The Green Dragon Inn #11 - The Last Chapter

[Envinyatar]

Derufin spread out his hands, palms up, and shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ve no idea what he meant to say,’ he said, looking expectantly at the two Hobbits. ‘And as for any “planning”, I am more in the dark about what that refers to, than I was before.’ Motioning for one of the servers to come near, he had two new half-pint mugs brought (he was being careful this time . . .), and a fresh pitcher of ale. ‘Now, lads,’ he began, smiling warmly at them as he poured the ale in a long amber stream into their mugs, the foam of it winking invitingly in the light at the two. ‘What is this “custom” I have to look forward to?’ Eager hands reached out for the mugs, but they were denied any access until Ferrin, at last, began to speak.

‘Well, sir, Master Derufin,’ Ferrin began after a hastily whispered conference with his companion, ‘it’s more or less like this . . .’

The two Hobbits played tag team in telling him about the shivaree. An old custom, apparently, they said. And one most likely born out of the Hobbits’ love for parties, good food, and drink. Or so one of their great granda’s had told them once when he was well into his cups and bent on giving a lesson about the importance of tradition.

‘We like the party to go on and on, you see,’ said Fallon, wiping the foam from his lips and leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eye. ‘And the one after the handfasting is always too short by Shire standards. What with the couple wanting to get away and all . . .’ He grinned up at Derufin, and gave him a wink.

‘So we figured a way to continue the fun,’ chimed in Ferrin, motioning for Derufin to fill his mug. He took a long pull at it before speaking again. ‘Now customs differ depending on the families being joined. The rowdies from Girdley Island kidnap the man just before he and his missus reach their house, get him quite sauced, then leave him across the river to make his way back to his missus in the dead of night. While those from Pincup make off with the missus herself, and the man must find her . . .’

Derufin’s brows had risen nearly to his hairline at this report. He filled his own mug, shaking his head and wondering how he was to tell Zimzi of this local tradition.

Ferrin and Fallon grinned at his discomfiture. ‘Now don’t think we didn’t consider one or t’other of these approaches,’ Ferrin continued. ‘But honestly,’ Fallon went on, ‘you’re a might too big for us to handle.’ Derufin breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Oh, now don’t think we’re giving up on it altogether,’ Ferrin put in. ‘Shall we tell him, Fallon?’ ‘Might as well,’ the other Hobbit agreed.

‘Once you and the missus have come back to the cottage, your friends from the party will find their way there,’ Fallon continued. ‘No rest for the happy couple, I’m afraid, til the wee hours of the morning! There’ll be a gathering in your from yard, a very loud gathering. Pots and pans will be beat on with stirring spoons and the like. The men and lads will vie for who can sing you the bawdiest of songs . . .’ Ferrin nudged him, ‘Oh, and aye, even the sweet-faced old gammers will have some songs and taunts to throw your way . . .’

‘It’s a loud and horrible din we’ll make,’ chuckled Ferrin. ‘And there’ll be no stopping of it . . . until, of course, you throw your robes over your night clothes and come out to join us.’ Fallon nodded, his eyes glinting impishly. ‘And of course you’ll want to be offering these fine singers and reciters of choice verse a little something to drink and eat.’

‘Don’t forget to tell him about the blanket toss . . .’ slurred Ferrin, who had helped himself once again to the pitcher.

‘The blanket toss?’ wheezed Derufin, his last swallow of ale gone down wrong. His face had gone pale, but not from the coughing. In truth, his head was spinning as he tried to take in the details of this Shire custom. Fallon clapped him hard on the back to relieve the breathless cough.

Ferrin, seeing the last of the ale had gone from the pitcher, now waved it in the air, calling for more. Derufin had just caught his breath and Fallon begun again the further details of the shivaree when Cook’s voice broke in on the trio.