Be careful what you wish for...

[Gil-Galad]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that the Entwives would have been at the battle of Isengard.

Your wish is granted, but alas, the Entwives mocked how the Ents did the battle and they loss, and Saruman regained power and destroyed Rohan



I wish that The Evil Men were more victorious

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Gil-Galad

I wish that The Evil Men were more victorious

This time I shall grant your wish myself.
When the soon to be King Eleassar approached the fleet of Evil Men that was heading to Minas Ithil thorugh the river, followed by the army of the dead he was surprised to find that all the Evil Men had bought replicas of his sword on E-Bay. Using such powerful swords they were not afraid of the army of the dead nor the now-never-to-be-king Eleassar and defeated them. Later they reached Minas Ithil and destroyed it to the last hut.

I wish Theoden had survived the battle and lived a long and prosperous life

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Theoden had survived the battle and lived a long and prosperous life

<<< It is done! >>>

In the Druadan Forest, Ghan-Buri-Ghan reveals the great secret of the Woses to Theoden: the Adamantium Fern. Found growing on ancient stone statues and woven into cloth, the material is similar to mithril - except it's pink.

The crafty Theoden trades some shiny beads for a set of Adamantium Fern underwear.

During the battle of the Pelennor Fields, the Witch-king of Angmar assails Theoden. His steed, Snowmane, rears and is struck by a dart. Snowmane falls to the ground, crushing Theoden underneath him. With the weight of his now dead horse holding him down, it would take quick thinking or great chance to survive.

Possessing both qualities enables Theoden to wield Herugrim and slay the Fell-beast and buck its master when it, carelessly believing that Theoden was fatally crushed, moves in for the final kill. In happy disbelief, Eowyn and Merry realize that the King is not dead and help him out from under his steed.

By now, the Witch-king has regained himself and moved in to attack. Theoden holds his ground in defiance which surprises the Lord of the Nazgul. His blows bounce off the wily King as if they're whispers. The Witch-king then pronounces to the Lord of the Mark that no Man may kill him.

Theoden then announces that he is no man. With this he uncloaks to reveal his underwear and proclaims that "I am no man, I am a fancy lad!" With this, the Witch-kings head explodes and is completely vanquished.

After this battle concludes and Sauron is defeated at the Battle of the Morannon, Theoden abdicates his throne to Eomer. He then turns his talents to his newest passion - lavish theatrical productions. With his signature pink overtones, Theoden becomes the embodiment of a kinder, gentler Middle Earth.

[Ordimor]

OOPs, forgot to make a wish.

I wish that Aragorn would wash his hair. I mean c'mon now - this whole slogan of his "I wash it once a year if it needs it or not" is way not cool

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that Aragorn would wash his hair. I mean c'mon now - this whole slogan of his "I wash it once a year if it needs it or not" is way not cool

Granted. But as he washes his hair it all falls out and he becomes bald. No one recognises him and Arwen runs away from him. In despair he throws himself off a cliff and so no longer helps Middle Earth to overthrow Middle Earth. Sorry folks.

I wish Radagast had helped the Fellowship more.

[HerenIstarion]

I wish Radagast had helped the Fellowship more.

Your wish is granted. Radagast provides oliphaunts as beasts of burden and steeds for the Fellowship, including White Oliphaunt for Gandalf to ride on. Unfortunately, Fellowship's journey is turned into blundering and making noise like, well, elephants, that all servants of Sauron can hear a mile off, so the Quest fails...

I wish Blue Wizards would send a word to the Council of Elrond about their doings

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

I wish Blue Wizards would send a word to the Council of Elrond about their doings

As you wish . . .

However, the word the mysterious wizards send is indeed blue, and so shocked are the participants at the uncharacteristic, unTolkien-like language that they immediately cancel the Council in shock and embarassment and disperse. Thus, no decision is made on how to carry the Ring south. It becomes a museum piece, exhibited beside the shards of Narsil in a display somewhat jokingly entitled "Master Elrond's Wax Museum of Horrors."

I wish that Saruman had never learned to read.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Tulkas would have come and challenged Morgoth to single combat so Fingolfin wouldn't have to die.

Your wish is granted. But Tulkas fought without a sword and was sliced and diced by Morgoth. The Valar were enraged and did the War of Wrath years early. Earendil never became a star and so Galadriel gave Frodo a flashlight which didn't stop Shelob from eating Frodo and Sam. Gollum only had his Precious a few days before a Ringwraith found him.

I wish Gollum had repented and confessed that he was leading the Hobbits into a trap.

Note: Ralph Bakshi is a director of mostly animated films. He made an animated version of Lord of the Rings which was supposed to be in two parts but the second part was never made. link

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish Gollum had repented and confessed that he was leading the Hobbits into a trap.

Granted. However, The Hobbits feel so happy for Gollum that they throw him a party in the middle of Mordor and Sam invites some Orcs that were passing. They are soon captured and thrown in prison with the ring taken off them. Frodo goes mad and kills Sam and Gollum, then himself. Sauron takes over Middle Earth and everyone is enslaved. Even Gandalf, who has his cloak glued to his skin.

I wish that Helm's Deep had not had a hole blown in it.

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish that Helm's Deep had not had a hole blown in it.

Granted!! although what most people are not aware of is that Saruman blew that hole at the request of Gandalf (who had ridden like crazy all night to ask him this) for Helm's Deep had been hermetically closed and it had been slowly filling up with inert gases until the pressure was so high it would have crushed a grown up dwarf. This is why, when the wall was slightly breached (as was the original plan) the escaping gas suddenly ignited and blew half the wall off.

I wish Aragorn had been one of the Istari

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Aragorn had been one of the Istari

Foolish, foolish Farael!

For Aragorn to be an Istari, that means that his REAL father was not Arathorn- but Gandalf! Which explains the closeness of the two, to be sure, but this has drastic consequences, for Aragorn no longer has a claim to any thrones, nor does he have the Sword-that-was-broken, or the "Hands of the King that are the Hands of a Healer".

The story goes as normal, but no King means that Faramir, Eowyn, and Merry die. Gandalf, not Aragorn, looks into the Palantir, and the battle at the Black Gate is a massacre. After the inevitable destruction of the Ring, Gondor is in shambles, its remnants ruled by the House of Dol Amroth. Rohan has lost half it's men, and there is no king to reunite the Realms.

Aragorn, being half-Maia, goes with Arwen to Valinor, and is still there with her today.

I wish that Merry and Pippin were actually one character...