A Gollum to your Smeagol?

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His nick was "Haughty Scotty," and he was my Gollum.

HS and I grew up together. Though I had many 'friends' (preferring at that time the shotgun approach to friendship), HS and a few others were closer than some. He definitely brought out my more mischievous side. HS was gregarious, radically rascally and a practical genius in math - he tested very high on various aptitude tests, and this made him an excellent Dungeon Master when we played AD&D.

HS and I were close enough that with a look (or more likely a sly grin) we knew exactly what the other was thinking, to the consternation of others, especially his mother. Now we both came from divorced families, though I got a new father figure, HS never did, and I think that made much of the difference in how we proceeded in life. We were, even early on, considered to be each other's twin though we looked absolutely nothing alike. A bus driver, subject to our humor, named us "Rif" and "Raf," though I'm not sure which was me.

I can remember a few incidents that showed that we were not on parallel tracks, and though the difference was initially small, eventually our paths would diverge to where I'm not sure that we'd even be considered friends.

When we were younger, HS's mom, somewhat dramatically, told a story that pretty much involved a child being disobedient by taking a broom away from its mother. Going for laughs, instead of respecting his mother's strong emotions at that moment, HS took a broom away from his mother, and got the laughs from his siblings. It wasn't something that I wouldn't have done, as you could see the pain at that moment that it was causing his mother.

When attending a extracurricular event at a local museum, HS had the temerity to tell a docent that the name "Gutenberg" could not be found in the encyclopedias. That day, HS was feeling ill, and when looking at an artsy-fartsy picture, told that docent that the picture made him nauseous, then subsequently hacked. Point made, I guess, with many fewer words than the docent tried to extract. HS definitely didn't play the game, or at times play nice, which was fine when it was them, but with us - his friends - too? That would come later.

When we were older, as guys sometimes are, we were interested in...what else...girls. We, of course, did whatever stupid thing came to mind as obviously this would impress the girls, making them warm up to us (note that this is either genetic or somehow it gets reinforced at an early age as it doesn't make much sense). I did my share - if not more - of stupid, but would draw the line at selling out my buddies. HS didn't see that line, and did not or would not stop no matter the damage he'd do if it led to his personal gain. It started getting that you began doubting HS, and I found myself apologizing for his behavior, as other mutual friends started to bail on him.

Somewhere in his head, filled with crazy thoughts to begin with, reality became more his own creation than something outside himself. There was always some scheme, some plan, some thing that would take him to the next level. For someone so bright what he said didn't make sense. I started not to trust whatever he said, and that was sad.

As the years passed we drifted further and further apart, still sharing those old bonds but leading different lives, and so finding less connections. We got together once many years ago. He spoke of grandiose things - the big car he was buying, the business he was starting - yet all of the evidence pointed to the fact that this all wasn't true. The issue that I saw as the problem as he felt - or could not do otherwise - that he had to lie to me, who only cared about sharing a few moments talking about the olds days. Who cared what car he drove?

He was deluding himself, and it was truly a shame.

I have no idea where HS is today, though people have had sightings - kind of like Elvis - and so he's probably still out there.

***

Completely unrelated - mostly - is another kind of Gollum to my Smeagol (or vice versa). I'd dated this, well, girl, back in the day, and she and I could not have been more opposite. Forget that stuff about opposites attract - okay, so obviously we did for a few dates, but the more we learned about each other, the more we realized that we were from different universes and it was only that hormonal hyping that kept us from initially repelling each other like magnets. You name the topic, we were diametrically opposed. Public vs parochial schools, shocker vs conformist, sensible vs flighty, planner vs slacker, rah-rah school spirit junkie vs apathetic cynic, etc.

We still chat now and again (about our kids, families - is that clear that we don't have kids together as we just went on a few puppy love dates?), and I think the whole affair funny - of course she doesn't and refuses to even remember any of it.