The Fellowship of the Fourth Age (Part 1): A New Beginning Discussion Thread - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Nogrod · 12-03-2006, 12:22 PM

There is a quite bloody battle there now and the action around the tunnel has been put to an end. At least this far.

Just a small request to you fellow writers.

I have never tried a post like that before and I'm not sure how well it managed to convey the situation and what happened in it. In Finnish I believe I would have been able to make it intelligible with all the changing perspectives and so on, but in English I'm not so sure about it. I have myself quite a clear vision of what happened there, but I would be very happy to have some feedback from that. So did you understand what happened, was it clear or baffling? What was badly / wrongly expressed, which parts were more like messing things up rather than making sense? I would appreciate any feedback from this as it was quite a complex task to me.

Tevildo: Dorran might take it up from there now, I think.

12-03-2006, 12:22 PM	#11
Nogrod Flame of the Ainulindalë Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Wearing rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves in a field behaving as the wind behaves Posts: 9,308	There is a quite bloody battle there now and the action around the tunnel has been put to an end. At least this far. Just a small request to you fellow writers. I have never tried a post like that before and I'm not sure how well it managed to convey the situation and what happened in it. In Finnish I believe I would have been able to make it intelligible with all the changing perspectives and so on, but in English I'm not so sure about it. I have myself quite a clear vision of what happened there, but I would be very happy to have some feedback from that. So did you understand what happened, was it clear or baffling? What was badly / wrongly expressed, which parts were more like messing things up rather than making sense? I would appreciate any feedback from this as it was quite a complex task to me. Tevildo: Dorran might take it up from there now, I think. __________________ Upon the hearth the fire is red Beneath the roof there is a bed; But not yet weary are our feet...