LOTR Survivor - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

**The Saucepan Man** · 09-15-2005, 06:45 AM

Oh, don't be taken in by old lovely dovely book Sam.

Who did Frodo entrust his account of the War of the Ring to? And so who had final editorial control over it? Yes, that's right. Sam and his family. So it's hardly likely to be an unbiased portrayal of him, is it? No doubt he heavily edited it to make himself look all humble and loyal and heroic.

The guy's a fake. Get rid of him now!

Anguirel · 09-15-2005, 06:50 AM

Saucepan Man, could you do me a great favour and post a link to your tremendous Lament for Celeborn here?

If you do I'll vote for the irritating Sam...always thought he was a bit of a parvenu.

mormegil · 09-15-2005, 07:13 AM

Without Sam there would be no Frodo or for that matter no Middle-earth

. I voted Celeborn to hopefully save Sam but I really want to get rid of Frodo. Take about a waste of space. Most hobbits are gainfully employed. What does Frodo do? Moves in with his senile relation Bilbo and leeches all his money from him. He's given a simple task (taking the ring to a nearby mountain) and he can't even succeed at that. It isn't any wonder that he's failing at all of the challenges. I say today that Celeborn who isn't content with anything

Quote:

He's married to Galadriel but still isn't entirely happy.

Come on, where's his sense of family and loyalty? What, one of the greatest women of Middle-earth isn't good enough for this snivelling little prat? I say out of this camp and make Frodo and him go find a job. I hear the Gap of Rohan is currently hiring.

**The Saucepan Man** · 09-15-2005, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anguirel

Saucepan Man, could you do me a great favour and post a link to your tremendous Lament for Celeborn here?

You mean this one?

All the image links had broken again, so I had to mend them.

Anguirel · 09-15-2005, 09:47 AM

Excellent!

++SAMWISE GAMGEE, corrupt Mayor of the Shire and Mallorn embezzler

arcticstorm · 09-15-2005, 11:19 AM

++samwise

Folwren · 09-15-2005, 11:26 AM

*jumps around, pulling hair out*

No, no, NO! You fools! The island will go to wreck and ruin if Sam is gotten rid of! Who'll do your cooking for everyone? Who'll keep things nice and tidy, and make sure no one forgets the important stuff on the hikes? The chap who really needs to go is not Sam, nor Frodo, nor Aragorn, but Bilbo Baggins! That flippant liar who'll do anything to keep what's not rightfully his. You think Sam was so awful in picking some little petty fights with Gollum, consider what Bilbo did to him!!

Wayne, thank goodness you're with Morm and I. If Samwise is kicked off this island, I think we should lead a rampage to get Bilbo out of here.

My vote....

++Celeborn

Merely because he's the person with the next many votes to Sam. Sorry, those who like him. I have no particular dislike.

- Folwren

Celuien · 09-15-2005, 12:00 PM

++Samwise

A stack of documents from Sam's mayoral years was recently uncovered, which irrefutably prove Anguirel's shocking allegations. It seems that Sam used his position as Mayor to keep all pipeweed, fish and chips, chocolate cupcakes, and other tasty delights for himself and his large family.

Furthermore, Sam admitted in his diary that he plotted to seize the throne of Gondor for himself. Why else would he send Elanor out as a maid for Arwen? She was a spy sent to gather information and foment rebellion against the King while increasing the visibility of the Gamgee family for the Gondorian public.

Finally, the whole business of Sam's changing his family name to Gardner is suspicious. What was the need for an alias other than an attempt to hide his past? Additional investigations reveal that Sam used many other names, including "Sam the Snake" and "Sticky Fingers Samwise" during his years in the Shire's criminal underworld. There's no need for such an unsavory character here. It's time for Sam to go home.

09-15-2005, 06:45 AM	#1
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Oh, don't be taken in by old lovely dovely book Sam. Who did Frodo entrust his account of the War of the Ring to? And so who had final editorial control over it? Yes, that's right. Sam and his family. So it's hardly likely to be an unbiased portrayal of him, is it? No doubt he heavily edited it to make himself look all humble and loyal and heroic. The guy's a fake. Get rid of him now! __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

09-15-2005, 06:50 AM	#2
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Lament for Celeborn Saucepan Man, could you do me a great favour and post a link to your tremendous Lament for Celeborn here? If you do I'll vote for the irritating Sam...always thought he was a bit of a parvenu. __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

09-15-2005, 09:47 AM	#5
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Excellent! ++SAMWISE GAMGEE, corrupt Mayor of the Shire and Mallorn embezzler __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

09-15-2005, 11:26 AM	#7
Folwren Messenger of Hope Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a tiny, insignificant little town in one of the many States. Posts: 5,076	jumps around, pulling hair out No, no, NO! You fools! The island will go to wreck and ruin if Sam is gotten rid of! Who'll do your cooking for everyone? Who'll keep things nice and tidy, and make sure no one forgets the important stuff on the hikes? The chap who really needs to go is not Sam, nor Frodo, nor Aragorn, but Bilbo Baggins! That flippant liar who'll do anything to keep what's not rightfully his. You think Sam was so awful in picking some little petty fights with Gollum, consider what Bilbo did to him!! Wayne, thank goodness you're with Morm and I. If Samwise is kicked off this island, I think we should lead a rampage to get Bilbo out of here. My vote.... ++Celeborn Merely because he's the person with the next many votes to Sam. Sorry, those who like him. I have no particular dislike. - Folwren __________________ A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. - C.S. Lewis

09-15-2005, 12:00 PM	#8
Celuien Riveting Ribbiter Join Date: May 2005 Location: Assigned to Mordor Posts: 1,767	++Samwise A stack of documents from Sam's mayoral years was recently uncovered, which irrefutably prove Anguirel's shocking allegations. It seems that Sam used his position as Mayor to keep all pipeweed, fish and chips, chocolate cupcakes, and other tasty delights for himself and his large family. Furthermore, Sam admitted in his diary that he plotted to seize the throne of Gondor for himself. Why else would he send Elanor out as a maid for Arwen? She was a spy sent to gather information and foment rebellion against the King while increasing the visibility of the Gamgee family for the Gondorian public. Finally, the whole business of Sam's changing his family name to Gardner is suspicious. What was the need for an alias other than an attempt to hide his past? Additional investigations reveal that Sam used many other names, including "Sam the Snake" and "Sticky Fingers Samwise" during his years in the Shire's criminal underworld. There's no need for such an unsavory character here. It's time for Sam to go home. __________________ People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.

09-15-2005, 11:19 AM	#6
arcticstorm Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Johnson Bible College: Knoxville, TN Posts: 464	++samwise