What do you assign to Mordor?

[the guy who be short]

Perhaps to offend everybody equally, we should send the entire concept of language to Mordor?
No, I'd rather not...

I think food poisoning should go to Mordor (influenced by current events in my life ) as should prolonged conjunctivitis. Less specifically, all illnesses should go there.

Also, birds singing at obscene hours in the morning. This may seem a little harsh, but why birds feel compelled to chirp outside my window at 4:00am is beyond me; the only explanation I can salvage is that they are servants of Mordor.