*The Barrow-Downs Official Birthday Newspaper* - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Durelin · 05-01-2007, 06:56 PM

On May 1, 2003, the questions of canonicity were thrown out the window, and residents of The Barrow-Downs, at large, for a brief time had the nerve to do whatever they wished with Tolkien’s creations. The “Entish Bow Nonsense Act” apparently paved the way for such blatant disregard of J.R.R. Tolkien’s dream, his vision, his creation.

Supporters of the “EBNA” claimed that enforcing the observance of Tolkien’s “rules” creates a metaphorical prison for their natural and naturally abundant creativity. Apparently as part of exercising their freedom of creative expression, a number of Wights partook in the cooking, BBQing, and consumption of what they called “Balrog Wings.”

This display of questionable existence seemed to be the occasion for the debacle at Minas Arnor, at which attendees were seen using devices of questionable and likely dark-magic-as-in-necromancer-ring-a-bell?, went so far as to address questions unanswered with as-they-pleased assumptions, and were accompanied peacefully by creatures who Tolkien specifically stated in Letter 1337, “tear…[the] living…life out…[of] anything…[and] anyone.”

Among the excess of negative reactions was chair-high-grand-puba of the Canonites of the New Nexus of Neo-Tolkienites’ words, which were quoted in the 134th issue of Ye Olde Downer: “I…[am] flabbergasted. There is nothing funny…[about] Tolkien.”

This statement did much to spark a loud dialogue between Canonites and FIFites*, but the questions of whether or not Balrogs have wings, whether Balrogs are funnier with or without their wings, whether Balrog wings are actually funnier on a Balrog or as a separate entity, and whether right or wrong is in the eye of the book-holder or the book-owner were never sufficiently answered.

*FIF is the traditional acronym for the Free Interpretation Front

The 1,000 Reader · 05-01-2007, 07:16 PM

As known by all (that go to the Barrow-Downs) today is the birthday of the Barrow-Downs newspaper. Normally, this would be a day of celebration, but recent riots have made the opposite true. Recently, a large group of foreign spirits have gathered around the Barrow-Downs, and they have been complaining wildly. Who are these people?

The spirits of Arnor.

Slain by the Witch-King thousands of years ago, these spirits, freed from Minas Morgul due to the death of the Witch-King, have returned to their native lands, hoping to find peace in the barrows of Cardolan. However, the occupation of their burial mounds has sparked outrage. They demand to speak to the "Lead wight", which is impossible at the moment, due to said wight dying at the hands of an eccentric man of the forest some years ago. The ghosts of Arnor are also angered that the city of Fornost is now called "Deadman's Dike", as if to say that the whole land is cursed. Few quotes could be gathered at the moment, because other than the Nazgul and the Oathbreakers, the dead in Middle-Earth are nearly mute. A hobbit named Frodo Baggins was reported to have heard the "lead wight" sing a song in his stay at the wight's barrow, but that wight appears to have been the only one that could truly speak.

Ultimately, the people of Arnor want to rest in peace, and to do so they need their sacred mounds back.

**The Saucepan Man** · 05-01-2007, 07:43 PM

This are serious dog, and he bring serious cracker as birthday gift.

The Might · 05-02-2007, 02:58 PM

It seems that the reason for Serious Cat's vacation isn't taking a break, relaxing or losing some weight.
Some well informed sources say that Serious still has some unpaid debts of cat food to the Cat Mafia, and that Al Catone, the head of the family wants him dead or alive. In order to save his fur Serious toke the first flight out of the country and is living now on an unknown tropical island, waiting for things to cool down.
When asked what his opinion on the situation is, Al Catone replied: "Nobody f***s with the family, if you do, you're cat litter!"

Below you'll also find a photo of Catone

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-02-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:

When asked what his opinion on the situation is, Al Catone replied: "Nobody f***s with the family, if you do, you're cat litter!"

The Downer managed to get an interview with the leader of the Cat Mafia. He told us that if anyone has any information on Serious Cat, then one should contact Brando Cat, because...

05-01-2007, 06:56 PM	#1
Durelin Estelo dagnir, Melo ring Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,063	This Day in History On May 1, 2003, the questions of canonicity were thrown out the window, and residents of The Barrow-Downs, at large, for a brief time had the nerve to do whatever they wished with Tolkien’s creations. The “Entish Bow Nonsense Act” apparently paved the way for such blatant disregard of J.R.R. Tolkien’s dream, his vision, his creation. Supporters of the “EBNA” claimed that enforcing the observance of Tolkien’s “rules” creates a metaphorical prison for their natural and naturally abundant creativity. Apparently as part of exercising their freedom of creative expression, a number of Wights partook in the cooking, BBQing, and consumption of what they called “Balrog Wings.” This display of questionable existence seemed to be the occasion for the debacle at Minas Arnor, at which attendees were seen using devices of questionable and likely dark-magic-as-in-necromancer-ring-a-bell?, went so far as to address questions unanswered with as-they-pleased assumptions, and were accompanied peacefully by creatures who Tolkien specifically stated in Letter 1337, “tear…[the] living…life out…[of] anything…[and] anyone.” Among the excess of negative reactions was chair-high-grand-puba of the Canonites of the New Nexus of Neo-Tolkienites’ words, which were quoted in the 134th issue of Ye Olde Downer: “I…[am] flabbergasted. There is nothing funny…[about] Tolkien.” This statement did much to spark a loud dialogue between Canonites and FIFites, but the questions of whether or not Balrogs have wings, whether Balrogs are funnier with or without their wings, whether Balrog wings are actually funnier on a Balrog or as a separate entity, and whether right or wrong is in the eye of the book-holder or the book-owner were never sufficiently answered. FIF is the traditional acronym for the Free Interpretation Front

05-01-2007, 07:16 PM	#2
The 1,000 Reader Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps. Posts: 527	Dispute Over Native Land As known by all (that go to the Barrow-Downs) today is the birthday of the Barrow-Downs newspaper. Normally, this would be a day of celebration, but recent riots have made the opposite true. Recently, a large group of foreign spirits have gathered around the Barrow-Downs, and they have been complaining wildly. Who are these people? The spirits of Arnor. Slain by the Witch-King thousands of years ago, these spirits, freed from Minas Morgul due to the death of the Witch-King, have returned to their native lands, hoping to find peace in the barrows of Cardolan. However, the occupation of their burial mounds has sparked outrage. They demand to speak to the "Lead wight", which is impossible at the moment, due to said wight dying at the hands of an eccentric man of the forest some years ago. The ghosts of Arnor are also angered that the city of Fornost is now called "Deadman's Dike", as if to say that the whole land is cursed. Few quotes could be gathered at the moment, because other than the Nazgul and the Oathbreakers, the dead in Middle-Earth are nearly mute. A hobbit named Frodo Baggins was reported to have heard the "lead wight" sing a song in his stay at the wight's barrow, but that wight appears to have been the only one that could truly speak. Ultimately, the people of Arnor want to rest in peace, and to do so they need their sacred mounds back. __________________ "And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains