Middle Earth Real-Estate

[Kuruharan]

You make up for your nasty habit of imprisoning guests with age-old wisdom and undeniable gravitas.

True.

Your decorating skills lean toward industrial and deconstructed styles.

I'm not sure it does the word "style" any favors.

You terrorize the neighbours

Darn right!

whether with loud music or worse

Worse.

and you don't give a hoot about zoning restrictions.

Those wretches told me I couldn't put my heads-on-spikes out on the patio anymore, to say nothing about them trying to make me get rid of my slave pits!

You belong in Isengard!

Hmm...that's not the first place that came to mind...

Oh, and we can't be friends anymore.

Not even just a little...?