Parents know best. - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Boromir88 · 05-09-2005, 07:49 PM

I found this funny article yesterday for Mother's day, just imagining what different people's mothers would say. For instance: Susan B. Anthony's mom might have said at some point, "Come on Suzy? Women's suffrage? Stop thinking about these silly ideas that won't happen." Or Alexander the Great's mom might have said..."Alex, you can't rule the world." So, let's just imagine what some of the parents from Tolkien's works would have scolded/told their children...

Ecthelion: Denethor! How, many times have I told you not to play with fire!

Saruman's Mom (if he had one): You know what Saruman, you need to get outside more, socialize. Stop locking yourself up trying to find out if you can walk on top of custard. (I'll never forget that Lal).

Tom Bombadil: I feel a song coming on...
Tom Bombadil's dad: Stop that! Stop that! No more singing.

So....have at it...(I guess).

Encaitare · 05-09-2005, 08:32 PM

Drogo Baggins: Frodo, put that knife down! You'll slice your finger off!

Sauron's mom: Where have my rings gone? You haven't taken them again, have you?

Gollum's mom: Here's a birthday present. Guard it with your life, and if anyone tries to take it from you, kill him.

Lalwendë · 05-10-2005, 06:39 AM

Aragorn's mother: Son, the very idea of reuniting the kingdoms is a pipe dream. Have you thought about a career in accountancy?

Mithalwen · 05-10-2005, 06:46 AM

Celebrian : To Arwen ."Some day, you will meet a nice elf boy..."
To Elladan and Elrohir "I think you should dress differently and cultivate separate friendships.....

Eomund : "For goodness sake Eowyn, leave your brother's stuff alone and play with dolls like a normal girl. A woman would never be anything other than a liability on the battlefield.....

Mrs Wormtongue: "Get your hairwashed and stop lurking in corners Grima... you won't make any friends like that"

Anguirel · 05-10-2005, 07:03 AM

THRAIN: For generations our kings have been killed while in exile. But now you're here, Thorin my son, things are going to change!

ARADOR: For generations our kings have been killed while in exile. But now you're here, Arathorn my son, things are going to change!

mormegil · 05-10-2005, 11:59 AM

Morwen: Turin this somber attitude of yours has got to go. You've got so much to live for.

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-10-2005, 01:03 PM

Saruman's Mother: How many times have I told you? If you put the colours in with the whites, it’s going to run!

Ainaserkewen · 05-10-2005, 04:35 PM

Eomund: Oh Eomer! Where did you get those bruises? From Eowen? Again? Don't worry son, you will grown to match her someday.

Nimrodel_9 · 05-10-2005, 04:47 PM

Gaffer Gamgee to Sam: You'll never do more than dig potatoes.

Paladin to Pippin: Put that stick down! You'll never be a soldier!

Oddwen · 05-10-2005, 06:26 PM

Gaffer to Sam: "Elves and Dragons? Cabbages and potatoes are better for you, lad!"

Hee hee hee...wait.

Ivorwen: No, Gilraen, you may absolutely not marry Arathorn, you are too young. No buts now, miss!

Bungo Baggins: There has always been a Baggins in Bag-End, young Bilbo, and there always will be.

THE Ka · 05-10-2005, 07:13 PM

Gandalf's (imaginative of course) mother: Listening in on my and others chit-chat isn't going to get you anywhere in the world! Why don't you try and go play with that Radagast boy, he's always keeping to himself and those birds.

That's all I can think of for now...

~ Imagination Ka

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-11-2005, 12:07 AM

Theoden to Theodred: One day, lad, all this will be yours!

Theodred: What, the curtains?

Formendacil · 05-11-2005, 12:04 PM

Quickbeam's Mother: Slow down! You'll hurt yourself.

Any Ent's Parents: "Eat your vegetables, boy!"

bilbo_baggins · 05-11-2005, 12:37 PM

The mother of the Eagles: "Why do grow so large? Are you going to be hauling human's around some day?"

Nice thread.

Mithalwen · 05-11-2005, 01:29 PM

Elwing "Mummy will be back soon..."

Feanor "Don't listen to me... what do I know"

BTW Does any other country celebrate Mothers day at the same time as us Brits? I.E. on Mothering Sunday (Refreshment Sunday/4th Sunday in Lent). It is a very old tradition - so I am surprised it didn't spread with our emigrants...

Boromir88 · 05-13-2005, 11:07 AM

Mrs. Witch-King: Oh don't you screech back to me young man. It may send your Daddy fleeing but it won't work on me.

Quote:

BTW Does any other country celebrate Mothers day at the same time as us Brits? I.E. on Mothering Sunday (Refreshment Sunday/4th Sunday in Lent). It is a very old tradition - so I am surprised it didn't spread with our emigrants...

From your description I'm pretty sure the U.S. does, but not quite....

I wouldn't be surprised if Canada or Australia do, considering they were once settlements of the Brits.

**The Saucepan Man** · 05-13-2005, 11:18 AM

Mrs Ugluk: Do as you're told, my lad. I am your mother! I command!

Mithalwen · 05-13-2005, 11:19 AM

I think the Aussies go for May as well since I think it coincided with my departure...

The only explanation I have is that it is a tradition in part linked to the custom of going to the Cathedral (the mother church of the diocese) that Sunday. And since many people emigrated in part to get away from the established anglican (epsicopalian) church - that might be the reason for not keeping up the tradition..

mormegil · 05-13-2005, 11:35 PM

Smeagol's mother (or grandmother): Now you play nice today with Deagol and don't get into any trouble.

Beanamir of Gondor · 05-25-2005, 01:43 PM

Adrahil: Denethor, you've got to stop your son from stealing my jewelry.
Denethor: Boromir, there's more to life than power... I mean jewelry.

Thranduil: Legolas, how many times have I told you-- if you surf down the bannister, you'll end up breaking your kneecaps! And stop playing archery indoors!

Arathorn: Son, would you clean yourself for once?

Anguirel · 05-25-2005, 02:15 PM

Strictly speaking, of course, Arathorn would have had to have told Aragorn that as a two year old...ah, the pedant in me is winning...

CURUFIN: Celebrimbor my son, never craft anything. Skill at making things has brought our family nothing but trouble...

yavanna II · 06-06-2005, 04:10 AM

Smeagol's mom: Son, stop eating raw fish! You'll get salmonella!
Gollum: Mom, geroff, gollum, gollum! I like sweet fish...
Smeagol's mom: At least get that fish dressed like a sashimi, son, you're disgusting!

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-06-2005, 04:13 AM

Sauron's mum: Look, if I catch you taking my jewellery again, I’ll show you who the DARK LORD IS!!

Sauron: eeep!

Lhunardawen · 06-06-2005, 05:12 AM

Elrond: Arwen, do not presume you know more than Glorfindel does, okay? And stop stealing Asfaloth.

Gandalf's mum: Stop breakdancing with that kid Bill, son. He will be the death of you yet.
Bill the Balrog's mum...wait.

Boromir88 · 06-06-2005, 08:01 AM

Celebrian (to Elladan and Elrohir): I don't want you two disappearing for weeks again. Be home by supper.

The Only Real Estel · 06-14-2005, 09:58 AM

Mothers of the Eagles:
"Never carry a ring or a person with a ring any amount of distance, children."

Morsul the Dark · 06-14-2005, 11:49 AM

Gandalf's mom to Saruman's mom:Listen you Saruman may keep his cloak nixce and clean while my gandy's is messy and grey but at least he makes friend's I bet you when they grow up and Gandy cleans his cloak it'll be twice as white as Saruman's!

Lhunardawen · 06-18-2005, 05:16 AM

Ringwraiths' mum/s: Do not touch the water!

Esgallhugwen · 06-18-2005, 11:25 AM

Canada, Australia, NZ, and U.S all celebrate Mother's Day on the same day.

Denethor to Faramir: Don't bother with all those flu shots my boy, you won't need anything like that to help you when your older, seeing as your nose is always in a book.

Gandalf's mom: Stop making those long winded comments and talking in riddles, who do you think you are, a wizard?

Bergil · 08-27-2005, 04:44 PM

Thengel: "Stop imagening things, your horse is not out to get you!"

Denethor to Boromir: "Rock'n'roll will never last, stop going to these...dis-co-the-kwees or whatever they're called."

to Faramir: "one day you're going to meet a nice girl..."

and last but not least, Tolkien's mom: "You're too old for elves, you'll never make any money dreaming"

Glirdan · 08-27-2005, 04:56 PM

Gandalf's mom: For the Valar's sake Gandy, stop uncloaking yourself!!!!! (

)

05-09-2005, 07:49 PM	#1
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,507	Parents know best. I found this funny article yesterday for Mother's day, just imagining what different people's mothers would say. For instance: Susan B. Anthony's mom might have said at some point, "Come on Suzy? Women's suffrage? Stop thinking about these silly ideas that won't happen." Or Alexander the Great's mom might have said..."Alex, you can't rule the world." So, let's just imagine what some of the parents from Tolkien's works would have scolded/told their children... Ecthelion: Denethor! How, many times have I told you not to play with fire! Saruman's Mom (if he had one): You know what Saruman, you need to get outside more, socialize. Stop locking yourself up trying to find out if you can walk on top of custard. (I'll never forget that Lal). Tom Bombadil: I feel a song coming on... Tom Bombadil's dad: Stop that! Stop that! No more singing. So....have at it...(I guess). __________________ Fenris Penguin

05-10-2005, 06:39 AM	#3
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Aragorn's mother: Son, the very idea of reuniting the kingdoms is a pipe dream. Have you thought about a career in accountancy? __________________ Gordon's alive!

05-10-2005, 06:46 AM	#4
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,449	Celebrian : To Arwen ."Some day, you will meet a nice elf boy..." To Elladan and Elrohir "I think you should dress differently and cultivate separate friendships..... Eomund : "For goodness sake Eowyn, leave your brother's stuff alone and play with dolls like a normal girl. A woman would never be anything other than a liability on the battlefield..... Mrs Wormtongue: "Get your hairwashed and stop lurking in corners Grima... you won't make any friends like that" __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

05-10-2005, 07:03 AM	#5
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Untimely ripp'd THRAIN: For generations our kings have been killed while in exile. But now you're here, Thorin my son, things are going to change! ARADOR: For generations our kings have been killed while in exile. But now you're here, Arathorn my son, things are going to change! __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

05-10-2005, 11:59 AM	#6
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	Morwen: Turin this somber attitude of yours has got to go. You've got so much to live for. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

05-09-2005, 08:32 PM	#2
Encaitare Bittersweet Symphony Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: On the jolly starship Enterprise Posts: 1,814	Drogo Baggins: Frodo, put that knife down! You'll slice your finger off! Sauron's mom: Where have my rings gone? You haven't taken them again, have you? Gollum's mom: Here's a birthday present. Guard it with your life, and if anyone tries to take it from you, kill him.

05-10-2005, 01:03 PM	#7
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman's Mother: How many times have I told you? If you put the colours in with the whites, it’s going to run! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 05-11-2005 at 12:06 AM.

05-10-2005, 04:35 PM	#8
Ainaserkewen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A cosmic waiting room Posts: 651	Eomund: Oh Eomer! Where did you get those bruises? From Eowen? Again? Don't worry son, you will grown to match her someday. __________________ Solus... I'm eating chicken again. I ate chicken yesterday and the day before... will I be eating chicken again tomorrow? Why am I always eating chicken?

05-10-2005, 04:47 PM	#9
Nimrodel_9 Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Utah Posts: 734	Gaffer Gamgee to Sam: You'll never do more than dig potatoes. Paladin to Pippin: Put that stick down! You'll never be a soldier! __________________ .:A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart:.

05-10-2005, 06:26 PM	#10
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,126	To paraphrase Nimmy... Gaffer to Sam: "Elves and Dragons? Cabbages and potatoes are better for you, lad!" Hee hee hee...wait. Ivorwen: No, Gilraen, you may absolutely not marry Arathorn, you are too young. No buts now, miss! Bungo Baggins: There has always been a Baggins in Bag-End, young Bilbo, and there always will be. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

05-10-2005, 07:13 PM	#11
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	Gandalf's (imaginative of course) mother: Listening in on my and others chit-chat isn't going to get you anywhere in the world! Why don't you try and go play with that Radagast boy, he's always keeping to himself and those birds. That's all I can think of for now... ~ Imagination Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

05-11-2005, 12:07 AM	#12
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Theoden to Theodred: One day, lad, all this will be yours! Theodred: What, the curtains? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-11-2005, 12:04 PM	#13
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,311	Quickbeam's Mother: Slow down! You'll hurt yourself. Any Ent's Parents: "Eat your vegetables, boy!" __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

05-11-2005, 12:37 PM	#14
bilbo_baggins Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: May 2003 Location: In my front hallway, grabbing my staff, about to head out my door Posts: 275	The mother of the Eagles: "Why do grow so large? Are you going to be hauling human's around some day?" Nice thread. __________________ "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow, and with more knowledge comes more grief."

05-11-2005, 01:29 PM	#15
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,449	Elwing "Mummy will be back soon..." Feanor "Don't listen to me... what do I know" BTW Does any other country celebrate Mothers day at the same time as us Brits? I.E. on Mothering Sunday (Refreshment Sunday/4th Sunday in Lent). It is a very old tradition - so I am surprised it didn't spread with our emigrants... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

05-13-2005, 11:18 AM	#17
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Mrs Ugluk: Do as you're told, my lad. I am your mother! I command! __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

05-13-2005, 11:19 AM	#18
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,449	I think the Aussies go for May as well since I think it coincided with my departure... The only explanation I have is that it is a tradition in part linked to the custom of going to the Cathedral (the mother church of the diocese) that Sunday. And since many people emigrated in part to get away from the established anglican (epsicopalian) church - that might be the reason for not keeping up the tradition.. __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

05-13-2005, 11:35 PM	#19
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	Smeagol's mother (or grandmother): Now you play nice today with Deagol and don't get into any trouble. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

05-25-2005, 01:43 PM	#20
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	Adrahil: Denethor, you've got to stop your son from stealing my jewelry. Denethor: Boromir, there's more to life than power... I mean jewelry. Thranduil: Legolas, how many times have I told you-- if you surf down the bannister, you'll end up breaking your kneecaps! And stop playing archery indoors! Arathorn: Son, would you clean yourself for once? __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

05-25-2005, 02:15 PM	#21
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Strictly speaking, of course, Arathorn would have had to have told Aragorn that as a two year old...ah, the pedant in me is winning... CURUFIN: Celebrimbor my son, never craft anything. Skill at making things has brought our family nothing but trouble... __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

06-06-2005, 04:10 AM	#22
yavanna II Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in my own little world Posts: 142	Smeagol's mom: Son, stop eating raw fish! You'll get salmonella! Gollum: Mom, geroff, gollum, gollum! I like sweet fish... Smeagol's mom: At least get that fish dressed like a sashimi, son, you're disgusting!

06-06-2005, 04:13 AM	#23
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Sauron's mum: Look, if I catch you taking my jewellery again, I’ll show you who the DARK LORD IS!! Sauron: eeep! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-06-2005, 05:12 AM	#24
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Elrond: Arwen, do not presume you know more than Glorfindel does, okay? And stop stealing Asfaloth. Gandalf's mum: Stop breakdancing with that kid Bill, son. He will be the death of you yet. Bill the Balrog's mum...wait. Last edited by Lhunardawen; 06-07-2005 at 10:43 PM.

06-06-2005, 08:01 AM	#25
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,507	Celebrian (to Elladan and Elrohir): I don't want you two disappearing for weeks again. Be home by supper. __________________ Fenris Penguin

06-14-2005, 09:58 AM	#26
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Mothers of the Eagles: "Never carry a ring or a person with a ring any amount of distance, children."

06-14-2005, 11:49 AM	#27
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	Gandalf's mom to Saruman's mom:Listen you Saruman may keep his cloak nixce and clean while my gandy's is messy and grey but at least he makes friend's I bet you when they grow up and Gandy cleans his cloak it'll be twice as white as Saruman's! __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

06-18-2005, 05:16 AM	#28
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	Ringwraiths, sons of Galadriel??? Ringwraiths' mum/s: Do not touch the water!

06-18-2005, 11:25 AM	#29
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	Canada, Australia, NZ, and U.S all celebrate Mother's Day on the same day. Denethor to Faramir: Don't bother with all those flu shots my boy, you won't need anything like that to help you when your older, seeing as your nose is always in a book. Gandalf's mom: Stop making those long winded comments and talking in riddles, who do you think you are, a wizard? __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

08-27-2005, 04:44 PM	#30
Bergil Wight Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: the Lepetomaine Gambling Casino For The Insane Posts: 157	Thengel: "Stop imagening things, your horse is not out to get you!" Denethor to Boromir: "Rock'n'roll will never last, stop going to these...dis-co-the-kwees or whatever they're called." to Faramir: "one day you're going to meet a nice girl..." and last but not least, Tolkien's mom: "You're too old for elves, you'll never make any money *dreaming*" __________________ I support...something.

08-27-2005, 04:56 PM	#31
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	Gandalf's mom: For the Valar's sake Gandy, stop uncloaking yourself!!!!! ( ) __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf