The Hobbit Survivor

[Elu Ancalime]

*poke* and the loser is....
________
Stocks To Buy Now

[Glirdan]

And the loser is two people, for I now cast my vote and cast-out post (I've been studying for exams).

++Thranduil

For being the father of the little prissy boy elf, Legolas.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, two people were to be cast out. This time, they were from the rival races: an Elf and a Dwarf. Thrain and Thranduil were the one to be evicted. "Thrain is really starting to smell. We NEED to get rid of these dead people! And Thranduil is just being his annoying little self. Not to mention he's the father of a little prissy boy elf!!" The votes that night at tribal council were still a little spread however:

Elrond - 2
Belladonna - 1
Thranduil - 5
Dori - 4
Thrain - 5

With that, Thranduil was usurped from his throne in Mirkwood and Thrain went back to to Aule and lived with him while the powers of the Valar lasted.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Girion
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg
Elvenking
Thrain (father of Thorin)

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves/Bad Guys
Balin
Bombur
Dori
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Men/Elves/Others
Beorn
Elrond
Eagle Lord
Roac
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

We have 15 more contestants. Get voting!!

[Anguirel]

Hang on. I have an objection. By Saucey's count, since when no votes have changed, Dori was also on 5. This should be a triple eviction...

[Anguirel]

I've recounted and, alas, Saucey got it wrong. Dori is still with us, boringly enough.

I hope that the goody-goodies who failed to take down Dori because he's a "sweet, nice little Hobbit-carrier" will not be so squeamish about another candidate.

I speak of he who said the following immortal slur:

"The moment I set eyes on him, bobbing about on the doormat, I had my doubts. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar!"

In this way Gloin, the haughty aristocratic warrior of the line of Durin

1. Endorsed theft, specifically burglary

2. Discriminated against a co-worker on a height-related basis ("bobbing about on the doormat")

3. Implied discrimination on racial basis (that Bilbo is a Hobbit)

4. Displayed hauteur and contempt for honest trade off which Gloin and his penniless aristo leech friends feed, to wit grocery

5. Mocked home comforts, to wit doormat

6. Showed hypocrisy ("I had my doubts"-why didn't he raise them earlier?)

This line alone is a fine basis for eviction. Later evidence also shows that his son Gimli-though thankfully intelligent and open-minded enough to change-was brought up to be a hardened Dwarf supremacist.

In conclusion-

++GLOIN

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Since William is obviously the intellectual
of the two remaining trolls, having the foresight
to plan for ah, foraging, by moving down from
the hills above the East Road.

And since there must be a limited supply of
sheep on the island, it's best to cut down on
the number of trolls, particularly since they
might get bored with eating mutton or if the
sheep supply ran short they'd
look for other kinds of snacks. While men and elf
survivors might be safe, dwarves (especially the dead
ones) and burrahobbits might be in danger of
sudden removal as contestants.




+ + Tom

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

I've recounted and, alas, Saucey got it wrong. Dori is still with us, boringly enough.

Doh! Must have been all those changes of vote.

Still, good result yesterday when all is said and done.

As for Gloin:

Originally Posted by Anguirel

1. Endorsed theft, specifically burglary

The quoted statement doesn't imply anything of the kind. The Quest of Erebor itself, being as it required a burglar, admittedly does implicitly condone theft. But that implicates all of the remaining Dwarves.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

2. Discriminated against a co-worker on a height-related basis ("bobbing about on the doormat")

Since when was bobbing on doormats exclusively the preserve of the vertically-challenged? The words are merely descriptive of the state in which Gloin first encountered Bilbo.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

3. Implied discrimination on racial basis (that Bilbo is a Hobbit)

Not really. The statement is directed specifically towards Bilbo, not Hobbits in general.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

4. Displayed hauteur and contempt for honest trade off which Gloin and his penniless aristo leech friends feed, to wit grocery

Gloin was merely stating that Bilbo seemed more like a grocer than a burglar to him. A reasonable comment to make in the circumstances and not, in itself, insulting towards grocers.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

5. Mocked home comforts, to wit doormat

Eh? You are definately reading far too much into this.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

6. Showed hypocrisy ("I had my doubts"-why didn't he raise them earlier?)

He was showing courtesy and restraint. He was prepared to give Bilbo a chance to show his mettle as a burglar.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

Later evidence also shows that his son Gimli-though thankfully intelligent and open-minded enough to change-was brought up to be a hardened Dwarf supremacist.

Hmm, you rather over-egg the case here. But, to the extent that there is truth in what you say, the same applies to most Dwarves and certainly to the majority of Thorin's company (Balin being the possible exception).

I hold no particular candle for Gloin, although I feel that he ought to be accorded due respect as Gimli's father. And his words to Frodo at Rivendell show that he has mellowed with age. In any event, there are a number of Dwarves that I would rather see go before Gloin.

As I mentioned before, Fili and Kili are both brave and noble Dwarves, but they are pretty much interchangeable so we can afford to lose one of them. Randomly, I shall choose:

++ KILI

[Anguirel]

What was the point in splitting the anti-Dwarf vote?

At this rate pro-Dwarfers will combine for an all Dwarf final.

In the end, Gloin is an inessential Dwarf and will have to be gone. It does not matter whether he goes sooner or later. What does matter is if the current trend continues, and, say, the Bullroarer is evicted instead.

The only possible good I can see coming out of this is a Gloin-Kili double eviction...

[Formendacil]

Rats.

After a recount, I discover that, yes, my candidate Beorn was, indeed, evicted, but that he's quite alone in that fact.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The votes at the tribal council that night were spread out. There was much talk about "dwarf-culling"- a motion heavily objected to by various members of that species, but it was not the day for a Dwarf's demise, but for the end of Beorn, who had remained around far too long- so said his detractors.

Kili: IIII
Tom: I
Beorn: IIIII III

In a fit of indignation, Beorn turned into a bear, departed the island, climbed a mountain, and was never seen again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Girion
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg
Elvenking
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Beorn

The remaining contestants:

Dwarves/Bad Guys
Balin
Bombur
Dori
Fili
Gloin
Kili
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Tom

Men/Elves/Others
Elrond
Eagle Lord
Roac
Belladonna Took
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

We have 14 more contestants. Time to start getting rid of another.

[Kuruharan]

I bring grave news from F.A.T. In the drunken celebration after the bestial barbarian's departure, a vicious brawl ensued. F.A.T. has now split in two. There now exists the original F.A.T. and the militant centrist fringe REvenge After Losing, otherwise known as R.E.A.L. F.A.T. Apparently the leader of these wild-eyed, spud-throwing radicals has suffered much harm in a Cassandra-esque role in some silly game known as werewolf. This unhinged extremism has lead this group to demand the instant eviction of the...

++ Chief Warg

The threatened lawsuits and random acts of potato violence have caused the producers to instantly cast themselves on the mercy of their therapists and have started chugging a volatile cocktail of Prozac, Ritalin, and sulfuric acid.

Really...this lupine fiend must go before our trusty and well-beloved producers spontaneously combust.

[Anguirel]

One tribe now outnumbers the other two to one. Dwarfs form almost half the contestants. Everyone, we have to grow up and unite behind a single Dwarf bandwagon if we wish Kuruharan to be refused his wish. That's the way it goes.

++BOMBUR

[WaynetheGoblin]

++cheif warg
well i never liked him.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

While Bombur is one of the more
interesting dwarfs everyone else
on the island will be on half rations
until he goes. So:

+ + Bombur