Who Would Win?

[Beanamir of Gondor]

In yet another Eating contest, this one between Merry and Pippin, both would eat themselves sick, and as they lie on the floor groaning and asking for a pipe, Frodo waltzes over and, picking up a single cracker FINALLY GETS A VICTORY by eating it! Merry and Pippin, after a long period of convalescence, are very bitter.

Then in a DITZSCHIFAT (think Mark Chang from Yugopotamia) between Boromir and Haldir, the Elf's herringbone is cut off by the Gondorian's sword, and the Men cheer; then Haldir whips out his bow and arrow. The manly heir to the Stewardship of Gondor falls to the ground whimpering. Faramir rushes into the ring and whips out a sword pilfered from an orc at Osgiliath. Haldir screams and tries to hide under the prone Boromir, and Faramir is declared the winner.

Finally, in the Forced-Growing contest between (yet again) Merry and Pippin, both spill so much Ent-draught that they are disqualified (even though Merry ends up as the tall hobbit yet again) by Treebeard, who roars at them for three days.