Middle-Earth Football World Cup 2007

[Sleepy Ranger]

Ladies and gentlemen we are reporting to you live from the national stadium in Mordor, nicknamed the Eye of Fire. The first two matches of the 2007 Middle-Earth Football World Cup will be played here. We are just moments away from the beginning of Erebor vs. Angband. We have some famous faces in the crowd today. It seems Sleepy Cowell has showed up for the Erebor vs. Angband match.

I also think I saw ME Idol winner, Elempi, and the runner-up, TORE, walking about in Shire jerseys but then again I may have had a tad bit too much wine. Without further ado, the first two matches of the World Cup are ready to kick off!

***

Group A
Erebor 0 - 1 Angband
(Thuringwethel 85th)

The first half was relatively actionless with neither side really threatening despite Erebor's three corners. Erebor began the match very positively and won three early corners but were unable to really threaten with them. Angband kept trying to break through but very foiled time after time and after a relatively sedated first half the teams went in level.

The second half played out more or less the same as the first half with neither team really able to do much in attack. The deadlock stood till the 85th minute when Thuringwethel broke away and slide in a neat shot past the goal keeper to give Angband a well fought win. Moments later Erebor came close to equalizing through a drilled in shot by Thorin that fizzled wide of target.

Shots: 3(0) - 6(2)
Posession: 43 - 57

Group B
Lothlorien 0 - 0 Shire

So far this has been a pretty boring and defensive match. The Shire soon reverted to long ball tactics and the first half ended without a goal. While Lothlorien's dribbling and graceful play may have lit up the play at parts on the whole neither team has shown and signs of being able to win. Neither team having taken a shot the entire half.

The second half showed no improvement and both teams still struggled to find any quality in front of goal. Lothlorien were the first to create an actual chance when Gandal cracked in a shot from the edge of the box but it was wide, very wide. Soon after, Shire's long ball tactics finall paid off and Bullroarer found himself free with the ball but his volley was hopelessly wide.

The Shire found themselves with another very good oppurtunity when Pippin was taken down outside the box and Rumil recieved a YELLOW CARD. Sam sent the resultant free kick over the goal, well over. Moments later Lothlorien recieved a free kick in an identical position but no card was shown this time. However they too sent the ball well over the goal. In stoppage time Bullroarer had a wonderful oppurtunity, open goal, and wham, he sends the ball into the post and out of play. Disappointing game, neither team deserved the win quite frankly.

Shots: 3(0) - 4(0)
Posession: 50 - 50
Bookings: Rumil

***

It doesn't seem either of these matches were all that exciting but Angband will be pleased to have picked up the three points. Lothlorien and Shire played it out sensibly seeing as they're the strongest of their groups maybe a draw isn't that bad a result for them. Every point counts. Hopefully we'll see some more attacking games later on. The other two fixtures will kick-off soon and of course, we'll be providing live coverage available over eagle and palantir.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Here we are, ready and waiting for the kick-off the next two matches of the day. Angband won in a rather listless match and Lothlorien and Shire played to a goalless draw in a match were they both played a very careful game. Next up we have Mordor taking on Roverandom in what should be, on paper, an easy win for Mordor. After that we have Rohan taking on the Inklings, which seems to be an interesting match to say the least.

***

Group D
Mordor 0 - 1 Roverandom
(Roverandom 88th)

Fantastic attacking play by Mordor all through the first half. Why, Roverandom hardly got a touch on the ball. It was a thrilling performance as Mordor managed to dribble past the Roverandom defence over and over, putting on quite a show. They won a free kick very early on in the game which deflected off the crossbar and out leaving Gothomg very annoyed. After some more fantastic moves ended in disappointment, Gothomg managed to play a ball in to Witch-King who beat his marker and unbelivably saw his shot saved by Tinker. The resulting corner was headed over by Dark-Lord.

The second half started off in the same way the first half ended with Mordor dominating quite about everything, but not finding the target. They knocked on the door ceaselessly but Roverandom held on quite unbelivably. Shot after shot after shot, Roverandom denied Mordor quite... quite luckily to be honest. Towards the end it became apparent that all this fast paced attacking had worn out the Mordor team and they began to make some costly mistakes.

A very frustrated tackle by Snaga led to a yellow card for him and a free kick for Roverandom. Wizard Artaxerxez took the free kick rather well but it was easily handled by the Mordor keeper. With only two minutes of regular time to be played a lob into the area from Wizard Artaxerxez was converted easily by Roverandom, pulling off what may be one of the biggest upsets to date. A lot of the blame should be placed on Shelob for diving before the shot came in, giving Roverandom a very easy job.

Shots: 14(5) - 5(3)
Posession: 55 - 45
Bookings: Snaga

Group G
Rohan 0 - 2 Inklings
(J.R.R Tokien 23rd, 79th)

The match started with the Inklings making a fine break of goal but a slide tackle on the edge of the area by Theoden ensured he didn't let in a goal right off. After that Rohan pretty much dominated the game. Eomer came close to score but his quick fire shot just grazed the post on it's way out. Around the 23rd minute, Christopher Tolkien provided a neat pass to Charles Williams who crossed in for J.R.R Tolkien to head in the opener. After that goal the match began to play out a bit more evenly though no other note-worthy chances were created.

Though Rohan saw more posession in the second half it was the Inklings made use of theirs. The game played out rather evenly when everything is taken into consideration. Rohan held the ball more and Inklings shot more. Neither team was able to find a goal though. In the 79th minute that changed as C.S Lewis broke past the Rohan defence and slotted back a through ball for J.R.R Tolkien to tap into an empty net, Bullroarer Took better be taking notes. The Inklings prove Saucepan Man's analysis true and emerged victorious by a two goal margin.

Shots: 3(0) - 6(2)
Posession: 54 - 46

***

Wow... I'm still stunned that Mordor LOST to Roverandom. I really have no idea what to say. The Inklings impressed with a fairly good performance which saw them beat Rohan two goals to none. Now it remains to be seen how they stack up against Gondor and the Barrow-Downs.

Also, photos from the game shall be up later on in the day.

[The Saucepan Man]

I would have expected Angband to slot more past Erebor, but the win sets them off on the path of likely Group winners.

I can understand the caution of The Shire and Lothlorien, but one of them may come to rue this result with hotly tipped Tuna (mmm, tasty ) in the Group. The Shire, in particular, should have looked to capitalise on their many chances. It looks like Pippin is missing his former strike partner Merry already. The fact that they ended up resorting to the long ball suggests that the midfield is a shadow of its former self. The Shire need to improve, and quick, if they are to repeat last year's achievement. Still, Lothlorien are a difficult team to break down.

Well, I said that Roverandum should not be underestimated, but I didn't expect this! There is no other way to describe their result against Mordor other than as a major upset. And, in quite a tight Group, Mordor could come to regret all those missed chances (14 shots on goal, 5 on target) big time.

And it looks like Rohan are going to flatter to deceive once more. They really should have done better. But it seems that The Inklings are as good a side as I suspected they might be, and it also appears that JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis have patched up their recent differences to combine well up front.

Yellow Boot Trophy competition

Day one sees John Ronald Reuel making an early bid for the prize:

JRR Tolkien (Inklings) – 2
Thuringwethil (Angband) – 1
Roverandom (Roverandom) - 1

[the phantom]

Erebor 0 - 1 Angband

The result was not surprising here, but I am shocked that Angband didn't outshoot Erebor by more than 6-3. Thuringwethil played up to expectations, displaying the speed and guile of a true vampire queen.

Lothlorien 0 - 0 Shire

Boring to watch, and honestly these two teams deserve to be disqualified after that gutless performance. They played as if they had already sewn up births in the next round, which they may have just kept themselves from doing by being content to pick up one point instead of three. Within their group, Tuna is superior at every position and Brethil is solid with an all-star scorer up front, so really I don't understand Lothlorien and Shire's tactic. At least there was one positive note- I didn't see blatant underhanded play from the Shire. Perhaps it was Frodo and Merry behind all the schemes last year, and with them gone we will see better sportsmanship.

Mordor 0 - 1 Roverandom

Sauron has got to be furious after dominating shots and posession and yet still managing to lose. This was not so much a great game by Roverandom as it was Mordor swooping in and seizing defeat from the jaws of victory. Of course, that sort of thing seems to happen to Sauron now and then.

Rohan 0 - 2 Inklings

Despite the fact that I didn't pick Inklings to advance, this result is not terribly shocking to me. I knew Inklings had a bit more potential than the other new teams, but I didn't want to rate them too high early on seeing as they've never been in the tournament before. If today's match was any indication, they are a real contender, because Rohan is no push over.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by the phantom

SHIRE- Every single member of the Shire team will be slower, weaker, and shorter, and have less reach than his/her opponent in every single game. So naturally, they will win lots of matches. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Teams of twelve year olds regularly beat World Cup teams after all, right? But seriously, so long as officials refuse to crack down on various illegal activities, I fully expect the Shire to carry on winning matches by continuing their practice of poisoning opponents’ water jugs, paying referees, rigging the ball with magnets, and other such nonsense.

Aw, you're just smarting still from the success of The Shire last year.

Originally Posted by TP

Within their group, Tuna is superior at every position ...

Last year, I would have put this down to your traditional contempt for Hobbits and bias towards anything Feanor-related. Unfortunately, though, I think that this asessment is correct this time round. The Shire is clearly not the team it was last year.

Originally Posted by TP

... Rohan is no push over.

Logically, that's right. But Rohan are Middle-earth's Spain. Great players, great team, much expected of them by fans and analysts alike but, year after year, they fail to deliver.