What will you choose?

[Birdland]

However, if and when such a mysterious portal comes crashing into my bedroom, I can only assume that someone upstairs may want me to consider a change of venue, or else why would the portal be there?

Well, that does put a whole new spin on things, doesn't it?...

(CRASH!)

"BIRDIE!"

"huh...wha...hey, where's my roof?"

"YOU ARE TO GO TO MIDDLE EARTH NOW, BIRDIE."

"What? Right now?"

"WELL, YES, I CAN GIVE YOU A FEW MINUTES, BUT NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY."

"But where should I go? What will I do?"

"THE ONE WILL PROVIDE..."

Oh, yeah, as good as you 'provided' for me here? I haven't forgotten those times in Echo Park, ya know."

"GO!!!!!"

"OK, OK! Geez...What should I take?"

"JUST WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES."

(Birdie goes flying through the portal, without a handkerchief.)