Crazy Captions - Page 247 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-05-2006, 09:43 AM

Just when Boromir was striking his best pose, he steps on a spike. That'll teach him to do a concert in a ruined City.

Gil-Galad · 03-05-2006, 01:59 PM

Boromit and many other heroes try to gain money to rebuild Osgiliath by launching an concert called Live Anduin

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-05-2006, 02:35 PM

Boromir:
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too!
I'll see you on the dark side of the Rhûn!

Mithalwen · 03-05-2006, 02:37 PM

Boromir may have been the disco king but at heart he was a New Romantic......

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-05-2006, 02:51 PM

Boromir: This next one is called, "a new picture!"

Gollum: What do you mean, 'Move that tree'?

OR

Gollum: Master can stop looking for his pet rabbit now...

Meela · 03-05-2006, 03:26 PM

Gollum gets a whiff of an Ent's foot fungus.

Valesse · 03-05-2006, 04:13 PM

The Arbor Day advertising commitee was quickly running out of ideas...

Glirdan · 03-05-2006, 04:56 PM

Gollum attempts to resurect an old time favorite game...hide and seek.

or

Gollum attempts to resurect an old time favorite game..... head shrinking!!

littlemanpoet · 03-05-2006, 05:41 PM

Gollum: Oooooh, cooked rabbit, sssssss, we're going to be sssick, my preciousss.

OR

Gollum: These glassss eyesss hurts my head, precioussssss!

Farael · 03-05-2006, 05:52 PM

Gollum: We needs not that ugly ring, GOLLUM! GOLLUM!... we haves the new preciousss.... big, tall preciouss... gollum!! Master can keep ugly ring.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-05-2006, 10:51 PM

Gollum: If we push this log hard enough, we'll squish the thief Baggins and the fat hobbit!

Sméagol: No, no! The trajectory is all wrong, precious.

EDIT: This was my 4000th post!

Gurthang · 03-05-2006, 10:55 PM

Boromir pic:

Boromir: "I forgot my sword, so I'm going to have to Rock Your Socks Off!"

OR

Boromir: "A day may come when the world of guitars will fall (apart)! A day may come when the playing skill of Men will fail! But it is not this day! Today... We Play!"

OR

Boromir had to tear the entire city apart to find his precious guitar.

Gollum pic:

Gollum: "And bark doesn't taste very good, does it precious."

OR

Gollum: "I like this type of tree... it really offsets my skin-tone. Wait! Is that camera on! NOOOOO!!!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-06-2006, 12:37 AM

Gollum: Maybe the precious is under here...

OR

The pressure was too much for Gollum, so he was banging his head against a tree.

Lhunardawen · 03-06-2006, 02:06 AM

Gollum wanted some exercise for his teeth, but he never thought he'd overdo it.

OR

Gollum's going vegetarian.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-06-2006, 04:52 AM

Scrat--I mean Gollum--continues to look for his hoard of fishies.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 03-06-2006, 08:27 AM

Treebeard steps on Gollum's toes—loud profanities ensue.

Morsul the Dark · 03-06-2006, 08:32 AM

SMeagel(in quaint british accent):I do say this is quite distressing.
Gollum:I agree Old chap but we must continue to play dumb in order to lure those vulgar hobbitses....I mean hobbits into a false sense of security.

Sam:Where are you stinker?!

Gollum:here silly hobbitses must keep up yesssss...(whispers) bloody 'ell that voice is quite aggitating

Anguirel · 03-06-2006, 08:32 AM

The riddle of the Entwives is solved...they ran off en masse to cohabit with that Don Giovanni Smeagol...

The Only Real Estel · 03-06-2006, 12:04 PM

Gollum: "No I'm not done yet!!!"

Bêthberry · 03-06-2006, 12:20 PM

Gollem: "Eat tree bark? What do you think I am? A vegetarian?"

OR:

Gollem to Tollers: "What? You want me to pose touching this pinus nigra for my last picture?"

Maeggaladiel · 03-06-2006, 12:58 PM

Smeagol takes up Tree Stealing in order to fund his ring addiction. Only 60 more firs, 12 oaks, and 7 larches left before he had enough money to buy the preciouss back from Frodo.

OR

"Smeagol can run, but he can't hide from Gollum, precious!!!"
"He finds us again!! Has to be a way to get rid of him, preciouss!"

HerenIstarion · 03-06-2006, 01:00 PM

Sam: Easy, Gollum, easy... (turning to Frodo) ... I told you he's stronger when mad, Mr Frodo, I told you! You should have never tried to make him swear by his precious!
Frodo: Good Smeagol, nice master... (turning to Sam) ... Stronger?! Stronger?I He took that whole pine out, roots and all! Good Smeagol... nice... What shall we do now?
Sam: Easy, Gollum, easy... I'd say run for it, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: What if he's also faster when mad? Good Smeagol, nice master...
Sam: Dunno, Mr Frodo... easy, Go...ouch...that hurt...no, stop that... a-ah... run Mr. Frodo, ru...ouch...

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-06-2006, 01:33 PM

Gollum realised that, once again, the thing he kicked thinking to be a football, was, in fact, a bee's nest.

Lalwendë · 03-06-2006, 02:25 PM

The burly Highlanders quaked in their boots as Gollum decided to take part in the Caber Toss event.

mormegil · 03-06-2006, 02:45 PM

(Sorry in advance for the potty humor, again

)

Gollum: If you can find a better tree with less visibility, you let me know.

or

Smeagol: Nasty bark, not good eats at all.

Gollum: NO! Not at all precious still it's better than Sam's tatter stew.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 03-06-2006, 04:38 PM

Gollum steps out of the shower just as Sam walks into the bathroom.

or

Gollum is offended by Sam's lack of enthusiasm for the carpet design he just picked out.

or

Gollum can't believe that no-one likes his watercolour depiction of The Anduin from the air.

or

Gollum fearfully shows Sam the inky stain he got on his new shirt.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-06-2006, 06:11 PM

Gollum: Isn't this the part where the ugly beast attacks us from behind, eh, precious?

Parmastahir · 03-06-2006, 10:10 PM

"Ooohh!! Samwise, the gardener, thinks he knows everything. Well, I'm telling you that this is a blue spruce. It's the same color as my eyes!"

Valesse · 03-06-2006, 10:13 PM

Few knew that Gollum actually presented Frodo Baggins with a choice between his bark and his bite. Its assumed the Ring-bearer made the right decision and opted against the frightening husk.

Valier · 03-06-2006, 10:20 PM

Had to continue the Gollum theme!!

Sorry it's so small!

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-07-2006, 12:36 AM

Gollum at tree pic:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

The burly Highlanders quaked in their boots as Gollum decided to take part in the Caber Toss event.

Unfortunately he came to the 'Cave Troll' event. A thing that involved Cave Trolls throwing trees around... It was not a pleasant sight.

Other Gollum Pic:

Mr. Smeagol was trying on some of the latest wigs.

Meela · 03-07-2006, 02:58 AM

New Gollum pic:

Gollum's underpants were clearly not washed with the same product as Gandalf's robes...

Nilpaurion Felagund · 03-07-2006, 06:04 AM

Sméagol prepares to demonstrate proper carwashing techniques.

Beanamir of Gondor · 03-07-2006, 06:43 AM

Gollum: [makes engine noises] Vroom, vroom, vroom! [pauses] Wait, we don't have carses in Middlearth, precious....

(....okay so it looks like a steering wheel....)

Holbytlass · 03-07-2006, 08:22 AM

Now to snap stupid fat hobbittesses' naked butt with his towel!!

Hookbill the Goomba · 03-07-2006, 10:10 AM

Gollum: Now we puts the filthy Hobbitses into this sack and throws them off a cliffses!

OR

Gollum: Aww! My favourite rabbitses! We loves it soo much. *crack*... ... ... oops...

Rune Son of Bjarne · 03-07-2006, 11:40 AM

Had Gollum known that he over night had grown a tale, he would never had put his teeth in what appeared to be a nice pice of meat.

Estelyn Telcontar · 03-07-2006, 12:01 PM

Gollum's hitchhiking motto: Have towel, will travel.

The Only Real Estel · 03-07-2006, 02:06 PM

Middle-Earth Fear Factor
--------------------------
Gollum (host): "And now for the final competition between Master & Fat Hobbit. You must try to eat this disgustingly slimy slug without puking. Why? Because the only way we'll get good ratings is by shocking our audience so we try our best..."

The Elf-warrior · 03-07-2006, 02:07 PM

Gollum: "Wicked tricksy Dracula! He didn't give us the ratses he promised uss!"

03-05-2006, 09:43 AM	#9841
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Just when Boromir was striking his best pose, he steps on a spike. That'll teach him to do a concert in a ruined City. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-05-2006, 01:59 PM	#9842
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Boromit and many other heroes try to gain money to rebuild Osgiliath by launching an concert called Live Anduin __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

03-05-2006, 02:35 PM	#9843
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Boromir: And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too! I'll see you on the dark side of the Rhûn! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-05-2006, 02:37 PM	#9844
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,459	showing my age.... Boromir may have been the disco king but at heart he was a New Romantic...... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

03-05-2006, 02:51 PM	#9845
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Boromir: This next one is called, "a new picture!" Gollum: What do you mean, 'Move that tree'? OR Gollum: Master can stop looking for his pet rabbit now... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-05-2006, 03:26 PM	#9846
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	Gollum gets a whiff of an Ent's foot fungus. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

03-05-2006, 04:13 PM	#9847
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 614	The Arbor Day advertising commitee was quickly running out of ideas... __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

03-05-2006, 04:56 PM	#9848
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	Gollum attempts to resurect an old time favorite game...hide and seek. or Gollum attempts to resurect an old time favorite game..... head shrinking!! __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

03-05-2006, 05:41 PM	#9849
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Gollum: Oooooh, cooked rabbit, sssssss, we're going to be sssick, my preciousss. OR Gollum: These glassss eyesss hurts my head, precioussssss!

03-05-2006, 05:52 PM	#9850
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,538	Gollum: We needs not that ugly ring, GOLLUM! GOLLUM!... we haves the new preciousss.... big, tall preciouss... gollum!! Master can keep ugly ring. __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

03-05-2006, 10:51 PM	#9851
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Physics. Gollum: If we push this log hard enough, we'll squish the thief Baggins and the fat hobbit! Sméagol: No, no! The trajectory is all wrong, precious. EDIT: This was my 4000th post! __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good... Last edited by Nilpaurion Felagund; 03-06-2006 at 05:06 AM. Reason: see above

03-05-2006, 10:55 PM	#9852
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Sorry, I have to do a few for that awesome Boromir pic. Boromir pic: Boromir: "I forgot my sword, so I'm going to have to Rock Your Socks Off!" OR Boromir: "A day may come when the world of guitars will fall (apart)! A day may come when the playing skill of Men will fail! But it is not this day! Today... We Play!" OR Boromir had to tear the entire city apart to find his precious guitar. Gollum pic: Gollum: "And bark doesn't taste very good, does it precious." OR Gollum: "I like this type of tree... it really offsets my skin-tone. Wait! Is that camera on! NOOOOO!!!" __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

03-06-2006, 12:37 AM	#9853
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gollum: Maybe the precious is under here... OR The pressure was too much for Gollum, so he was banging his head against a tree. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-06-2006, 02:06 AM	#9854
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Gollum wanted some exercise for his teeth, but he never thought he'd overdo it. OR Gollum's going vegetarian.

03-06-2006, 04:52 AM	#9855
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Ice Age 2 . . . erm, I mean Third Age. Scrat--I mean Gollum--continues to look for his hoard of fishies. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-06-2006, 08:27 AM	#9856
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Treebeard steps on Gollum's toes—loud profanities ensue. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

03-06-2006, 08:32 AM	#9857
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	SMeagel(in quaint british accent):I do say this is quite distressing. Gollum:I agree Old chap but we must continue to play dumb in order to lure those vulgar hobbitses....I mean hobbits into a false sense of security. Sam:Where are you stinker?! Gollum:here silly hobbitses must keep up yesssss...(whispers) bloody 'ell that voice is quite aggitating __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

03-06-2006, 08:32 AM	#9858
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	The riddle of the Entwives is solved...they ran off en masse to cohabit with that Don Giovanni Smeagol... __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

03-06-2006, 12:04 PM	#9859
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Gollum: "No I'm not* done yet!!!*"

03-06-2006, 12:20 PM	#9860
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	Gollem: "Eat tree bark? What do you think I am? A vegetarian?" OR: Gollem to Tollers: "What? You want me to pose touching this pinus nigra for my last picture?" __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

03-06-2006, 12:58 PM	#9861
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 500	Smeagol takes up Tree Stealing in order to fund his ring addiction. Only 60 more firs, 12 oaks, and 7 larches left before he had enough money to buy the preciouss back from Frodo. OR "Smeagol can run, but he can't hide from Gollum, precious!!!" "He finds us again!! Has to be a way to get rid of him, preciouss!" __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

03-06-2006, 01:00 PM	#9862
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,244	Sam: Easy, Gollum, easy... (turning to Frodo) ... I told you he's stronger when mad, Mr Frodo, I told you! You should have never tried to make him swear by his precious! Frodo: Good Smeagol, nice master... (turning to Sam) ... Stronger?! Stronger?I He took that whole pine out, roots and all! Good Smeagol... nice... What shall we do now? Sam: Easy, Gollum, easy... I'd say run for it, Mr. Frodo. Frodo: What if he's also faster when mad? Good Smeagol, nice master... Sam: Dunno, Mr Frodo... easy, Go...ouch...that hurt...no, stop that... a-ah... run Mr. Frodo, ru...ouch... __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

03-06-2006, 01:33 PM	#9863
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gollum realised that, once again, the thing he kicked thinking to be a football, was, in fact, a bee's nest. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-06-2006, 02:25 PM	#9864
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	The burly Highlanders quaked in their boots as Gollum decided to take part in the Caber Toss event. __________________ Gordon's alive!

03-06-2006, 02:45 PM	#9865
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,651	(Sorry in advance for the potty humor, again ) Gollum: If you can find a better tree with less visibility, you let me know. or Smeagol: Nasty bark, not good eats at all. Gollum: NO! Not at all precious still it's better than Sam's tatter stew. __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

03-06-2006, 04:38 PM	#9866
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	I sense a sitcom! Gollum steps out of the shower just as Sam walks into the bathroom. or Gollum is offended by Sam's lack of enthusiasm for the carpet design he just picked out. or Gollum can't believe that no-one likes his watercolour depiction of The Anduin from the air. or Gollum fearfully shows Sam the inky stain he got on his new shirt. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

03-06-2006, 06:11 PM	#9867
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Horror films . . . Gollum: Isn't this the part where the ugly beast attacks us from behind, eh, precious? __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-06-2006, 10:10 PM	#9868
Parmastahir Wight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Green Hill Country Posts: 196	"Ooohh!! Samwise, the gardener, thinks he knows everything. Well, I'm telling you that this is a blue spruce. It's the same color as my eyes!" __________________ Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends.

03-06-2006, 10:13 PM	#9869
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 614	Few knew that Gollum actually presented Frodo Baggins with a choice between his bark and his bite. Its assumed the Ring-bearer made the right decision and opted against the frightening husk. __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

03-07-2006, 02:58 AM	#9872
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	New Gollum pic: Gollum's underpants were clearly not washed with the same product as Gandalf's robes... __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

03-07-2006, 06:04 AM	#9873
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	He needs a music video. Sméagol prepares to demonstrate proper carwashing techniques. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

03-07-2006, 06:43 AM	#9874
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	Gollum: [makes engine noises] Vroom, vroom, vroom! [pauses] Wait, we don't have carses in Middlearth, precious.... (....okay so it looks like a steering wheel....) __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

03-07-2006, 08:22 AM	#9875
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Now to snap stupid fat hobbittesses' naked butt with his towel!! __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

03-07-2006, 10:10 AM	#9876
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gollum: Now we puts the filthy Hobbitses into this sack and throws them off a cliffses! OR Gollum: Aww! My favourite rabbitses! We loves it soo much. crack... ... ... oops... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

03-07-2006, 12:01 PM	#9878
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	Gollum's hitchhiking motto: Have towel, will travel. __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'