Ruin of Doriath - Attack on Menegroth

[Aiwendil]

RD-EX-51

Findegil wrote:

But the awkwardness of the sentence was, in my view at least, brought about by our deletions. Wouldn't it be possible to change the word order: "Now one there was, Fangluin the aged, and he did{ he} jeer at them mightily on their return, ..."
For me that sounds much more natural.

Are you sure that the awkwardness was introduced by our change? I don't see how "and did he jeer at them mightily on their return" is more awkward than "and did Fangluin jeer at them mightily on their return". But it's a minor point, and I'm certainly willing to go with your suggestion if you are adamant.

RD-SL-20

We ought to try to be clear about this. Why did we delete the element of the treachery? I can think of two possible reasons:

1. In the later legendarium, Elvish treachery would not be sufficient to bypass the Girdle.

2. In the later legendarium, Elvish treachery is impossibly unlikely.

I had thought that our justification for the change was 2. If this is the case, then nothing has altered the fact that Elvish treachery would overcome the Girdle, and so the hypothetical statement would be fine.

But perhaps it is not so clear that reason 2 was our justification. If 1 is also a concern, then I agree that the line should be dropped.

§37a

I must say again that I don't see the "somehow" as doing any good for us. Your expanded proposal ("No tale tells . . .") is better in that regard. But I wonder whether it's going too far - besides the fact that it alters the text, it invents the fact that no tale tells more of the luring of Thingol outside the Girdle. But surely the full tale of the Necklace of the Woe of Thingol does give a full account.

Okay, so we all agree that she must leave before the dwarves attack. It would be nice to hear if you both do agree with my second version of that story given in post #11 at the end.

I don't see a real problem between §37b and §38, but your proposed changes bring in more detail from TN and thus are good, I think. But there is a grammatical problem with:

<HoME11; The Tale of The Years{Then} When Melian {departs} departed, and the girdle being removed Doriath {is}was ravaged by the Dwarves.>

We could perhaps make it:

<HoME11; The Tale of The Years{Then} Thus Melian {departs} departed, and the girdle being removed Doriath {is}was ravaged by the Dwarves.>

RD-EX-63

If I understand what you intend, would perhaps this work:

RD-EX-63 <TN there was a cry about the doors <editorial addition of the Thousand Caves>, and suddenly it grew to a fierce noise[,] {...} strengthened by the clash of steel.

I think that "enforced" is not the right word, but I think this may be what you had in mind.