Be careful what you wish for...

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by Farael

I wish The Ring had actually been a Silmaril

** TADA **

When the One-Ring was "lost" in the river Anduin it called out to the other great jewel which was "lost" in the waters of Middle Earth. Out from the sea and up from the Bay of Belfalas the Silmaril that Maglor cast away made it's way up the river like a salmon (albeit a salmon that takes thousands of years to spawn!). By the time Deagol found it the two had melded into one.

For the next couple hundred of years Earendil is forced to helplessly watch as these "buffoons" (his words not mine) possess the most wonderous of any object. The Silmaril/One-Ring or "Knuckle Duster" as it was known would be in the keep of some most unusual creatures, but Kadie was always her own master.

Most events went to plan until the day she realized that the furballs were going to throw her into the pit of despair. With this she musters all her malice and calls upon the only person capable of saving her. MacGyver shows up at the cracks of doom and uses bubble gum and a paper clip to foil the hairballs plan and claims Kadie as his own!

At this very moment she unleashes her most terrible plan. She warps Mac into a withering old man with her stories of her childhood and how much her gout hurts and why does he wheeze at night when he sleeps and nag nag nag blah blah blah.

To stop the endless blather, Mac does the only thing a reasonable man of his ability would do - he blows up Middle Earth!!

I wish the "heat-mizer" and "cold-mizer" were characters in middle earth