Be careful what you wish for...

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Hobbits were common throughout Middle Earth during the war of the Jewels.

It's a bird ... It's a plane ... NO It's a ------ WISH!!!

Hobbit's are not only common, they are absolutely everywhere! One cannot throw a rock down - well anywhere without hitting a Hobbit. But I digress ... After the many years of captivity in Angband the people of Brethil begin to feel a great weight of turmoil being levied against them. Much to the dismay of Morgoth's followers, no pressure seems too great. Unbeknownst to them, the Hobbits - with their great numbers - are capable of countering any evil placed upon the descendants of Hurin and Morwen. As such Sauron never forges his One-ring and JRRT has nothing to write about. ..sad ...


I wish ... Godzilla was a character in ME

[Farael]

I wish ... Godzilla was a character in ME

*Godzila (the movie) theme song starts playing*
And so it was, that somewhere around the year 1300 (SR) a new creature appeared out of the blue. This creature was to be the first of the youngest children of Eru. Yes you heard me right. First came the elves, with their eternal life and beauty. Then came the men with the gift from Eru. But what very few of us know is that then came Godzila. Yet, just like what happened with Men and Morgoth, Sauron was the first to find these new creatures and quickly realized the were even better than Dragons. He promised them the one thing they didn't have (good looks) and soon, countless armies of Godzileren (plural of Godzila) were sent out to conquer Middle Earth. Surely enough the combined armies of Gondor, Rohan, Lothlorien, Mirkwood and even The Shire (with their batallions of excesively furry hobbits) were defeated and a new blackness covered the world.

I wish.... I wish Frodo had had a cellular phone when he went into Mordor

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Frodo had had a cellular phone when he went into Mordor

Dun-dun-DONE!!!! It is done.
He has a cellular (or mobile) telephone in Mordor. Unfortunately, as the Orcs are searching him in Cirath Ungol, it goes off and they stamp on it. The sparks that fly from it hit a curtain that starts to burn, so the Orcs tear it down to try and put it out. One Orc catches fire and runs screaming out of the tower window and lands on a passing Nazgûl. The Nazgûl then sets on fire and starts screeching which brings all the others to the area. Soon they all catch fire and speed off in random directions. The Witch King falls in Minas Morgul that then burns to the ground damming the water. The water eventually bursts through the ruins of Morgul and floods most of Ithilian. It so happened that the missing Oliphant was swept up and fell in Osgiliath where it went on a rampage and ran to Pelenor fields and then on to Minas Tirith where it broke the walls and ate most of the inhabitants.
While in Minas Tirith, Pippin saw the Oliphant and warned Gandalf who decided to fit rockets to the tower of Ecthelion and when the beast arrived, many were blasted off towards the safety of the Shire. Unfortunately, again, the tower blew up the Shire and everyone in it.
And by the way, Frodo destroyed the ring but found that the rest of Middle Earth was destroyed already...

I wish Bombadill had given all the Hobbits Yellow boots!

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Bombadill had given all the Hobbits Yellow boots!

Your completely fashionable wish has been granted!

Good old Tom gives the four Hobbits their very own yellow boots! What a pity the fashion conscious Eye of Barad-Dur sees all that mismatches. Seeing the yellow boots that clash horribly with Frodo's cloak. So the Nazgul swoop in and flog the offenders and the Ring is taken where it matches perfectly with the Eye's monocle.

I wish Eomer was a famous composer and wrote an Opera entitled "The Thing I Found in my Boot"

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Eomer was a famous composer and wrote an Opera entitled "The Thing I Found in my Boot"

Your Faerie Godmother is very pleased that you helped remind those Kappas of their place... you know... "Sleeping with the fishies" so she has agreed to grant your request.

Eomer becomes a famous composer because of his -spectacular- "The Thing I Found in my Boot". Turns out, funny enough, it was a stick of dynamite which was planted there by a perticularlly cunning orc.

As it is important to give details about said opera, I will not leave you hanging. In all it is a love story between Eomer and Nazzog, a lonely yet lovely orkish wench with nothing but the clothes on her back, her back, her extentive collection of scalps and her broken heart. They meet after a battle on the Westfold and it's love at first battle-cry. Toward the end of the play you learn that her brother, Kurumkush, was responsible for the murder of Eomer's best friend and their beautiful relationship falls to pieces... falls to pieces when one of the Orkish warriors (who Nazzog rejected for Eomer) puts dynamite in Eomer's boot.

Not only does this story bring a tear to the eyes of some wishy-washy goblins; it confuses the heck out of the orcs.. (Orkish women..?) but probably worst of all... it was a real bit of dynamite... and it was live.

I wish that orcs were employed as security guards at "Arda Airlines"

[Farael]

I wish that orcs were employed as security guards at "Arda Airlines"

Be careful with what you say because I saw Melkor around here and.... oh, no... it's too late now!

And so it was that Morgoth had his newest idea. Not only he created airports, but also delayed flights, cheap seats in which you cannot sleep and turbulences. Yet the final touch was still missing. When the free people of the Middle Earth were already getting used to the inconveniences of flight, Morgoth unveiled his latest evil. Orkish security guards! Relentless and naturaly violent, orks were just about the perfect match for the job. They enjoyed displeasing passangers in any way possible, whether that may be checking their bags.... or the dreaded cavity search (and I'm not talking about people's teeth)

I wish Feanor had named Melkor with a more cheerful name... something like "butterfly"

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish Feanor had named Melkor with a more cheerful name... something like "butterfly"

When this wish hits 88 mph, you're going to see some serious ...... woooosh .... GRANTED!


When the first dark lord, Melkor, slew Finwe and took the Silmarils, Feanor petitioned the Valar to make war. The Valar would not allow this and refused to budge from there position. Feanor then "challenged" the Valar to a contest. If he should win, then the Valar would not stop him and his followers in pursuit. If he lost, then it was over. Morgoth - as Feanor now called Melkor - was his blood enemy and he must have his revenge!

The contest was one never heard of before. Feanor would go head - to - head against any one Valar of their choosing, but they must choose before hearing what the contest was. They choose Tulkas. For the contest, the combatants would have to sit across from each other and make no emotional gestures. If you did, you lost. During this time they were allowed to say anything they wanted.

Tulkas was allowed to go first. He questioned Feanor about his family. He asked if his people were so great, then why weren't they able to drive Morgoth back as he did. Feanor was ready to bust inside but remained poised in appearance. He answered that all things happen for some reason.

Now it was Feanor's turn. He first glared intently at Tulkas, and then whispered into his ear.
Do you know what I think of Morgoth? Feanor asked.
No Tulkas replied.
Butterfly!

Tulkas laughed!!!

Feanor won and was allowed to pursue Morgoth.

His little name for Morgoth would always be his and Tulkas' little joke.


I wish that the Entwives would have been at the battle of Isengard.