Fall of the North RPG

[Mithalwen]

Erenor let Angore finish speaking, forcing herself to use the skills long learnt in council to remember points raised in order to deal with as the moment came. And with one set of emotions repressed others required an outlet. Her voice became as cold and contained as his.

" I think Bethiril is gone, Angore - why else would she give me the ring?" . Erenor knew not whether to hope she was right or wrong. It had been the thought of Bethiril alone in the snow that had stopped her from ... well as things were turning out stopped her from offering herself up to rejection and humiliation. She winced inwardly. "There is no need to congratulate me - I will return the ring to Lord Elrond if I survive - and that is not something I can assume. That is not a judgement on your capabilities rather on the dire situation the Dunedain have forced us into. However, I would not replace Bethiril even if there were longer a need for such a role. I am neither wise nor strong and if my counsel was held in any esteem we would have been safe in the havens long ago, and many lives would have been spared.

I am tired of death, Angore: the needless carnage at Fornost, the deaths of Gaeredhel and Rosgollo saving myself and the other hostages, the death of innocents and the valiant naugrim in the tunnels - and now ice and starvation meet us all. All are the consequence, direct and indirect of misjudgement. This is no place for me. It has all been a lie. I cared nothing for the edain until I saw their courage in risking their lives to save mine. I am not worthy of them. I sought high office to gain renown and honour the memory of my father, I sought battle to avenge his death. But no matter how many orcs, or spiders, or even trolls I slay, it will not release him from Mandos sooner. In seeking glory for myself I have endangered others maybe..." she wondered how her dispute with Angore might have affected the course of events in the tunnels, where the separation of the parties had proved near disastrous for all and fatal for some. She choked slightly.." I cannot bring them back to life, but if my fate is to return to Imladris, I will return this ring and beg work in the gardens or with the healers and try to redress the balance in favour of life.....

As for the wound I have opened - well I regret I did so but I have no recollection of my words in the tunnel from when I ran to aid Belegorn until I awoke in his arms ......." she cast back further in her memory .... " the person you were? Ah, I called you Maltore then? Well I shall not use it again....but I dwellt at Imladris long and I did know that was your name ... there was no malice in it. A name is just a name - it may reflect the self but it cannot change it. But since you give it such importance, I would ask you to cease this milady-ing. I recall that you too are of a noble line and my title a reflection of the role I no longer hold. If you would do me courtesy you would look me in the eye" .

He did so and for that time the eyes that had shown such anguish in the twain now reflected an equal fire of spirit. Erenor realised moments too late that this was the point she should have stopped, but one point remained to be answered.

" You asked if that was all that bothered me; well you must know the answer to that in your heart - whether it be of gold or steel - but clearly there is no point in speaking of it!". The fire went out of her grey eyes and they suddenly became too bright as she realised she had voiced that thought. She gave a low cry of anguish realising that Angore was between her and the tent flap and she had no where to flee. She could bear his gaze no longer and turned away curling up in her close wrapped cloak, and grateful that her long dark hair had come loose from its braid, to curtain her from Angore's gaze as the tears traced silently down her face.