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#1 | |||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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Going back to front:
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In addition I don't see why she would not warn the people of Doriath as you suggest in your option 1. If a message was send to Beren and Lúthien by some one else than Melian than the Elves of Doriath would have had a warning. The Elves were without a leader (especially if we take the hunt, with many of the Lords slain beside Thingol) and in addition the march-wardens of the north that had as jet fought a war out of a effective protection would now need to protect the realm by their own strength. In such a situation a warning immediately before the attack would not help much. It would lessen the surprise but not so much as to save the day for the Elves. (If Thingol had planed a war against the Dwarves, thinks would have been otherwise.) Respectfully Findegil |
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#2 | |
Late Istar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,224
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Findegil wrote:
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I agree, though, that in either case Melian could still warn Beren and Luthien in Ossiriand before departing. About Man of the Wold's points: Note 1 - Agree with Findegil; "outlaw" is fine. Note 2 - I'm still a bit torn about Mim's death. It is said in the extension of GA that preceded "Wanderings" that "Hurin comes to Nargothrond and slays Mim the petty-dwarf". Of course that could simply be compression. I suppose I still lean toward the Q30 version, though I can't say for sure that I won't change my mind. Note 3 - The fate of the outlaws still strikes me as the most difficult point in the chapter, and I can think of nothing to add to what has already been said about it. Note 4 - I'm not sure that Man of the Wold's suggestion "ruins the gesture" the way the Q30 version does. But there is no source for it. Also, it appears to be completely unnecessary, as the outlaws would still have to be kept alive up to that point. Note 5 - I don't think the healing by Melian can be justified in our text at all. Note 6 - Nothing to add here. Note 7 - I agree with Man of the Wold here; Thingol's desire for the gold seems fine to me. Note 8 - Again agreement. Note 9 - I think that, if all else fails, we can always fall back on the single sentence of Q30 for the quarrel, so the story point definitely stands. Note 10 - Certainly the Dwarves of Belegost play no part. As for Mim's death - I don't see it necessarily as unusable even as a disingenuous excuse. Note 11 - I actually half agree with Man of the Wold here. I don't think that the power of the Girdle was necessarily absolute. Perhaps it could have been overcome by treachery. But I think that in our version it must be the case that it was not in fact overcome by treachery. The note that Findegil mentions makes that plain. Note 12 - I think it's possible for some of the Elves of Doriath to be treacherous. But, again, I don't think that it's useable in our version. Note 13 - I agree with Findegil - we cannot use a version like that. Notes 14, 15 and 16 - I addressed these points briefly above and can think of nothing to add. Is there still a disagreement between Findegil and Maedhros here? Note 17 - Agree. |
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#3 |
The Kinslayer
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Findegil, I thought that you were going to make a new draft for us to use in this chapter using the Chapter 14 referece of the Quenta.
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"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy." |
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#4 | ||||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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Sorry for the long delay, but at first I thought it would be good to wait until the discussion had cleared even the last open points and then the task was driven by other things from my mind.
So now here we go: Our basis text is: The History of Middle-Earth; volume 4; The Shaping of Middle-Earth; chapter III: The Quenta Noldorinwa (Q30) Quote:
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The single point left now where we still do not agree is the fight of the Dwarves against Doriath. In version a we can add some further details but I don’t see that for version b. I repeat my self for post 58 : It all comes down to the question if we will take "Thingol is lured outside {...} his borders" or "Thingol is {...} induced to go to war beyond his borders". I do not see any forcing reason to drive us one way or the other. And even if some one could bring in such a reason, I still think that option b could be a planed revision that is unworkable for us, while option a we could nicely incorporate into existing writings. In the end of my working (the fight of the Feanorians against Dior) I introduce much more detailed material since that was what was agreed upon in the discussion before and I found it not necessary to search first more storyline-like sentence to expand them later. The result is a nearly not readable text, if it is forum-formated, my apologies for this. But it shows nicely were I am aiming at in the end. Respectfully Findegil |
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#5 | |||
The Kinslayer
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Great work Findegil, as of yet, I have not been able to read it in great detail but it looks very good for now.
I think that we are still missing the link between the last part of the Wanderings of Húrin and that of the beginning of chapter 14 of the Quenta. I still think that there are lots of details that can be added to our story in general. Such as an exchange between the dwarves and Thingol, etc. Quote:
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"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy." |
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#6 | |||||
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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Posted by Maedhros:
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Posted by Maedhros: Quote:
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Respectfully Findegil |
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#7 | |
The Kinslayer
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FD-SL-29 Thereafter was Dior Thingol's heir, child of Beren and Lúthien, king in the woods, most fair of all the children of the world, for his race was threefold: of the fairest and goodliest of {Men}[the Edain], and of the {Elves}[Eldar], and of the {spirits divine of Valinor}[ Maiar of the Blessed Realm][.]<Sil77 Dior Eluchíl had to wife Nimloth, kinswoman of Celeborn, prince of Doriath, who was wedded to the Lady Galadriel. The sons of Dior and Nimloth were Eluréd and Elurín; and a daughter also was born to them, and she was named Elwing, which is Star-spray, for she was born on a night of stars, whose light glittered in the spray of the waterfall of Lanthir Lamath beside her father's house.>{; yet it}[Yet Dior was not] shielded {him not} from the fate of the oath of the sons of Fëanor. For Dior went back to Doriath FD-SL-31 <TY and with the power of the Silmaril {restores}[restored] it>[,] and for a time a part of its ancient glory was raised anew, though Melian no longer dwelt in that place, and she departed to the land of the Valar beyond the western sea, to muse on her sorrows in the gardens whence she came.
But Dior wore the Silmaril upon his breast and the fame of that jewel went far and wide; and the deathless oath was waked once more from sleep. FD-SL-32 <TN Yet is it to tell that bitterness entered into the hearts of the {seven} sons of Fëanor, remembering their oath. Now Maedhros, whom Morgoth maimed, was their leader; and he called to his brethren Maglor and to [Amrod, and to Celegorm, and to [Caranthir] and to Curufin the Crafty{,}[.]> For while Lúthien wore that peerless gem no Elf would dare assail her, and not even {Maidros}[Celegorm] dared ponder such a thought. But now hearing of the renewal of Doriath and Dior's pride, the {seven}[brothers] gathered again from wandering{; and they sent unto Dior to claim their own. But he would not yield the jewel unto them; and they came upon him with all their host; and so befell the second slaying of Elf by Elf, and the most grievous. There fell Celegorm and Curufin and dark Cranthir, but Dior was slain and his young sons Eldun and Elrun}[.] <TN [And Celegorm] {and he} said to them how it was now known to him that a Silmaril of those their father Fëanor had made was now the pride and glory of Dior of the southern vales, ‘and Elwing his daughter bears it whitherso she goes - but do you not forget,’ said he, ‘that we swore to have no peace with Morgoth nor any of his folk, nor with any other of Earth-dwellers that held the Silmarils of Fëanor from us. For what,’ said {Maidros}[Celegorm], ‘do we suffer exile and wandering and rule over a scant and forgotten folk, if others gather to their hoard the heirlooms that are ours?’> <TY {Maidros}[Maedhros] restrain{s}[ed] his brethren{[.]} [and]><TN {T}[t]hus was it that they sent Curufin the Crafty to Dior, and told him of their oath, and bid him give that fair jewel back unto those whose right it was; but Dior gazing on the loveliness of Elwing would not do so, and he said that he could not endure that the Nauglamír, fairest of earthly craft, be so despoiled. ‘Then,’ said Curufin, ‘must the Nauglamír unbroken be given to the sons of Fëanor,’ and Dior waxed wroth, bidding him be gone{,><TY [he returned] {Dior returns} no answer[.]>}[.] <TN Then went Curufin unto his brethren, <TY [and] Celegorn {inflames}[inflamed] {the brethren}[them][,]> and because of their unbreakable oath and of their [{?} thirst] for that Silmaril (nor indeed was the spell of Mîm and of the dragon wanting) they planned war upon Dior - and the Eldar cry shame upon them for that deed, the first premeditated war of {elfin}[elven] folk upon {elfin}[elven] folk{, whose name otherwise were glorious among the Eldalië for their sufferings}. Little good came thereby to them; for they fell unawares upon FD-SL-33{Dior}><TY [the] east marches of Doriath>, and Dior{ and Auredhir were}[was] slain, <TY {There}[and there] fell also Celegorn (by Dior's hand) {and Curufin and Cranthir.}>[,]FD-SL-34 Q30 and Doriath was destroyed and never rose again.<TN {yet}[Yet] behold, <TY {The}[the] Lady {Lindis}[Nimloth] escaped with Elwing>{Evranin the nurse of Elwing, and Gereth a Gnome, took her unwilling} in a flight swift and sudden from those lands, <TY and[ they] came hardly to Ossir[iand]> and {they} bore with them the Nauglamír, so that the sons of Fëanor saw it not; but <TY [the]{The} cruel servants of {Celegorn seize}[Celegorm seized] Dior's sons (Eluréd and Elurín) and {leave}[left] them to starve in the forest.> <Sil77 Of this Maedhros[ later] indeed repented, and sought for them long in the woods of Doriath; but his search was unavailing[.]><TY (Nothing certain is known of their fate, but some say that the birds succoured them, and led them to Ossir[iand].> <TN [A] {a} host of Dior's folk, coming with all speed yet late unto the fray, fell suddenly on the{ir} rear[ of the host of the sons of Fëanor], and there was a great battle, {and Maglor was slain with swords, and Mai.... died of wounds in the wild,} and {Celegorm}[Curufin] was pierced with a hundred arrows, and Caranthir beside him. Yet in the end were the sons of Fëanor masters of the field of slain, and the grey Elves { and the green} were scattered over all the lands unhappy, for they would not hearken to {Maidros}[Maedhros] {the maimed,} nor to {Curufin}[Maglor] and {Damrod}[Amrod] who had slain[ed] their lord>[.] FD-SL-36 Q30 {Yet the sons of Fëanor gained not the Silmaril; for faithful servants fled before them and took with them Elwing the daughter of Dior, and she escaped, and they bore with them the Nauglamír, and came}[And] in time <TY hearing the rumour /that the survivors of Gondolin had reached the Havens/ {she}[Nimloth and her company] fled> to the mouth of the river Sirion by the sea. I have only added a few such things that are in bold. We cannot use seven of course because at that point there are only 6 of the alive. I deleted {, whose name otherwise were glorious among the Eldalië for their sufferings} this because the sons of Fëanor were already kinslayers at that point. In here: and {Celegorm}[Curufin] was pierced with a hundred arrows, and Caranthir beside him. Celegorm had to be deleted because he was already killed by Dior. All of the other changes are very minor in nature, like the additions of prepositions and past tense of certain verbs. There is this also: <TY and[ they] came hardly to Ossir[iand]> and {they} bore with them the Nauglamír, so that the sons of Fëanor saw it not; but <TY [the]{The} cruel servants of {Celegorn seize}[Celegorm seized] Dior's sons (Eluréd and Elurín) and {leave}[left] them to starve in the forest.> <Sil77 Of this Maedhros[ later] indeed repented, and sought for them long in the woods of Doriath; but his search was unavailing[.]><TY (Nothing certain is known of their fate, but some say that the birds succoured them, and led them to Ossir[iand].> I altered the order of that parragraph just because I think that it reads better this way. Quote:
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"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy." |
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