How to Annoy Sauron(a.k.a How to get yourself killed) - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Elonve · 01-09-2007, 07:58 AM

Make fat jokes about his 'Mummy'

Talk in a very annoying spitty voice.

Prance around in his knickers singing, "I am Lord Sauron! Weeeeee!"
________
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Alphaelin · 01-30-2007, 02:22 AM

Tell him you've enrolled the Orcs in ballet class, and that he has to watch their recital. Dress the Orcs in pink costumes, with maribou feathers. Make the Orcs dance to 'I'm a little teapot', and make them practice it about fifty times a day. Be sure to plan the recital for the exact moment Aragorn's army shows up at the Morannon.

Elmo · 01-30-2007, 10:33 AM

Claim that the size of Barad-Dur is Sauron trying to compensate for something

THE LACK OF A SECOND EYE of course, what did you think i was meaning

Chant ma me ma mo, ma me ma mae over and over again in an irritating high pitch voice, no wait just get Pippin to do it

***Thenamir*** · 01-30-2007, 01:13 PM

Send him a case of Visine.

Celegost · 03-15-2007, 03:39 PM

When hes adressing his massive orc army, shout "everybody dance now"

xyzzy · 03-15-2007, 06:49 PM

Vividly describe a dream to him which you had where he dies a torturous death.

Include stabbing sound effects for bonus points.

Eye stabbing sounds.

The Sixth Wizard · 03-16-2007, 06:01 AM

Build up a massive army of elves, men and other nice people, invade Barad-Dur and set a dog on him 'just like old times'.

Tell him Luthien is better than him.

Tell him Felagund nearly beat him at singing.

Laugh at his singing.

STOP HIM SINGING.

Tell him that even if Minas Tirith had been invaded and there was a second Dark Years that Eru would have put a foot in and sunk the party anyway.

Tell him his old vampire suit makes his rear end look big.

Listen to him say his eye is superior to all attack and sees all, then get a mate and sneak up on him from behind and front simultaneously.

Tell him that he has the worst army in Battle For Middle Earth 2.

Tell him Saruman's orcs are bigger, smarter and have more dynamite.

Inform him of the fact he was beaten by a dog OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

Then inform him of the fact he was beaten by a midget.

... And his chief servant was beaten by a girl.

Tell him Aragorn looks more manly than him.

Ask whether wearing a big black helmet hides his pimples.

Enlighten him upon Olay Ultra-Clear. (the spot is gone in 24 hours!)

Tell him Artemis Fowl is WAY smarter than him.

Then prove it in a game of cross-book correspondence chess.

Ask whether he is really a HE.

...Run away from her.

Aaaaaah, cynicality.

01-09-2007, 07:58 AM	#1
Elonve Wight Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Where the stars go blue. Posts: 153	Make fat jokes about his 'Mummy' Talk in a very annoying spitty voice. Prance around in his knickers singing, "I am Lord Sauron! Weeeeee!" ________ Vaporizers For Sale Last edited by Elonve; 04-09-2011 at 06:23 PM.

01-30-2007, 02:22 AM	#2
Alphaelin Wight Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Tottering about in the Wild Posts: 130	Tell him you've enrolled the Orcs in ballet class, and that he has to watch their recital. Dress the Orcs in pink costumes, with maribou feathers. Make the Orcs dance to 'I'm a little teapot', and make them practice it about fifty times a day. Be sure to plan the recital for the exact moment Aragorn's army shows up at the Morannon. __________________ Not all those who wander are lost . . . because some of us know how to read a map.

01-30-2007, 10:33 AM	#3
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	Claim that the size of Barad-Dur is Sauron trying to compensate for something THE LACK OF A SECOND EYE of course, what did you think i was meaning Chant ma me ma mo, ma me ma mae over and over again in an irritating high pitch voice, no wait just get Pippin to do it __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

01-30-2007, 01:13 PM	#4
*Thenamir* Spectre of Capitalism Join Date: May 2001 Location: Battling evil bureaucrats at Zeta Aquilae Posts: 987	Send him a case of Visine. __________________ The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. ~~ Marcus Aurelius

03-15-2007, 03:39 PM	#5
Celegost Pile O'Bones Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hobbiton Posts: 23	When hes adressing his massive orc army, shout "everybody dance now" __________________ From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.

03-15-2007, 06:49 PM	#6
xyzzy Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Ozark, MO Posts: 53	Vividly describe a dream to him which you had where he dies a torturous death. Include stabbing sound effects for bonus points. Eye stabbing sounds.

03-16-2007, 06:01 AM	#7
The Sixth Wizard Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon. Posts: 480	Build up a massive army of elves, men and other nice people, invade Barad-Dur and set a dog on him 'just like old times'. Tell him Luthien is better than him. Tell him Felagund nearly beat him at singing. Laugh at his singing. STOP HIM SINGING. Tell him that even if Minas Tirith had been invaded and there was a second Dark Years that Eru would have put a foot in and sunk the party anyway. Tell him his old vampire suit makes his rear end look big. Listen to him say his eye is superior to all attack and sees all, then get a mate and sneak up on him from behind and front simultaneously. Tell him that he has the worst army in Battle For Middle Earth 2. Tell him Saruman's orcs are bigger, smarter and have more dynamite. Inform him of the fact he was beaten by a dog OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Then inform him of the fact he was beaten by a midget. ... And his chief servant was beaten by a girl. Tell him Aragorn looks more manly than him. Ask whether wearing a big black helmet hides his pimples. Enlighten him upon Olay Ultra-Clear. (the spot is gone in 24 hours!) Tell him Artemis Fowl is WAY smarter than him. Then prove it in a game of cross-book correspondence chess. Ask whether he is really a HE. ...Run away from her. Aaaaaah, cynicality.