Who Would Win?

[Lachwen]

In a caber toss between Saruman and Treebeard: Treebeard wins by successfully tossing not only the caber, but the entire Tower of Orthanc as well.

In a fishing competition between Sméagol and Déagol: Déagol takes an early lead by actually catching a fish while Sméagol sits on shore, but is murdered by Sméagol and thus disqualified.

And in an arrow-catching competition between Boromir and Faramir: well, that's just harsh, isn't it?

[Rimbaud]

In a Scrabble competition between Frodo and Legolas, the Elf triumphs, due to his language having a higher average of letters per word, and a preponderance of 'q's.

In a Monopoly competition between Frodo and Gimli, the Dwarf comes through easily, as he has a more natural propensity to hoard and gather resources, and proves a ruthless landlord. Frodo, rather sportingly, lets Gimli stay in Park Lane for free. Feh!

In a Poker competition between Frodo and Gandalf, the wizard snatches the cash, due to his face being entirely obscured by bushy beard, not allowing Frodo to read his reactions. The Hobbit's ruddy cheeks are thoroughly scarlet by now. Three straight defeats!

In a Cross-country race between Frodo and Aragorn, the Man is victorious, because a) his legs are longer and b) he's a Ranger. Doh! Four down for Mr Baggins.

In an Eating competition between Frodo and Sam, the young Gamgee is ecstatic following a thumping win, as Frodo is worried that excessive weight gain may not enable him to wear fine pieces of gold jewellery, particularly on his fingers.

In an Invisibility competition between Frodo, and the two Blue Istari, the mssing wizards are successful by default, as nobody had seen them at all, whereas they'd all see Frodo fall over in the pub and disappear.

Thoroughly fuming by this point, Frodo sets off for his Ring-throwing competition with Sauron, with a deadly glint in his eye... Who'd be a naughty Maia, eh?

[Beanamir of Gondor]

In yet another Eating contest, this one between Merry and Pippin, both would eat themselves sick, and as they lie on the floor groaning and asking for a pipe, Frodo waltzes over and, picking up a single cracker FINALLY GETS A VICTORY by eating it! Merry and Pippin, after a long period of convalescence, are very bitter.

Then in a DITZSCHIFAT (think Mark Chang from Yugopotamia) between Boromir and Haldir, the Elf's herringbone is cut off by the Gondorian's sword, and the Men cheer; then Haldir whips out his bow and arrow. The manly heir to the Stewardship of Gondor falls to the ground whimpering. Faramir rushes into the ring and whips out a sword pilfered from an orc at Osgiliath. Haldir screams and tries to hide under the prone Boromir, and Faramir is declared the winner.

Finally, in the Forced-Growing contest between (yet again) Merry and Pippin, both spill so much Ent-draught that they are disqualified (even though Merry ends up as the tall hobbit yet again) by Treebeard, who roars at them for three days.

[Boromir88]

A Fight to the death, mudwrestling contest, for the love of Aragorn.-Between Arwen and Eowyn. Winner- Eowyn, since she just all around kicks butt, and can put some of those manly body slams down on Arwen. However, Aragorn seeing the strength of Eowyn, and seeing he doesn't want to be beaten down by a girl, decides he doesn't want to be with Eowyn. Eowyn still wins because of course Arwen is dead, she just doesn't get the guy.

A who's a more pessimistic misanthrope, most likely to commit suicide- Agent Elrond and Denethor. Agent Elrond is the more pessimistic misanthrope as he happens to hate everyone. "I hate dwarves, they hid ine their mountains, they don't care for anyone. I hate men, men are weak. I hate my daughter, she ran off with a man, who just happen to hate. I hate orcs they wounded my wife. I hate my wife she was wounded and left me. I hate my sons all they care about are killing the orcs I hate." Considering Agent Elrond hasn't committed suicide yet, like Denethor, Denethor wins by a judges decision. It was a close one.

A who's more of a radical fangurl contest- Beregond or Orlando Bloom fans. Winner-Orlando Bloom fans. For the simple fact that there's more of them. Beregond risked his life, risked his job, risked jail time, and has a shrine devoted solely with little Faramir memorabilia. But, there's just too many Orlando fans, and only one Beregond. Again, winner-Orlando Bloom fans.

[The Perky Ent]

In an Orc killing contest between Legolas and Gimli, Legolas would unfortunatly win because his arrows are computer animated, and could technically make the orcs extinct in one shot.

In a flying contest between the Balrog and Smaug, the Balrog would win because he can hop higher than Smaug can fly, and the Balrog used his wings (he has wings, but can't fly) to glide across the air.

In a ring destorying contest between Isildur and Frodo, Isildur would win, because according to my version of LOTR, Elrond grabs Aiglos and stabs Isildur in the chest. Then he lifts him up and chucks him into the fire.

In a dance contest between Frodo and Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadil would win, because the sheer color of his boots would blind the Shire out of all existance

[Ainaserkewen]

A flying contest between Pippin and Frodo...who am I kidding, I just really want to see them both launched. Probably Pippin because he would have the Took instinct to catch the upward drafts.

A singing contest between Aragorn and Legolas, I'd opt for Legolas because he's had so many more years of practice and Aragorn was probably shot down by Rivendell Elves when he was 10 and didn't sing in public much.

[Formendacil]

I shocked that this isn't in here yet... I really am!

In a disco contest between Boromir and... anybody...

(I'll let you guess what happens. )

[The Perky Ent]

In an Orc killing contest between Legolas and Gimli, Legolas would unfortunatly win because his arrows are computer animated, and could technically make the orcs extinct in one shot.

In a flying contest between the Balrog and Smaug, the Balrog would win because he can hop higher than Smaug can fly, and the Balrog used his wings (he has wings, but can't fly) to glide across the air.

In a ring destorying contest between Isildur and Frodo, Isildur would win, because according to my version of LOTR, Elrond grabs Aiglos and stabs Isildur in the chest. Then he lifts him up and chucks him into the fire.

In a dance contest between Frodo and Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadil would win, because the sheer color of his boots would blind the Shire out of all existance