The Middle-Earth American Football Tournament

[Sleepy Ranger]

Offence

Center - The Barrow-Wight
Guard - Saucepan Man
Guard - Rimbaud
Tackle - Morai
Tackle - Heren Istarion
Tight End - Meneltarmacil
Reciever - Glirdan
Reciever - Wilwarin538
Halfback - Roa_Aoife
Fullback - THE Ka
Quarterback - Sleepy Ranger

Defence

Tackle - Morai
Tackle - Heren Istarion
End - Hookbill the Goomba
End - Elu Ancalime
Linebacker - Alcarillo
Linebacker - Orominuialwen
Linebacker - Nilpaurion Felagund
Cornerback - Gil-Galad
Cornerback - Anguirel
Safety - Formendacil
Safety - Farael

[The Saucepan Man]

I have neither any knowledge of, nor any particular interest in, American Football, so I imagine that I will make a dreadful player ...

I thought that it was a strange game, but there are two teams per team ...!!??

[Anguirel]

With a bit of overlap. Bizarre...

Ah well, I never excelled in sports coverage anyway. I'll continue to produce human interest stories and transfer rumours...

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

I have neither any knowledge of, nor any particular interest in, American Football, so I imagine that I will make a dreadful player ...

I thought that it was a strange game, but there are two teams per team ...!!??

Don't blame me I got all my information from Roa_Aoife. Besides Sportspan Man, you're an athletic man I daresay you'd be a real help to the team!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Sleepy Ranger

Besides Sportspan Man, you're an athletic man ...

*Spits cigarette out and splutters beer all over the screen*

[the phantom]

I believe in this tournament we will see teams of men rise to the top to challenge the likes of Angband and Tol-In-Gauroth. Gondor, Arnor, and Numenor all have a good shot at winning, though Arnor's chances are severely damaged after learning that their star receivers, Valandil and Aragorn II, will play for Rivendell where they were raised. Because of that, I will name Numenor and Gondor as my good-guy favorites.

The elves can match up at the skill positions (WR, RB, CB, S), but their offensive and defensive lines will lose the battle at the line of scrimmage. Elves simply aren't weighty, where as teams from Gondor and Numenor feature lines of men who average around 6'6" 310 lbs.

Sure, a speedy elf at the rush end position or a safety or linebacker on a blitz might be able to make his way to the quarterback on a slow developing pass play such as a play action pass or a seven step drop, but I imagine the Numenorians and men of Gondor are smart enough to use the advantage they have and run the ball against teams of elves, hobbits, and smaller men. I expect Gondor's running back, Earnur, and Numenor's running back, Ar-Pharazon, to rack up big numbers during the next few weeks.

Teams that could challenge Numenor and Gondor-

Isengard- Saruman has genetically altered his orcs to be larger, so their lines will stand up better than others, but I still think Numenor and Gondor will be able to run the ball on them effectively, not to mention that Isengard's defensive backs will have quite a bit of trouble keeping a handle on Numenor and Gondor's primary wide receivers (Amandil and Tar-Palantir for Numenor, Faramir and Anarion for Gondor).

Valmar and Valimar- Both teams have some good talent, but I think they, as a whole, think and move too slowly to beat a good football team. It's too bad Tulkas, Orome, and Eonwe didn't transfer to a team that could make use of their abilities.

Fangorn- The ents are very imposing, however I don't see them having what it takes. Most of the time they are lethargic, but when they aren't they tend to get penalized. It is illegal to pick up a player and throw him, to restrain him from behind, or to strike him with a limb. Ents are so oversized that they tend to do these things without meaning to, and the refs won't let them get away with it. In addition, the football is so small to them that most ents have difficulty hanging on to it.

Tol-In-Gauroth- Sauron's wolves match up well with Gondor and Numenor. Sauron has a lot of wolves to choose from, and so has found himself a team with an excellent blend of size, strength, and speed. Numenor and Gondor will not be able to dominate them at the line, and will not be able to run past them with speed. Tol-In-Gauroth could very well end up winning this tournament.

Angband- Anband is obviously a heavy hitter. Its balrog offensive line will clear the way for any running back. Though Melkor is the quarterback, expect him to do most of the rushing himself, Michael Vick style. Gothmog and Durin's Bane are the rush ends on defense. Expect them to put a lot of pressure on opposing quarterbacks and shut down any running play to the outside.

[Roa_Aoife]

I thought that it was a strange game, but there are two teams per team ...!!??

Indeed. Actually there can be three teams- A team specially trained for offense, a team specially trained for defense, and a team specially trained for punting and kicking.

Each team is specially trained for it's task. When our team has possesion, the offensive team is on the field, to do their job of moving the ball to their End Zone. When the other team has the ball, our defensive team comes on the field to stop them from getting to ours. When we need a field goal, the Kicking team comes out. It's almost like a turn based RPG... except faster.

[the phantom]

Yes, Sauce, there are far more things to consider in American football. Not only are there multiple teams, but there are different packages of different teams.

For instance, when your team is on defense and it is 3rd down with only one yard to go to gain a first down, you put in your goal line defense, which has perhaps an extra defensive tackle and an extra middle line-backer. However, if it is 3rd down and 15 yards to go, you might put in a dime defense, featuring two extra cornerbacks rather than outside linebackers.

It's all about matchups. If the other team puts certain personel on the field, you must counter them. Also, if the other team shifts from the I-formation to single-back shotgun formation, your defense must quickly make the necessary changes before the play begins or risk giving up a score.

American football is like chess played with bodies instead of chess pieces. That's why I like it more than soccer. It's more complicated and more difficult to completely grasp. It is... more intelligent.

[JennyHallu]

Sauce, before these sports fanatics scar you for life, I feel I must make clear to you the truth: American football is described as a thinking, strategic game -- just remember. Playing chess is a mental exercise. Watching a chess tournament, unless you're a chess player, is boring.

Offensive American football, unless you are yourself a player, is made up of four basic plays: throw the ball a long way, throw the ball a little way, try to run the ball up through the center of a bunch of men trying to knock you over, and finally, try to run the ball around the side of the bunch of men.

Defensive American football is much simpler. Find the gentleman carrying the ball and knock him over. The sooner you do this, the better. If you injure him and aren't caught, even better, because he's out of the way.

And the universal rule of football: The last five minutes will take longer than the whole of the rest of the last quarter.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Alright I've simmed the first few matches, I'll do the rest and type up the summary tomorrow. Until then, here are the scores-

Opening Match: The Barrow-Downs (35) vs. Erebor (13)
Match 2: Gondolin (22) vs. Lothlorien (21)
Match 3: Woodhall (0) vs. Tol-In-Gauroth (14)
Match 4: Arnor (21) vs. Mirkwood (14)
Match 5: Valimar (7) vs. Numenor (7) [Half-Time]

[the phantom]

Oh, just so everyone knows, don't put any money on a hobbit team.

They were somehow able to do well in soccer, who knows exactly how, but in American football they have absolutely zero chance.

I'm not all that big, but when I play football with younger cousins or kids that I tutor, I am able to score a touchdown literally any time I choose to. A twelve year old is entirely incapable of tackling me, much less a large football player.

If they put their arms around my legs I simply put one foot in front of the other like usual and break right through their hold. If they jump up on my upper body I use my free hand and push them right off, or I simply carry them with me. In my experience, it takes sometimes three, but usually four twelve year olds working in unison to bring me down, but that's only when I have allowed them to catch me in the first place, and when I'm not being my roughest with them. If I really wanted to, I could give the stiff arm to any would be tackler and shove them straight to the ground, or put my shoulder into them and knock them off their feet and the wind out of their lungs.

That's what would happen in any game featuring hobbits versus men, elves, werewolves, or balrogs. It would be absurdly easy to defeat a team of hobbits. Even a hobbit that can jump very very high could not possibly hope to catch a pass six or seven feet in the air. So, quite simply, all a taller team would have to do is send their receivers straight to the end zone and lob the ball up in the air for them to catch. The hobbits would have no way of keeping the receiver from catching the ball, except for tripping them or shoving them before the ball arrives, which is illegal.

Any halfway decent athlete who has played football with children or young teenagers knows how much of a mismatch it is. If someone like Numenor were to play a hobbit team in American football, I seriously imagine that the score would be something in the neighborhood of 200 to 0.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Any halfway decent athlete who has played football with children or young teenagers knows how much of a mismatch it is. If someone like Numenor were to play a hobbit team in American football, I seriously imagine that the score would be something in the neighborhood of 200 to 0.

I'd be categorized as a young teenager but I daresay I could take you down. Of course I suggest we ought to ignore the fact that I'm quite tall and strong for my age... I blame popcorn for this. And of course the fact that I play quite a lot of sports. ^_^

Well okay so its still pretty much just one young teen in a million who'd be able to handle his own so I suppose your point still stands.