The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Letters to the Editor...

These were not made up... much...

Dear sir,

I want to thank you for doing such an excellent job on this publication. I enjoy all aspects of it and the £1.20 price tag is incredibly modest.
Please keep up the good work!

Mrs. J. Jekkaalg

Dear Mrs. Jekkaalg,

Thank you for your letter regarding The Downer. You will receive a packet of floss.

The price tag was a popular subject this week...

Dear sir,

I think the £1.20 price tag is very good value! No other 1,000 page newspaper can boast as much as The Downer.

Mr. H. Haych.

Dear Mr. Haych,

Thank you for you comments. You will receive two balls of glue.

And again, the price was the subject of the next letter...

Dear sir,

I think the price of £1.20 is far too low! I would gladly sell my house and all my possessions to help The Downer.

Mr. Jeremy Mister

Dear Mr. Mister,

Thank you for your input. You get a table made of cheese.

But the letters weren’t all full of praise.

Dear sir,

I think The Downer is a load of old dwarf droppings!

Mr. Notthebarrowwighthonest

Dear Mr. Notthebarrowwighthonest,

I think you're a load of old Dwarf Droppings.