, as this would provide him a wonderful opportunity to play yet another character with "hand" in his surname. Hayden Christiensen really needs to play Turin Turambar. Not Feanor. Come on, think about it! It would be "perfect." __________________ All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.

06-26-2008, 02:55 PM	#20
Ibrîniðilpathânezel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Back on the Helcaraxe Posts: 733	I suppose one could always wander from the realm of wooden to the absurd, and cast Jim Carrey as Namo. That would be one VERY strange pronouncement of the Doom of the Noldor... __________________ Call me Ibrin (or Ibri) :) Originality is the one thing that unoriginal minds cannot feel the use of. — John Stewart Mill

06-26-2008, 03:40 PM	#21
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	We totally need to cast Jim Carrey in the Sil, he would totally ruin it! __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.