What do you assign to Mordor?

[Lalaith]

Early-morning clumsiness.

I had just got into a lovely rose-scented bath and I managed to drop my double expresso into it. So I got a murky brown bath instead. Twerp.

[Anguirel]

I assign Severus Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange. I have a feeling they're both going to be useful...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign viciously snappy patrons in libraries. When I say that somebody else had already taken The Constant Gardener out, I'm not lying. And even if I could, dear patrons, go into the system to find out who has it, I wouldn't. It's none of my business, certainly none of yours, and it's sickeningly unethical. Bad patrons! When I say the movie isn't in the library, it's not a conspiracy against you, so don't be mean to me or I'll call security just to be vindictive.

[Naria]

I am going to assign.....dry sockets. Yes you heard right.....you see, I have recently gotten my four wisdom teeth surgically removed and man does my one bottom one hurt like a B!! I have had to go in to the Dentist two times a week now for about 2 1/2 weeks to get packing in that one hole.

[Kath]

Not being able to remember anything for more than a couple of hours, and being so easily distracted by something really rather trivial (if a lot of fun) that you forget something really important.

[Lalwendë]

The woman who has unfortunately moved to a desk some fourty to fifty feet away from mine can go right to Mordor. From around 9am to 11am we have had the sound of her loud, braying voice incessantly bashing our eardrums. What makes it worse is when she feels the need to speak to her immediate colleagues, she stands up, thus projecting her voice even further. I feel really sorry for the poor person she was screeching at down the phone for about 15 minutes.

I tried to drown it out by listening to The Prodigy, but this did not work. Then a man came to drill holes in the desk behind me and I could still hear her!

I have found a lot of humour in the fact that as she sounds like a foghorn and is wearing a stripey T-shirt, she must be the Longships Lighthouse.

I feel myself turning into Windsor Davies by the minute. Any moment now I am going to stand up with an enraged, purple face and yell "Shaddup!".

[Elonve]

may i send grammer to mordor?
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buttsex Cams

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Elonve

may i send grammer to mordor?

Yes, you can definitely send grammar to Mordor...

[Kath]

may i send grammer to mordor?

Only if you spell it correctly

[JennyHallu]

She may send spelling to Mordor...

I assign the pathetic and stupid stubbornness of men about going to the doctor. I wake up this morning and husband says "I'm not going to work today". He's been sick since Sunday, and it's only been getting worse...I told him to call and get a doctor's appointment. He argued with me about it! Said he was fine and he'd just sit it out! When he finally gave in he tried to plead out on the notion that he didn't know the number. So I looked it up for him at work and called it back. GAH! What a dingbat! He calls me after his appointment to inform me they put him on a IV and pumped 3 L of fluid into his system, gave him a prescription for an antibiotic, and asked him to come back with a sample to make sure he hadn't got anything any more dangerous than it already looked. He did mention he felt immediately much better (no kidding...the boy is neither a cactus nor a camel...).

I squelched the urge to say "I told you so". See what a nice person I am?

So....frustrating.......

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

On the subject of medicine and anything pertaining to it all, I assign a hospital's ability to lose my insurance information and then send me a bill amounting to several hundred dollars more than it should have been.

[Elonve]

I send making beds to Mordor. Why make it when you're going to sleep in it again?

Strapless dresses. Okay they look good but I don't want to keep checking every few minites if it's still on me!

Dates that look down your blouse/top.
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COLORADO MARIJUANA DISPENSARY

[Lhunardawen]

Waking up with a sore throat and finding out a bit later that you're losing your voice, especially at a time when it's fun to just belt out a random line from a random song, and what you hear is "Squawk, squawk" and your siblings' laughter. No, that hasn't happened yet, but I can feel it coming.

Assign, consign, schmensign.

[Taralphiel]

I assign the multiple mirrors in department store change rooms. The alternate angles just don't do anything for my figure, to put it lightly *sigh*

I also assign being 'in between sizes' and how difficult it is to buy a decent work suit. Shopping for such things leaves me very tired and cranky...

- Tara

[Celuien]

One way ticket to Mordor, please, for the random creepy-looking guy who passed me in an empty hallway between the cafeteria and central supply late the other night and said, "Hey, no ring. Not married? What's your phone number?"

Also assigned to Mordor is that it only seems to be the random creepy guys who ask.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Elonve

Dates that look down your blouse/top.

Originally Posted by Celuien

Also assigned to Mordor is that it only seems to be the random creepy guys who ask.

I in turn assign the shame and taboo that has become part of the deal such that men can't affirm and celebrate the God-given beauty of women without being considered, or feeling like, lechers.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Celuien

"Hey, no ring. Not married? What's your phone number?"

But you are married, Cel.

I in turn assign the shame and taboo that has become part of the deal such that men can't affirm and celebrate the God-given beauty of women without being considered, or feeling like, lechers.

I thoroughly agree. Unfortunately, Mrs Saucepan doesn't quite see it the same way ...

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

But you are married, Cel.

No posthumous divorce after all? Lovely.

[Cailín]

my reputation.

Though it's not my fault. It's all prejudice.

[Formendacil]

I herewith assign giving someone positive rep when you VERY much meant to give them Negative Rep to Mordor. And, let's face it, I have considerable rep to give either way. This has me really irked- and the bounds of decency are such that I can't even say who it was for here without shaming myself as well as the recipient.

YOU know who you are! My words have a serious tone, are disapproving, and are in no way humourous. If only I could hope that you read this thread.

*IRKED*

[davem]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

I herewith assign giving someone positive rep when you VERY much meant to give them Negative Rep to Mordor. And, let's face it, I have considerable rep to give either way. This has me really irked- and the bounds of decency are such that I can't even say who it was for here without shaming myself as well as the recipient.

YOU know who you are! My words have a serious tone, are disapproving, and are in no way humourous. If only I could hope that you read this thread.

*IRKED*

Going to annoy Formy here, but I assign giving negative rep to Mordor. I've never done it & never will.

I also assign not giving out enough positive rep - which is something I'm guilty of. Must try harder

[Elonve]

(When going shopping for Unmentionables)
Clerks that kind of mill around you and say things like, " I think Miss will like this one." Pulls out some thing horrid, lacy and orange.
Or measuring your bust over and over again and saying things like, "Miss has grown a bit...I suggest a 38C."

So I send akward situations while shopping for unmentionables and clerks that mill around you to a fiery end at Mount Doom.
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Free **** Films

[the guy who be short]

When going shopping for Unmentionables

38C Trousers?! What weird customs you Yanks have.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign the obscene level of humidity that has my final project incomplete though I finished it last night. It's a book... my very last addition to it was a title, written neatly in the bottom corner in ink. The ink flatly refuses to dry. If I touch it, it will smear. Oh, and PS, it's due at 10:00.

[Lhunardawen]

I conassign things that seem so fair yet feel so foul somehow, and leave me questioning my soundness of mind - apart, of course, from the fact that I am insane. Confusing things, things that don't make sense...

And no, the latter doesn't include this conassignment. I swear it makes sense.

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by davem

Going to annoy Formy here, but I assign giving negative rep to Mordor. I've never done it & never will.

I also assign not giving out enough positive rep - which is something I'm guilty of. Must try harder

A noble quest... and one I'd agree with in most cases. 'tis a rare occurence indeed when I do neg-rep somebody... but occassionally people need a wakeup call.

And, anyway, the assignment here was of giving positive rep instead of negative rep. For the sake of completeness, I'll assign the opposite: giving negative rep when positive rep is meant. I've been the repicient of that, but never the guilty giver.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Temperatures on moving day that exceed 100 degrees. *feels melted*

[Diamond18]

Originally Posted by Celuien

Also assigned to Mordor is that it only seems to be the random creepy guys who ask.

Amen to that, sista. I assign the fact that guys who hit on me are almost always at least ten years older than me and not even close to being anything resembling my prefered type. (Which is -- around my age, not overly creepy, and without a girlfriend... or wife and children, thank you. Pretty simple, one would think, and one would be wrong.)

I would also assign the fact that whenever I go out to concerts with a friend of mine, she's the one guys always hit on -- but really, it's kind of nice. It's like she's my sheild, as long as she's around the creepy drunk guys will go after her. Part of me, the ego part, is saying, "Am I invisible or what?" and the other part, the smart part, is going, "Invisibility! Score!"

On a more serious note, I'd like to assign the woman who got really snotty and called me stupid last week when I told her that the book she wanted was checked out. She asked me if it was on the first or second floor and I told her that since it was checked out it wasn't actually in the building, and she said "If it was, helloooo," and then went on a mutter rant about stupid librarians who don't know anything. I refrained, just barely, from saying that if she had half a brain she could very well figure out for herself that since all non-fiction books are shelved upstairs the non-fiction book she wanted would be shelved upstairs, hypothetically speaking, if it were not checked out and was actually in the building. Helloooo. Get thee to Mordor, thou harpy.

[Oddwen]

Also assigned to Mordor is that it only seems to be the random creepy guys who ask.

Or octegenarians. Or women.

I've decided on a comeback, and am waiting to use it again - "Can I have your number?" "I'm number one!" "No, your seven digit number." "A million dollars!"

Temperatures on moving day that exceed 100 degrees. *feels melted*

Try working in fast food, in a building where the air conditioners don't work. I send to Mordor nearly fainting into a Whopper sandwich.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign myself. I deserve to be there.

[Macalaure]

In Germany, we have an institution called the TÜV (Technischer Überwachungsverein ≈ Technical Supervision Association). Every two years you have to take your car to the TÜV and let them check it (you aren't allowed to drive it if you don't).

Now this TÜV deserves to be assigned into the deepest, very deepest fiery pits of Morrdorr for not letting my sweet, little Peugeot pass this time.

I have to take it to an auto garage to have it fixed (for an amount of money that makes my stomach cramp...) and let them check it again afterwards.

[Roa_Aoife]

We have something like that in the US. It's called the DMV- Department of Motorvehicles- and if it hasn't already been assigned to Mordor, then it very well should be. The DMV is pure evil. Everyone who works there is sadistic. They have to be. It's one of the job requirements that you have to meet when you apply. It's an institution of pain and suffering, and fits perfectly in Mordor. The orcs will just love working there.

[JennyHallu]

It's called something different in every state, actually, and while some are awful, others aren't so bad. The one in Georgia can go to Mordor, though, and I hope it gets stepped on by a Balrog while it's there.

I also assign assignations done for no other reason than to use something in an AtM RP. That's not the point!

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

It's called something different in every state, actually, and while some are awful, others aren't so bad. The one in Georgia can go to Mordor, though, and I hope it gets stepped on by a Balrog while it's there.

I also assign assignations done for no other reason than to use something in an AtM RP. That's not the point!

Seconded and seconded. 'twas annoying last time around because those of us not RPGing were being intruded upon with what are technically offtopic posts (the topic is what things, in real life, belong in Mordor- not what things do you WANT in Mordor for a game there). 'tis annoying this time around because people are, essentially, cheating.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Roa_Aoife

We have something like that in the US. It's called the DMV- Department of Motorvehicles- and if it hasn't already been assigned to Mordor, then it very well should be. The DMV is pure evil. Everyone who works there is sadistic. They have to be. It's one of the job requirements that you have to meet when you apply. It's an institution of pain and suffering, and fits perfectly in Mordor. The orcs will just love working there.

Haha! Civil servants assigned to Mordor, eh? Well, let me tell you, many things about a civil servant's daily working life can go to Mordor too. Like the abuses of the English language in the name of business-speak. Ministerial Correspondence which seems to arrive with shorter and shorter deadlines every week - it used to be that you would have a few weeks to answer a letter or do a briefing, but now you have a day or even a few hours. And the way Ministers insist on their staff travelling to London for meetings and won't have one over the phone or by video. Oh, and the obsession with status and grade.

But the holidays and the hours are too good to pass up.

Anyway, think yourselves lucky. In the UK cars have to have an MOT every year, and you can almost guarantee that your local garage will find something wrong as its a good little earner for them in repairs.

I also assign to Mordor trying to fit as much as is possible into one little suitcase. You have to pack loads when you are dealing with the capricious English weather. You have to pack and repack to make sure everything fits. Even women find it difficult, who are trained in the fine art of cramming as much as is humanly possible into one handbag. And then you go out of the room for five minutes and when you come back both of your cats have curled up for a sleep on all your clean clothes.

[Diamond18]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

Seconded and seconded. 'twas annoying last time around because those of us not RPGing were being intruded upon with what are technically offtopic posts (the topic is what things, in real life, belong in Mordor- not what things do you WANT in Mordor for a game there). 'tis annoying this time around because people are, essentially, cheating.

I was not aware that we were only supposed to use anakronisms assigned in this thread. Therefore I find it superfluous to assign things purely for that. However, if I'm not supposed to be using switchblades unless they've been assigend here, then, uh, I assign them.

Now, because I'm feeling generous, in my mother's name I assign the springly task of having to dismantle and clean the wood burning stove (fireplace insert.) She's been complaining about it quite vocally. (And don't say, 'go help her, Di,' I already risked death-by-falling-from-roof and blindness-by-disentergrating-fiberglass-insulation -- not to mention encountered 4 spiders -- doing my part.)

[Elonve]

When waitressing

customers who don't tip well or at all. (gasp!)
rude comments.
getting yelled at ("I ordered Low-fat cream damn it!").
spilling things.
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Lovely Wendie99

[Taralphiel]

I assign 5: 30 AM wakeups. It's takes so long to get used to them. Yes, I'm lazy...*giggles*

I assign having two small days to do almost everything, and knowing before they begin you'll probably not have time to fit enough in. *sigh*

Such if life.

- Tara

[Celuien]

With few exceptions, almost any movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger belongs in Mordor for crimes against plot and character development.

Stereotyping is hereby assigned again. Very frustrating.

Signs on the turnpike that inform you erroneously that all traffic has to exit because the turnpike is closed for construction. Whoever turned the sign on forgot to add the detail that the closure was scheduled for June 11, not the 9th. I didn't make the mistake of getting off the road, but still, that sign could have caused problems.

[the guy who be short]

I'll assign film-stars-turned-politicians. Ugh.