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Old 03-09-2005, 08:41 PM   #1
Encaitare
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Quote:
4. and finally i would get them to pose as gnomes so i dont get damned Jehovas Witnessess coming to the door
Call the Jehovah's Witnesses Hotline and get them all to come to my house so they can distract the orcs and try to convert them, while I slip quietly away through the back door.
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Old 03-09-2005, 09:41 PM   #2
The Only Real Estel
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If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....
Um...lock the door and scream like a little girl!?

Last edited by The Only Real Estel; 03-09-2005 at 09:52 PM.
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Old 03-09-2005, 10:44 PM   #3
Oddwen
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If I found...

1) Well, first I'd hop quickly to the BarrowDowns to see what advice I could get in two-point-five seconds, and then I'd turn on my iTunes visual effects to hypnotize them, and while that was happening I'd sneak out the back door.

2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly.

3) Wake up.

4) Grab my BB gun and...fire off two shots before I die.

5) Get them involved in the Balrog Wing debate. After all, wouldn't some of them have seen/not seen wings?

6) Blast some Korn or Disturbed at them...woo, look at 'em run!

7) Start some "drums in the deep" of my own.

8) Tell them the Barrow-Wight thinks that they're off topic. ( )

9) Tell them that the general concensus is that them being on MY doorstep is non-canonical.

10) Wonder if this will interfere with my visits to the BD's...
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Last edited by Oddwen; 03-09-2005 at 10:49 PM. Reason: IMG tags...GOOD.
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Old 03-09-2005, 10:48 PM   #4
Neurion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddwen
2) I would bribe them with raw cookie dough. Then hope they get salmonella really quickly.
Doubt it. I've been eating it my entire life.

Great thoughts everyone. Keep it up!
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Old 03-10-2005, 01:05 AM   #5
Annalaliath
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mmm
attack them with my frying pan.. it would crush a few skulls.
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Old 03-10-2005, 01:54 AM   #6
Nilpaurion Felagund
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Sting Orcs.

Ask them whether they are corrupted beasts, corrupted Elves, corrupted Men, Úmaiar, or any combinations thereof.

While they wonder, I get as far away as I can.

Who am I kidding? Eönwë trained me in the art of sword-fighting. I'll show them why somehow they haven't won a decent war since the First Age.
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Old 03-10-2005, 12:55 PM   #7
alatar
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alatar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.alatar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Here's a plan:

1. Shut the door. That should slow them down a bit.

2. Use my keyfob to set off my car alarm. Not only would it cause a little wonder in the orcs, it would torque off my neighbors who, armed to the teeth (this is 'Merica!), would start shooting just to get the noise to stop.

3. Call the police. Most local police carry enough firepower to handle a few thousand or so orcs, but what would really get them going would be me telling them that the orcs were having some kind of religious rally without a permit. The ACLU lawyers sniffing the line would beat the cops to the scene, and, by all accounts, those lawyers can be pretty tough.

4. Call the local Teamsters. "Hey, I gotta some guys here who are working below union scale." One might pity the orcs.

5. The next calls would be to cable TV and satellite dish companies who, so hot on signing up a new customer, would be there in minutes. Some of the orcs would be caught in the ensuing crossfire.

6. Call a timeshare company and tell them that there are ~200,000 potential clients at my door if they would be so interested to stop by. Need I say more?

7. Use my video camera to capture the fun for sale later to the local news. Hey, what's wrong with turning a buck on the whole deal?

After that, I'd sit back and load up ROTK EE on the DVD player to find the next thing to nitpick about in the movies forum ("...just why doesn't Merry's cape make him invisible on the Pelennor Fields?"
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