Who's your favourite hobbit...

[the guy who be short]

It appears there is much resentment at the truth about Samwise emerging, but I'm afraid that, as long as it is possible to do so, it is my duty to enlighten you misguided followers of the "nasssty hobbit," as one famous opponent once called him.

Now, almost everything Sam did after his return to the Shire was to score political points.

And as for having thirteen children...that was just as much Rosie's choice as Sam's. A woman doesn't go off and have more than a dozen kids just so that her husband can be in the spotlight.

It is a well known fact that, if a man (or hobbit) has children, they are seen as approachable and more likely to be voted for. Now, here's the shocker - Sam planned his children around the political calender to make people more likely to vote for him!

Ludricous? Let us consider the timeline and Master Gamgee's family tree.

1427 - Merry, Sam's son, is born. Conveniently, Sam is elected for the first time soon after on the same year.

1433 - Sam's daughter Primrose born late in the year. Sam re-elected early 1434.

1440 - Sam's daughter Robin born in the ending months. Sam re-elected in the following months next year.

1448 - It is not known, but highly suspected amongst scholars, that Sam forced his daughter Elanor to have a baby in this year, giving him the status of Grandfather. He is re-elected.

1454 - Elanor again forced to have a child, Elfstan. Sam elected following year.

1462 - Sam's son, Frodo, forced to have a child (Holfast) this year. Sam re-elected same year.

1469 - Some other child of Sam's is presumably forced to reproduce this year, resulting in his re-election.


As you can see, each election campaign conveniently had some spawn of Sam's for him to fawn over in front of crowds, pulling in the voters. Carefully choreographed, we can only assume that his offspring rebelled against him during his later years, forcing him across the Sea.

Now, it is late, and further attacks on Mister Samwise and defences of Saint Bilbo can wait for the morrow.