What do you assign to Orthanc?

[Lalaith]

I assign John Prescott. He's not popular with the press but his Yorkshire "I call a spade a spade" approach always raises a smile in our house, especially when decking egg-toting Welsh farmers with mullets.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
And on the subject of politics, I assign Max Hastings. All good liberals need one token right-winger to approve of, and he's mine. In fact, I find myself so often nodding in agreement with the stuff he writes, it's scary.